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Sleep

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Original poster

Is breastfeeding to sleep very bad?

51 replies

YellowSquirrel · 10/08/2016 11:30

My baby is 3 months old. She fights all sleep. Either I breastfeed to sleep then carefully transfer to cot. Or I have to rock and shh pat a crying baby for up to an hour before every map (which only lasts 45 mins-arghh).
Easy option is feed to sleep. But everyone keeps saying this is a bad habit and should be stopping whilst she is still wee.

What age do babies self settle - should she be doing it at 3 months?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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booellesmum · 10/08/2016 19:28

The best advice I can give you is just do what feels right for you and your baby.
All babies are different as are all parents.
It sounds like you are doing a great job if you and your baby are both happy.

Ohwoolballs · 10/08/2016 19:34

I held my breath as I clicked onto this thread! In currently bfing my nearly five month old to sleep - I thought I was being a bad mum! As a pp mentioned a four month sleep regression I think we are just coming out of it. I did notice night feeds ramp back up but put it purely down to growth spurts but now realise it might be a bit of that and a bit of the other.
My problem at the moment is DS is such a light sleeper (I am too) I can never get him into the cot without him waking up. Co sleeping is our solution for now!

fuxxake · 10/08/2016 19:36

BF to sleep as I read this! I like it, nice cuddles and quiet time, struggle not to nod off myself. Dd1 did it for 12months and no sleep issues since so i shall carry on! Ignore all the miserable people trying to worry u about bad habits.

milpool · 10/08/2016 19:44

Diddlydokey feeding to sleep doesn't have to mean that you're the only one who can get the baby to sleep.

Sometimes I do bedtime. Sometimes DH does. DD will nap when she's with my mum or the childminder.

EASY didn't work for us at all. I couldn't get my head round it. Put your baby down to sleep... Well yeah, fine, but she'll scream the place down and will sleep on me but then the "you time" bit obviously isn't going to happen

Original poster

YellowSquirrel · 10/08/2016 19:44

These responces makes me feel much better. However I do worry about my husband not being able to settle her and me never having a break. And I never even thought about tooth decay?!!!

I am going to continue to:
Bath-feed-story-cot-crying-feed-sit for 15min-stealth manouvre to cot. With the hope one day she will fall asleep at 1st cot!!!

OP posts:

Tootle10 · 10/08/2016 19:45

My DS is 6.5 months old and still bf to sleep in the day (although will sometimes fall asleep in pram / car / sling).

Up until last week he was bf to sleep at bedtime as well. We have intermittently given him the chance to self settle (say once a month) but never had much success. However last week after 5 minutes of popping him in the cot, picking him up for cuddles until he was calm if he got unsettled, he just went still and went to sleep! The first 3 nights we had to 'pick up, put down' but for no more than 5 minutes before he settled. The last 3 nights he's been calm going into his cot and just gone to sleep as soon as he's put down. He still wakes at night for feeds (I try and only feed every 3 hours at most, if he wakes up in between DH settles with cuddles) but it's been better since self settling. We haven't done anything differently to make him self settle, I just believe he's reached that stage in his development, all babies are different, some are ready much earlier or later. It has improved his nighttime sleep, we're down from maybe 6-8 wake ups to 2-4. I miss the bf to sleep though!

I think bf to sleep is lovely, I see it as a positive sleep association. Each baby will self settle when ready, until then enjoy the snuggles

PurplePidjin · 10/08/2016 19:50

Diddley that's true of a lot of ff babies too, except they need walking/rocking etc instead of shoving a boob in and relaxing

Ds1 could be a bit of a pickle, ds2 will drift off over a bottle and a cuddle. I work evenings, there's no choice.

Writerwannabe83 · 10/08/2016 19:53

I used to BF my DS to sleep and when he was young it wasn't a problem but as he got older I found it contributed to a lot of bad sleep issues.

At 10 months I contacted a Sleep Specialist and among other things we addressed feeding to sleep.

DS is now 2yr 4m and is still breast fed, about three times a day, but hang been fed to sleep since he was 10 months of age.

At 3 months I would definitely make the most of being able to BF to sleep, it is a great thing, but you may find it difficult in the future if your baby/toddler doesn't know any other way to get to sleep.

MillicentKing · 10/08/2016 19:54

diddly in my experience babies soon learn who had the milk.
When I was around I BF to sleep, when the boys were at nursery they learnt to nap w/o BF.

Likewise other people could put them to bed at night - admittedly not for the first year or so in my case but that was fine. I didn't see them all day once I went back to work and BF was the thing that only I cold do.

moonmeat · 10/08/2016 20:03

I bf my da to sleep till he was 6 months, i then gave him a dummy as he seemed yo like the sucking motion, i got rid of the dummy at 1 1/2 years and he is now a 3 1/2 year old who will happily go to sleep by himself from 7:00 pm- 6:30 am. Just go with the flow and don't listen to any 'advice' most of it is a load of crap anyway! Just do what you think is right for you and your dc

moonmeat · 10/08/2016 20:04

Da? Ds*

Igottastartthinkingbee · 10/08/2016 20:10

Both of mine were bf to sleep the vast majority of the time. They both stopped bf at around 9 months (when some bottom and top teeth were through - no coincidence there!). I tried putting them down for naps/bedtime awake as they got older but it's a gradual process. I'm pretty sure I didn't do too much of it when they were 3 months. Babies change so much in the first year!

HeathOnTheRight · 10/08/2016 20:12

My 13month old feeds to sleep. I'm not too fussed but she still gets up 2/3 times in the night & I have to give her w quick feed or she won't go back over. I don't think they can be good but have older DC I don't want disturbed so not sure how to stop it?

DaisyFranceLynch · 10/08/2016 20:20

My DS mostly fed to sleep until around 14 months when I went back to work. Until six months he was in a co-sleeper crib, then he slept in our bed.

When we decided to move him into a cot in his own room, it just took a few nights of very gentle sleep training/ night weaning (sitting by his cot and hugging him through the bars rather than picking him up or feeding him) to break the food/sleep association and get him sleeping through the night.

I guess we could have stopped feeding to sleep earlier, but this way worked for us - I loved the sleepy, milky cuddles, so much easier than trying to settle him without milk - and it doesn't seem to have caused any lasting problems.

FanSpamTastic · 10/08/2016 20:31

I did it with all 3. They all self weaned and grew out of it. They are all grown now and don't seem to have suffered from it! They all went to nursery and had no issues sleeping there.

Do what feels right for you and your family.

Airandmungbeans · 10/08/2016 20:38

I've been breastfeeding continuously for 4 years and a month, two dc consecutively. Ds1 fed to sleep for 22 months, then stopped of his own accord a few weeks after ds2 arrived. Ds2 is now 2.3 years and still bfing to sleep. I have done every bedtime for the entirety of my parenting life. Its a pain at times, but I'll miss it when DS2 weans. I am looking forward to being able to go out for a meal before they go to sleep, rather than after. I've lost count of the amount of invitations I've had to turn down. On the plus side, I get lovely snuggly cuddles and an amazing bond with my boys.

Absy · 10/08/2016 22:47

I had a similar thread on this about two months ago as the HV told me off for feeding DS to sleep and said I should be putting him down drowsy. Cue lots of me trying to put him down drowsy and him not having any of it and waking up and shouting at me instead.

He did have a massive regression at 4 months (before he would sleep around 6 hours in a row) where he started waking up every two hours and I would feed him back to sleep. I'm now in a position to night wean him a bit (he's big enough to not feed through the night, and before we had an awful time with him being ill etc). What I've been doing (and it seems to be working) is feeding him for a shorter and shorter time for each feed during the night. He had one at midnight, and originally it was twenty minutes, so next night unlatched him at 18, next night 16 and so on. He then just dropped the feed himself.
If you are worried about it, the advice I received from a helpful health visitor was just gradually reduce the amount of time you hold him before once he's fallen asleep and eventually you'll get to the point where you can put them down awake.

But - for me I've had to really think why was it bothering me. I was quite happy before the health visitor told me off, and then I worried about nobody else being able to put him to bed. Literally a couple of days later DH was looking after him and managed to get him to sleep through his own methods, and same for my mother in law (DH and I managed to go out! For dinner! In the evening! Without a baby!) and it occurred to me that he's not stuck falling asleep in one way for the rest of his life. He's more flexible than I was giving credit for

Ladylolly · 11/08/2016 09:30

I stopped breastfeeding my DS 7months to sleep a month ago in the hope it would stop him waking every hour. It made no difference. Keep doing what works.

Diddlydokey · 11/08/2016 14:37

ladylolly sometimes it helps to move the feed further back in the bedtime routine

So ideally something like bath (if needed), pjs, milk in the lounge, brush teeth (if they have any), into their room, sleeping bag, book - the same one or two, quick cuddle and into bed awake.

Having the distance between feeding and bed is important. It also helps to give them 5-10 minutes before responding to see if they actually need you or to see if they're having a noisy transition between sleep cycles.

FreeButtonBee · 11/08/2016 14:47

I've fed my just turned 1yo to sleep for pretty much every nap and night sleep. This week I am weaning him off feeding to sleep - no boob at lunchtime, feed in a bright room at bedtime - and it's not been a problem at all. Asleep within 8 mins at lunch and 20 mins at bedtime. Easy Peasy. I'm going back to work so need others to be able to settle him but it worked while I was on mat leave.

Tumtitum · 11/08/2016 18:51

If my DD would still feed to sleep I would do it without a shadow of a doubt!! She is 6 months and shakes herself awake if she feels herself falling asleep on the boob I'm sure babies grow out of it and even if they don't you may as well put off the battle of sleep for as long as you can!!

Sparrowlegs248 · 11/08/2016 20:55

I fed ds to sleep all the time, naps bedtime and through the night. It stopped working for naps at 9 months when I went back to work and he had pram naps with dm and Mil. He stopped feeding to sleep at bedtime a few weeks ago. I did a few weeks of rocking, cuddling wrestling etc and am.now on day 4 of gradual retreat. He has fallen asleep in his cot, with the time taken already down from 75 to 40 minutes.

scrumptiouscrumpets · 12/08/2016 06:43

At 3 months old I would definitely feed to sleep, your baby is still very little. You can always stop later on. I bf to sleep until DS was 7 months old, then I started putting him down awake because I was simply sick of it and needed a break from bedtimes. He adapted without any problems at all, at that age it is very easy to change their habits so don't worry about making a rod for your own back!!

Booboostwo · 12/08/2016 07:03

DD fed herself to sleep and it was the only thing that kept me sane. She was a terrible sleeper and without the option of feeding lying down and dozing I don't think I would have coped. When she was 2yo I used the Dr J Gordon method to wean her off night time feeds.

DS also feeds to sleep but doesn't seem to need it. From a young age he would finish bf and put himself to sleep. I used the same method with him at 18mo to night wean.

Both times bf was much preferable to rocking, walking up and down, patting for hours or what have you, but that's my experience.

Ladylolly · 12/08/2016 11:24

Diddlydoke thanks for the tip. His current routine is bath, massage, pj's and sleeping bag, boob listening to nursery rhymes, book (same one every night), rock & shush, into cot alseep. If I put him down drowsy he just screams and screams and takes forever to resettle. Sorry to butt in on thread but how do you put them down awake without a total meltdown?

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