If you co-slept/didn't sleep train...

[CobsAhoy]

If you co-slept/didn't sleep train, at what age did your LO move into their own room?

My DD is coming up to 9months and we have always bed shared, this has meant either me or her dad have always been with her while she sleeps. Although this wasn't what I planned (or expected!), I'm fine with it and actually quite enjoy lying next to her and pissing round on my phone rather than doing housework :)

But I am curious at what point babies who aren't encouraged to move into their own room decide they want to.....

dd came in with us every night until she was about 18months (although she settled in her cot from... um ... don't know. She would continue coming in as and when she wanted - this lessened and lessened over the years so now at 10 she only comes in if she has a nightmare or is poorly - or sometimes if dh is away for a treat . I'd say the big shift happened about 5-6years... We were sharing a bed this weekend as it was just the two of us. I was awake when she woke in the night - looked up at me, smiled, snuggled into my arm and went back to sleep

7 here. But my childless work colleagues were mortified, as in up in arms, telling me it was akin to child abuse when I mentioned it in a casual chat when DC was 3. DC is very well adjusted and confident and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

I always put my babies into baby grows, nurses them to sleep and then rested them in their cots. When they woke in the night, I would take them into bed with me. As the children grew, they eventually slept through the night and therefore stayed in their beds. As they got older, they would come to us in the middle of the night to climb into bed with us if they woke up in the night. It slowly tapered off and was completely finished by the age of six. As long as they fell asleep in their own beds we where quite relaxed about them crawling into bed with us in the middle of the night if they woke and were frightened.

She didn't get her own room until 5, she's 6 now and still a regular nocturnal visitor.

Interesting to hear lots different experiences. Dd is 18mo & we've always co-slept. We keep wondering if/when we should try to move her out but she just sleeps so well with us I keep putting it off. Not even sure if I really want to move her out but we do get comments too.. mainly from my mum when she babysits!

I think cosleeping is very natural and has been the norm throughout human history and is still routinely practiced by half the workd's population today without question. It makes life easier. Everyone gets more sleep and the little ones get the touch, the closeness and the security that they need.

My children are much older now. They are very independent and confident. I wasn't stifling or milky coddling them, I was just doing what came naturally and what worked best for us. My husband worked long hours and lived to feel them cuddle up against him in the night. He didn't get to see so much of them during the week, so it was sweet for him. They have a strong bond.

Milky = Molly
Lived = loved

Sorry, typing on phone!

Eldest was nearly two. Middle child was one. Youngest was two.

When your babies are small and everything is so intense and hands on and overwhelming it feels like it will never end. But it does. And then you look back on those days with yearning.

When I was "in the trenches" older women would tell me to enjoy the baby and not to wish these previous days away. I thought they were mad. I was exhausted and a little stressed. Now I see what they mean!

Don't worry about what your mum or mil has to say. Every mum and baby pair is unique. You learn to read your baby and no one knows better than you. There really is no wrong or right way on mist of this stuff. And, in the absence of gross negligence or out right abuse, they all turn out alright I the end despite the things we do as mothers!

Just remember we've been evolving for millions of years, and every single one of us had imperfect parents that made mistakes. Your baby is designed for perfect parenting. It will all be fine.

Good night. Xx

Urg, imperfect parenting!

DD has just turned 5yo and is still sleeping with us. She gets a choice every night but rarely chooses her own room. 21mo DS is also still with us.

Ds is 8mo. We still co sleep. Mainly because I still feed him to sleep.... his nursery is a big room though so we have a double bed that we sleep in together. He's only slept in his cot about 3 times... I would like to get him in his cot as I think I disturb him a lot and he feeds in the night for comfort.. but as I feed to sleep and he doesn't transfer well, I'm not sure how I'm going to get him in there. I don't subscribe to sleep training as such. A bit stuck really.

I also love sleeping next to him. What a lovely sight to wake up to

Thank you margrethe,

Yes sharing a bed definitely works for us, I'm not sure how I would have got any sleep during the 4 month sleep regression otherwise! And it's certainly a lot easier to enjoy the baby phase when you aren't trying to push them into doing things they aren't willing/able to do yet, I'm sure some babies are happy in their own space but ours let us know pretty sharpish that her place was in our bed!

And I totally agree about it being nice for dads too, I think falling asleep/waking up all together has been the loveliest part of having a baby so far. And stopping caring about what other people think has definitely helped me to enjoy that guilt free!

Three and a half. We bought bunk beds and she had frozen bedding which was an exciting prospect, she just took herself off.

I moved my DD at 21 months. She was very excited about getting her own room. We made a fuss and decorated it with her art from nursery.