Do babies *need* sleep training

[Amazonmulu]

Hello,

Can a baby learn to sleep through the night and self settle without being put on any routine?

I have a 11w old baby and since 6w we've meddled in all sorts of schools of thought on sleep training / structured days & nights. As a result she tends to sleep 7/8-10/11 then 11/12-3 then 3-5.30/6. Which is fab I think. Meaning we get about 6h sleep. She is much much happier since we started structuring stuff and we never ever let her cry down. She does use a dummy which is good / bad for all the obvious reasons... Though the nights are good during the day we cannot fit any routine. We've tried everything but she is sleepy when she needs to be awake, hungry when she should be sleeping etc etc so we just freestyle it and do what feels right at the time.

I feel like I'm failing to get this right for her - failing at sticking to any daily routine :( And I'm worried it will mean we have a baby that does not learn to self settle or sleep through the night.

It doesn't help they we know a few of "oh my baby sleeps 9h a night straight and has done since 2w" Grrrrr

Are there any parents out there that followed no plan or routine and have babies that learnt to sleep through and self settle?? Give me hope please!

No need to train, no need for routine unless it seems like your baby likes it. My two year old has never done timed routine (dinner/bedtime at specific times), but she does like things happening in the same order (eg teeth, bath, story, then bed).

My four month old is similar so far - I feed her when she's hungry, she sleeps when she's tired. I'm hoping she follows her sister's lead and sleeps reliably through the night somewhere between 18 and 24 months.

Both children were/are demand-breastfed co-sleepers as babies, it makes no difference to how happily they sleep alone later on.

Don't worry, it'll all be fine :)

My baby slept well from about 3 months and was having one feed during the night, but it was nothing I did because I fed on demand and he slept when he was tired. We had no particular routine at all it was just whatever suited that day and what we doing.
By contrast my friend tried her very best to get her DS in a routine from the beginning but struggled, she was stressed about it and her baby cried lots and she was very focused on following some strict to the minute routine, one size fits all baby book, which I'm sure works with some babies and not with others. In the end she gave up and did what she felt like. Her baby made his own routine not long after that.
They really are just different and some of them prefer a routine and some of them like mine prefer to go with the flow.
The best thing you can do is listen to your instincts, do what works for you and not stress about what you think you should be doing or what other people are doing. If you're getting through the days without much stress, you're getting a decent amount of sleep and your baby is happy and well fed then you're doing fine.

Little babies don't need sleep training, their parents do! They will find a rhythm and you need to help them and work with them and determine the difference between a fuss and genuine distress. Work out the best way for you all to sleep but don't do anything that you're not happy to continue until they're about 2-3 years old and can then start to verbalise/understand/self soothe without crying it out. Sorry, this may not be helpful! Am currently cuddling/feeding DS 2 (10 months) back to sleep.

Honestly, it depends on the baby.

Some like a routine and so thrive if given one, but would also probably find their own if not.

Some don't, but don't need one, so fall asleep when they need etc even if that varies.

Mine fell into neither camp. She benefitted from a routine, but tore it up quite regularly every 'leap' at least (suggest you read the Wonder Weeks, it's the best baby book). Then she was a hard core tether, so that messed things up more or less solidly from 7 months and 18 months. She also had s very fast metabolism so needed to feed in the night until 18 months ( I stopped the boob in the night then, but after that and even now at three she will often eat some thing boring like an oatcake if she wakes in the night, especially if she's having a growth spurt, and then goes back to sleep much better.

She's dropping her last daytime nap but I don't know when it'll go, it's disappeared and come back several times since she turned two. Mostly theses days she'll sleep for 11/12 hrs through the night and won't nap in the day. But She fell asleep when we got in this afternoon at 5pm, had an hour then was well ready to go to bed at 8.30pm this eve.

The important thing to keep in mind is that your guide should be YOUR BABY and not that smug mum from NCT with the 'slept through at 2 weeks' spiel, your mum / MIL, work colleague, person on the bus etc. Listen to the ideas, by all means, but don't believe their 'silver bullet' suggestions, they worked for their baby not yours. Do what works for you and your baby.

Things went much better when I realised all of that. Happily the smug 'slept through at 2 weeks' people of my aquaintence seems to be having a terrible time with their 2/3/4 year olds whereas DD is stellar on all fronts and we are having a brilliant time