PU/PD will it work with 7month old?

[Ladylolly]

Still battling my LO constant waking and nonexistent self settling.
Really need advice on sleep training as not sure I can handle CC. So PU/PD seems less harsh but does it work?

Need to do some form of sleep training as I have to go back to work and need to start weaning him from the boob but don't want to tackle both sleep and boob at the same time as feel it's too much for him to handle.

He's 7.5 month and hasn't slept for longer than 3hrs since he was 4 months old.
He is roughly on the 2/3/4 schedule and eating solids really well.

Goes to sleep in my arms gently rocked and sung to and is put down asleep in his sleepyhead (total waste of money!) in his cot. Between 7:30-8:30pm.

He will then wake up every 40mins - 2 hrs after that. At midnight I'll feed him. At 2-3am he comes in to bed as I'm so shattered by then and he's fed on the demand till 7:15 when he wakes. I used to get another hour out of him but that's stopped.

Hi ladylolly it's mee :) so sorry to hear you're still having a rough time.
I have no real advice but things have really improved for us - and actually a huge thing was taking the sleepyhead away and putting him to sleep on his tummy (I know that 'back to sleep ' is recommended but he would roll to his tummy all the time anyway and he could easily roll back).
It took about a week but we have such a different baby now. It maybe worth a try? I was of the opinion the sleepyhead head to go eventually.
Hope you're okay

Hi MYA
So happy things are working for you. We had a few good nights of 3-4hr stretches when DP took over the settling but now I'm alone with DS we've regressed back to up every hour or so even if I'm in a separate room.
How do you resettle your LO?

Sounds familiar! Ds is 1 now, and things have got gradually better. They started really improving when he started sleeping on his front. He would wake every 90-120 minutes, sometimes less, and I fed him back to sleep, and the idea was to Co sleep less but in reality would Co sleep from my bedtime.

Now he wakes once or twice. I am trying very hard to put him back in his cot after feeding. (but am pregnant and shattered.......)

I have just started gradual withdrawal/retreat. This I think would have been easier to do before he could stand up. But then again I think he would have got more upset at that age.

I think we are on night 5. It took 75 minutes at longest, with some singing, and patting. Tonight took 35 minutes, with just handholding, and he was actually laying down quietly at 20 minutes. This is a baby that never ever lays quietly.

He has done some tired crying but not proper upset crying/tears. I couldn't do CC or CIO, too soft......

Goes to sleep in my arms gently rocked and sung to and is put down asleep

I would work initially on how your LO goes to sleep, because this is likely to be the main problem here.

Some basic sleep biology: people (babies and adults) sleep in cycles and between each sleep cycle we rouse slightly from a deep sleep and do a semi-conscious 'environment check'. In an adult this may be a simple shuffle around the bed, an unconscious glance at he clock and straight back to sleep. Historically it is a way to check we are not in danger whilst sleeping.

Babies do this too. They will have an 'it is safe to go to sleep' trigger - which is usually directly linked to what they need/do to get to sleep in the first place. If his 'it is safe to go to sleep' trigger is being in his cot, with his teddy/dummy (or whatever) then it is likely that he wouldn't even wake up at those environment checks. He'll just feel for his teddy, suck his dummy, shuffle around (maybe murmur a bit) and go back to sleep.

If at every sleep cycle he is stirring slightly, realising he is not in his 'it is safe to go to sleep' position (in your arms, being rocked) he will freak out, cry and ultimately fully wake himself up. Then you get him back to sleep (by rocking him in your arms). And so the cycle continues.

So I would recommend your focus needs to be on getting him to go to sleep in the cot, without being rocked. Very much easier said that done! It is unlikely to just happen, it may take some time and some gradual changes.

If it was me I would have the cot next to my bed. I'd remove furniture to allow this, if needed. I would remove one side off the cot, easily done with an allen key. I would butt the cot up to my bed. I would ditch the sleepyhead. I could cuddle right into that cot from my bed.

I would breastfeed, into sleeping bag, straight into the cot. Baby will cry because he's not used to this. But you are there. Cuddling right into the cot. Cuddling up and around him. Shushing so he knows you are there. Stroking, patting. Cuddling in such a way so that it actively stills the baby, almost pinning him down so that he's not squirming around. Dummy in for comfort sucking, reinserting constantly (because with the best will in the world, a screaming baby will need persistence to establish comfort sucking).

Cuddling, shushing, stilling flaying limbs, calming, patting, stroking. Always, ALWAYS being there for comfort. But the vitally important thing is that baby is not picked up - that comfort for falling asleep happens entirely and totally with baby lying in the cot and you lying next to him.

Once he's asleep, I'd extract myself into my bed. Then repeat at every wake up. In time, gradually, he'll get more used to being 'Put Down' to go to sleep. lowly, gradually, you can do less fussing comfort to get him to sleep. Aim to gradually do less. But don't expect it to be quick. He may well still need your (gradually reducing) help to get to sleep past is first birthday.

FATEdestiny

Thank you so much for your post. I will try your technique. I can't take the side of the cot as we have a Stokke Sleepi but I will try cuddling in the cot and settling in the cot.

I'm going to try this as well! DS is five months and is fed to sleep every night. The HV suggested reducing the amount of time I hold him before putting him down until I'm putting him down awake. I'll have this as a back up plan. I'm pretty sure he's developed object permanence as last night he woke up about an hour after being put down (he was asleep when I put him down) and he lost it. He also whines every time I leave the room (it's tons of fun )