trying to get 13 wk old to go to bed at 7pm... Any ideas?

[Flossiedooda]

I've been trying for the past week to get my 13 wk old dd to go to bed at 7pm. I know it's going to take a while but I feel like I'm going round in circles and it's driving me nuts!
for the last couple of days I've restricted her daytime naps to a total of 3 hours so by 6pm she's completely exhausted to the extent where she's almost asleep in the bath! She's ended up being too tired to take a proper feed so I put her to bed at 6:30 completely zonked. Then the fun starts. She wakes up before 7pm and is totally wide awake and hungry, it's as if she's treating bedtime as a little nap. I feed her and she's even more awake after that until at least 9pm. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to get her to stay asleep from 7pm until her next feed around 10pm?

I would let her go with the flow for a while and then creep the bedtime earlier. 10 minutes at a time or something.
It sounds like she's getting way way overtired which is not good as it makes all mine high as kites!

I wouldn't let her get so tired that she can't feed. It's trying to strike that balance. (Hard I know!)

How about letting her nap as normal during the day but not letting her sleep after say 4:30? By the time 7pm comes round she will be tired but not too tired. Perservere with a night time routine, bathtime, quiet time, massage or whatever you do but don't change it as this will eventually give her clear signals that it is time for bed.

Other than that I don't know what else to say except to say you do get there eventually!

I think she is still a bit too little for this.

I was told by my midwife that she really believed that the more they sleep the more they sleep - and as babies that was certainly true for both my children.

I'd forget about limiting day time sleeps and letting her get overtired.

I would concentrate on getting her to sleep through the core hours 11-5 (0r 6) and then work on the evenings. If you can get 6 hours sleep a night, most nights, then you will feel almost human again

IMO she's a bit young for all this, I would let her sleep when she wants to sleep during the day, but keep up the bedtime routine and see how it goes, but don't get too stressed if it's not working out yet, she's still so very young.

let her nap for 15mins at 4pm then feed as usual at normal time then bath at 6pm bottle at 6.30 pm bed by 7. hth

She's a bit young to try and train a sleep pattern.

go with the flow. Let her sleep and feed when she wants.

Agree with Lovemygirls. At this age DS needed a little nap between 4 and 5 to help him get to 7 without being exhausted. We always went for a walk so he could nod off in the pram, then he wasn't massively overtired by bedtime. I never let him sleep past 5 tho.

havent read all the posts but I say let her nap more. at this tender age they should be having between 4 - 6 hours of daytime sleep. Your lo sounds so overtired that she cannot settle and is just wired even though she is so exhausted that she obviously falls asleep. Let her rest a little more and I am sure you find things easier. Poor little mite

Thanks for all your messages. I'm reassured that it's not the end of the world if she doesn't sleep early in the evening. I've been getting paranoid that she should be in bed at 7pm at this age as I'm going back to work in a month or two and was panicking that she'll be awake all night! Anyway lo has just gone to bed now and is asleep (fingers crossed.. will probably have jinxed it now!) so at least that's progress.
I will try the late afternoon nap tomorrow to see if that works as poor little girl is probably totally overtired. I've felt really mean restricting her sleep so hopefully she'll be happier having a little more sleep tomorrow!

Flossie is it your first?

If you read a few sleeping threads it's amazing how we all try to get our first into a routine. I think it's drummed into us from the moment we conceive!!

With my 2nd and 3rd i was/am much more chilled out!
Glad you feel more relaxed+

Yes Angeliz, she's my first.. explains the paranoia about routine! I'm sure I'll be horizontally laid back with the next four

floss - you're not mean just trying to do what you think is right

fwiw I agree with the others, J was the exact same at this age - his bedtime was around 9pm, I did try to do a bedtime thing at around this age but like you it back fired - mainly as i'd watched a programme which said no naps after 4pm - was a deffo no no for us.

anyhow around 4.5 months I started no naps after 5pm (he was sleeping every 1.5 - 2 hours at this stage.) for the first 2 weeks it was a nightmare absolute while we both got used tot eh new way of things and I was v consistant same thing each night/day. (did help DH was away then) he's been sleeping at that time since then and i'm rather fussy - and he nows when bed is now.

for now i'd say go with the flow, as she';s still rather young, althou I realise folks might say I was quick with J and his bedtime. really it's about finding what works for you - the naps, the routein etc - althou tbh apart form bed time i've always done things to his schedual instead of mine - seems to have worked so far.

Just wanted to concurr with what others have posted - restricting sleep during the day never worked with my dd. She just turned into a gremlin come bedtime and then slept badly all night. Now I know that if she sleeps well during the day then the night will be good too.

I also wish that I had taken all the books about "getting your baby into a routine" that people had helpfully given me, put them in the garden and had a big bonfire!! They made me totally paranoid about being a crap mother for not being able to do it.

Go with the flow - everything falls into place before long and you'll both be happier in the meantime!