GF gone pear shaped in 2nd baby - HELP!

[JulieF]

DD was a perfect Gina baby, starting the routines at 7 weeks instantly cured all colic, she slept well was really happy etc. I planned to do the same for ds however it has all gone pear shaped.

His feeding is absolutely fine. He is exclusivly breastfed at all the right times its the sleeping that is the problem.

He is now 3 months old. He ususlaly goes down for his morning nap after a bit of fussing and also his lunchtime nap. However after 30-45 minutes he wakes and will not settle himself back. He will scream and scream until I go to him. He is not hungry as he will when picked up wait happily until 2pm and his next feed.

The kinock on effect is that he gets tired after his feed and wants to sleep then (sometimes for another hour) which leads to him cutting out his short afternoon nap altogether and getting overtired.

He then will not go down at 7pm. He will cry for anything up to 2 hours before falling asleep and having to be woken for the 11pm feed. After this feed he will go straight back down until the next morning.

I think I know why it is happening. He was a small baby, lost a lot of weight early on, took 1 month to regain his birthweight and becuase I was having to take him to b/f clinics and also trying to keep dd's activities so she wouldn't feel left out he got too used to falling asleep in his carseat. On the day I go to a b/f course he falls asleep in his carseat on the way there and sleeps the full 2 hours in the creche in his carseat. Its just at home that we have the problems.

What can I do about this? I have tried just leaving him to cry but its not a 20 minute thing at 7pm it can be hours. I run a business from home so I need some time where I can do work whilst he is asleep and I don't want to get into the situation where he will only be rocked to sleep in his carseat.

Hmm,has this been going on for long? Is his room totally dark - ie, black out lining / blinds so that when you close the door he really can't see anything? (Suggesting this on the basis that total darkness induces sleep.) Don't really know what else to suggest other than keep perservering as he might well soon give up and just sleep instead.

Can I ask what you DD does when he is asleep as it sounds like you're not taking him out over his lunchtime sleep any more. Other than this sleep problem how easy have you found following GF's routine with your second baby? The reason I ask is that DD2 is due at the end of August and I'm planning on the GF routine for her too, I'm just a bit worried at how well it will work when DD1 needs entertaining at the same time. For example, what do you do when it gets to the nightime bath and feed? It used to take me about 1.5 hours with DD1 as she spent so long feeding. I don't want DD1 to get jealous - she'll be 3 by then. Do you have any tips to make it as easy as poss? (Sorry if I've hijacked your posting )

Let me know if you resolve the sleep issue - definitely interested in how you deal with it.

JulieF the spoiled lunchtime nap is pretty common I think - we still have it with dd2 (11 weeks). Fortunately she manages to get through with just a 1/2 hour nap around 4 without wrecking bedtime - sorry this isn't the case for you

All I can suggest is that you go out in the car or pram/buggy at 4-4.30 to "force" your ds to nap at that time. That should reduce the likelihood of overtiredness at 7.

Sounds like you will have to take your dd along too unless she is somewhere else at the time ..

PS - Nottsmum - GF is more difficult with baby2 obviously but it's getting easier. dd1 acted up in the first few weeks (tantrums near bedtime, resulting in fretful baby too) but is fine now about dd2 needing feeding. dd1's bathtime routine has lengthened to accommodate them both - she used to have bath at 6.15 and then a 1/2 hour story etc with undivided attention. Now bathtime is more like 5.45 and she has to mostly amuse herself from 6.15 onwards. It helps that she is brilliant at going to sleep at bedtime herself. I think GF recommends TV or videos but that's not practical for us as TV is two floors below and I'm not going to give dd1 a bedroom TV at age 3. Fortunately she loves books and is pretty good at playing by herself.

Forgot to add JulieF that I'm still giving dd2 a mini feed at 5pm when dd1 has her tea, since I found that for her to settle well at 7 it's important that she's neither too tired -nor- too hungry at her bedtime feed. GF said this should be dropped by 8 weeks but no rush I think

Thanks for the info Inkstigmata. I also found a thread on here last night where someone else had posted my exact question! Flexibility is the key (which I had expected). DD1 is pretty good at playing by herself so I'm hoping that if I do bathtime for the two of them she'll then occupy herself while I feed. DH often doesn't get back from work until nearly 7 so I'll probably be on my own most of the time.

Bit of a long shot as I know it's meant to work best on new borns, but have you tried swaddling him? I didn't start doing this with ds2 until around 8 weeks though (both dss gf babies). I was desparate for him to sleep longer than 45 mins at lunch time so I could spend time with ds1 (3 yrs), and it worked a treat. The swaddle had to be quite tight or he would wriggle free and wake up, but once wrapped he was happy as anything, and it even extended his night time sleep. We only did it for about a month, but by then he was well established into the routine and we haven't looked back.
We are finding it harder to do GF second time around, but as long as I managed to keep his feeds on track, and make sure he slept every 2 hours things seemed to be ok. Now he is 11 months, and the routine is soooo much easier! Incedentally we bought a telvideo for OUR room and we sit on our bed all cuddled up for the bed time feed. Then I leave DS1 with Thomas the Tank for 5 mins while I tuck DS2 in bed, so I can then spendtime reading him a story afterwards. HTH.

My 5 month old DS started doing the crying after 45 mins at lunchtime recently. I dug out GF's advice on this and reduced his morning nap to half an hour (from the time he stops fussing on his bad mornings!) and it seems to have done the trick. Mind you, writing this 35 minutes into his lunchtime nap is just asking for trouble,

I knew it - 10 minutes later, what happens? He started crying! Seemed he was hungry though, as he messed around so much during his am feeds.