Sleepy 10 month baby crying to sleep for hours a day. Don't know what to do.

[miggles33]

My baby is 10 months old and is crying at every nap and bedtime. He sleeps in his cot in his own room and usually wakes once a night for a feed. Every time I put him down he cries. He sits and stands up in his cot and just won't go to sleep. I am trying to do gradual withdrawal but he is so upset I am still sitting by his cot every time. Stroking/singing/ patting has hardly any effect. How do I encourage more positive ways to fall asleep that doesn't involve crying and hours of time each day?

Oh I remember all of that! Tricky... The problem I think is it's a cycle, so now he's associating being put in the cot with being left. That doesn't necessarily mean he's upset or distraught - could be just that he's so enthused by life that he doesn't want to sleep! I couldn't do the cry it out thing which a lot of people advocate, so I used to sit by his cot, reading a book with a calm kids story CD on. Or I'd sort the washing while he played, so I'd let him stand, etc and play until he dosed off. Once he'd realised it was quite a nice thing to do, he was calmer, so found it easier to sleep iyswim. I think too, gradually he associated the CD with sleep so that helped too. Once he was calm enough, he didn't mind if I nipped out, then came back - I'd tell him I was coming straight back and did the first few times. Then I left the gaps a bit longer. It took a while for us, but did work. So instead of trying to make him go to sleep, just make the room ready and resign yourself to sticking around for a bit. He'll soon stop crying, then you can slowly extricate yourself!

I would remove one side off the for, butt it up to your bed (or spare bed in baby's room) and accept that until you can get him settling in his cot, you will be in bed when he's in the cot.

Lay baby down to sleep, lie next to him on the bed, give dummy for comfort sucking and cuddle right into him until asleep, the extract yourself.

This ^ would be my start point hit gradual withdrawal.

I started like this from newborn. It took until 12 months of gradual changes until baby could be put into the cot standing, with dummy, I'd leave and baby would go to sleep.

No crying at bedtime, ever. No grumbling, whinging, whining or whatever else people might call crying. Gradual Withdrawal really shouldn't be causing any distress. If it is then you have too much withdrawal, not gradual enough. It's a long, long, very slow process.

Correction: I would remove one side off the for cot and butt it up to your bed (or spare bed in baby's room)

Mine always did this

I bought a cheap camera and talk to her through it. I found if I went in room she just got distressed more.

Get a camera mines annek, (£50 Amazon) download software to phone or tablet or both. And you can watch and talk to them.

I'm always telling mine to "lay Down and good girl" which she now does

First day I had it plugged I downstairs and talked through it so it didn't freak her out.

It's brilliant

There is a sleep regression at 10 months too. What with all the milestones, as they climb and do acrobats in their cots coupled with seperation anxiety. I am just wondering if the struggles you are having have just started or they have always been happening. If it is a phase, like my DS ' s they pass I. A few weeks. If not then as FATE said have a look into some gradual withdrawal methods etc... Finding some sleep association, comforter, music etc...is something I have always done. Nothing works the first time usually but introducing that music every time will help and soon your baby will start yawning when they hear it, suck on it etc...

Also if SA is the case I found that bobbing my son in his cot with some toys while I bobbed in and out the room really helped with this. Not for sleep times obviously.