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Sleep

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Original poster

Controlled crying for early morning waking. Anyone tried it?

79 replies

ragtaggle · 04/06/2004 07:09

My dd goes to sleep between seven and seven thirty every night and wakes up between four thirty and five thirty every morning - for the day! She's eight months old and my dh and I are fed up with it one us always being exhausted (We take it in turns to get up).

She doesn't want feeding at that time and is perfectly happy to wait until six or seven but she does want to play. We have blackout blinds but light does seep through and the birds outside her window seem to be particularly loud. Not a lot I can do about the birds short of going out one morning and shooting them!

We have tried bringing her in with us (works very occasionally but usually sends her in to a frenzy of excitement ) feeding her (Just makes her more awake and alert) but we haven't yet tried controlled crying. I worry that because she's already slept for tenish hours that it's not really fair to do it. I also think that it's possible that she'll have extra stamina and will keep crying for hours and hours...

I'm interested in whether anyone else has used cc for early morning waking. I can just about cope with this if I think it's just a phase that she'll grow out of (ie: when she starts crawling and using up more energy) but wonder whether I should try and nip it in the bud by teaching her that it's not a reasonable get up time. This morning it was four forty- one of the earliest times yet.. I want to start going to bed later than ten thirty!

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emmatmg · 04/06/2004 08:00

I've got one just like yours ragtaggle.
Our DS3 goes to bed at he same time as your DD and like you my earliest wake up call was 4:40am, this morning he woke at 5:25am and he'd never go ack to sleep so I have to get up (my DH works shifts so it's always me having early starts)

I'm sure someone will suggest putting them to bed later but for us that just wouldn't work. By 7pm he's tired but by 7:30 he's worked himself into such a tired state that he'll cry and cry. I think the latest we've ever managed was 7:50, he was inconsolable and was asleep before I left the room when I put him in his cot. He then woke early because he was so hungry having refused his bedtime bottle because of tiredness(he still wakes during the night for a bottle aswell) and wanted to get some proper brekkie down his neck!!

Anyway.......I obviously don't have any advice and have now got used to the nighttime bottles and early mornings. I was always an early riser as a child so I think it's in his genes. But FWIW I know CC wouldn't work here as he just wants to get up. I have tried everything I know to get his back to sleep (Ds1+2) taught me a trick or two but this little man has had enough sleep and wants out of his cot and to get on with the day.

emmatmg · 04/06/2004 08:00

BTW he's 8 months too.

Original poster

ragtaggle · 04/06/2004 09:46

Poor you emmatmg- doing it on your own. The only way I cope is by knowing I'll get a lie in (until eightish when she wakes up from morning nap!) every other day. Like you, later bed times don't work for us. We tried it and it made no difference whatsoever. We decided that if she's going to wake early anyway we might as well have our evenings. So at least we get from seven until ten thirty alone. Or eleven if we're feeling especially decadent... Glad to hear I'm not alone though!

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strangerthanfiction · 04/06/2004 09:48

Has she been doing this for long Ragtaggle? My dd (now nearly 20 months) has a little phase of early waking every time the summer really kicks in. So it might be a phase?

If not, what time does she then need to sleep in the morning for her nap? I always find that if dd's woken 'too early' she needs a nap very early, i.e. on the odd occasion (thankfully for me) she's woken before 6am she's ready to sleep by 9am. That indicates to me that she woke too early as I'd usually expect her to last until after lunch before needing a sleep. I know this is different with an 8 month old but maybe you can gauge it against her 'usual' pattern? If she's wide awake and not tired it may be that she doesn't need a longer night and you have to live with it. If she's tired then it might be worth trying to get her back to sleep when she wakes really early. How does she go to sleep at night? Can you repeat the conditions of that?

I have no experience of cc in the mornings alone. We did it with dd once when she was 15 months but we had to do it at bedtime, in the night and also for naps so it was a kind of whole programme which shifted her sleep associations across the board and did in fact help with early rising. Now when she does wake before 6 I go in and tell her it's still night, to lie down and go back to sleep and usually she does for an hour or so.

strangerthanfiction · 04/06/2004 09:49

By the way I think you're completely right about not putting her to bed later at night. I've NEVER found that makes the slightest difference. If anything putting to bed earlier has had more effect. The more they sleep, the more they sleep!

Original poster

ragtaggle · 04/06/2004 10:27

She's usually tired again two to two and a half hours later but isn't this what you'd expect from a baby her age? To be fair she's not hanging at these times I just take her up and she usually goes back down pretty quickly. We do try and get her back to sleep when she wakes but it doesn't work at all. This morning I tried for an hour lying next to her in the guest bedroom. She kept shutting her eyes and then opening them all alert again five minutes later. I pretended to be asleep and took deep breathes beside her. After an hour I concluded that this baby really wasn't tired and sure enough she was delighted to play downstairs...put her back to bed at seven fifteen and she slept for forty five mintues...

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hercules · 04/06/2004 10:34

God Ragtaggle, no suggestions but lots of sympathies. dd is normally up around 6.30-7am and goes back to sleep around 9.30.

If she goes to bed late then she does get up later eg lastnight 10pm then up at 9am.

If we're in then her pattern stays the same.

I do think though she is unusul in this. I know ds would get up in the morning the same time regardless the time he went to bed.

inkstigmata · 04/06/2004 10:48

It sounds extreme but I'd try sticking the blind down with tape and plugging the gap at the top with tissue or whatever (means you have to leave it shut all day long - but hopefully it will be temporary). So then it's totally black and I'd just go in and say ssh it's still night-time and leave.

You're almost bound to get crying because you have to break a habit here, but if she doesn't need food I would hope it works eventually.

hercules · 04/06/2004 10:50

btw we have no special curtaibsie blackout ones and the sun shining has never stopped her getting up later.

emmatmg · 04/06/2004 10:58

Ragtaggle, your DD and my Ds3 are definaltley 2 peas in a pod.

He had a little snooze at 7:45am too and for about 45 minutes.....although in his rocking chair. He went back to bed for a proper nap at about 10:15am.

Maybe they are Cosmic twins

When is your DD's birthday?

strangerthanfiction · 04/06/2004 11:01

Ragtaggle, dd never ever will go to sleep with me in bed, it's far too exciting!! Well, it sounds as though she's happy to be up at that time in the morning and if you don't want to try resettling her in her bed you may have to live with it for the time being and hope it sorts itself out later.

So if she naps around 7-ish, does she then have another 1 or 2 naps in the day? Just curious to see how she makes up her lost sleep.

At that age I think dd woke around 7, napped around 10 for an hour, then around 2.30 for an hour and a half and went to bed around 7.30pm.

CountessDracula · 04/06/2004 11:07

Yes I did it when dd was about 10 months I think (having done night time cc at 8 months with great success) Since then she has slept 8pm to between 8.30 and 9 am pretty consistently, obv apart from when ill and on odd occasions. Wonderful.

Original poster

ragtaggle · 05/06/2004 05:40

Well I'm really glad to hear that countess draclula because this morning my dh and I have decided enough is enough! She woke up at ten past four and because I have relatives staying I fed her and put her back in between us. We spent an hour ignoring/sshing her until her piercing excited screams got ever louder. It's my turn so here I am with a very excitable baby who is acting for all the world like it's the middle of the day, not the middle of the night. And the worst of it is that because my step sister and family are staying we spent until midnight chatting. So I've had four hours sleep in total. Tonight, we get tough. We will go in every ten minutes until six thirty, which is when we deem getting up acceptable. (Ish!) Wish me luck! Will let you know how I get on

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Original poster

ragtaggle · 05/06/2004 05:42

p.s: Emmatmg - her birthday is October 12th and right now I'm determined she won't get any presents....although I might go and wake her at midnight and scream loudly in her ear...ha ha

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Original poster

ragtaggle · 05/06/2004 05:42

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foxinsocks · 05/06/2004 08:21

oh ragtaggle, I hope it goes well. I've had to do this with both mine (who are now 2 and 3) when they were around your dd's age. It does work but I would definitely make sure the room is as dark as poss first. It doesn't matter too much about the bird noise because they have to get used to that - the light definitely makes a difference.

The other thing that makes a difference (as someone else pointed out) is how they compensate for the sleep they have lost in the night, later in the day. My ds used to get up at 5 but when he wanted to go down for a morning nap, he used to want to sleep for ages and this is where he used to catch up his lost 'night' sleep. He was almost impossible to wake up!. So keep an eye on her daytime morning nap and the day you try the controlled crying, try not to let her have too long in the morning because that encourages early waking.

Good luck - it does work so keep trying!

hercules · 05/06/2004 08:45

omg 4.10am!!!!

Poor your!! Looks like little choice for sanity but the ole cc.

strangerthanfiction · 05/06/2004 12:10

Good luck ragtaggle, let us know how it goes? As someone's said, cutting out the light is very important, otherwise she WILL think it's morning and will feel very cheated to not be allowed up. I can only get away with telling dd it's still night by making sure the room's very dark.

allatsea · 05/06/2004 14:20

good luck ragtaggle. when ds kept waking at 5am we decided to do the pu/pd thing. So, no fuss, milk, cuddles etc. After 3 awful mornings of doing this for an hour he started to wake at 5.45, then 6. He now usually sleeps through till 7, if he wakes before 6am we do the same pu/pd again, and then he doesn't do it again for ages. Hope it goes well for you

wibbsywoo · 05/06/2004 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

ragtaggle · 05/06/2004 20:20

Thanks for all the support. Today my dh has blocked out all extraneous light seeping out from her blackout blinds in her bedroom. This is a temporary solution but will hopefully give us the confidence to do cc tomorrow..Wish us luck! Will update tomorrow

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strangerthanfiction · 05/06/2004 20:42

Good luck Ragtaggle! Keep us posted ...

Sheila · 05/06/2004 20:52

Hi RT - haven't read the whole of this thread but I had the same problem with DS - woke every day at 4am one summer and refused to go back to sleep. I found it so awful I did CC on him - first time I did it he cried solidly for 2 hours and then went back to sleep for another 2 hours. This was 3 years ago now - he was 1yo (now 4) and I'm afraid I can't remember whether this cracked it or not. Best thing about it was that it made me feel back in control. Definitely worth a try although it was very hard at the time.

He's still an early to bed, early to rise boy - in bed by 7.30, up at 6 a.m. I now complain about having to get up at this time so it's nice to be reminded how much worse it was!

I wrote about all this on mumsnet at the time so will look it up and post the link.

Sheila · 05/06/2004 21:07

Here's the thread - my bit's buried in the middle. Wish I could remember how long I had to do CC for! Just remember that everything passes.

cellulitequeen · 06/06/2004 07:00

What time today Ragtaggle? My DS was up at 6am. I hate getting up so early every day and am knackered. I plan to go back to bed when DH surfaces to catch up on some zeds.

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