and nightmares in adults, any advice, shared experience on "turning" them

[lemonice]

I have a really bad nightmare problem which sometimes carries on into the next day. I've got a few recurring nightmares which I'm getting completely fed up with. One type is different situations in the nightmare but say for example I'm trapped somewhere and about to be attacked, I try to scream but no sound comes out and I realise somehow that I'm asleep but I can't wake myself up and get out of the nightmare (usually if dp is there he wakes me up but sometimes he's not as he works nights and i seem to get stuck in this nightmare without being able to wake myself up for ages.)

Another one is a nightmare where there is something EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that I've just remembered I've forgotten to do and now it's too late and there will be terrible consequences. This is the one i hate because it always follows the same pattern where i wake up confused and convinced I haven't done this thing and it lingers on worrying me during the day. I have to tell myself there wasn't an essential thing and it's all my recurring nightmare even though I still think it's true. I doubt anyone can follow this. I know this second nightmare is stress related but has anyone any idea how to control nightmares or change them while your asleep. I've heard of people doing this and done it myself in dreams occasionally but don't seem to be able to do it regularly. Sorry such long drivel.

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Thanks, I started these particular ones about ten years ago I think but have always had nightmares. The forgetting the important thing one is less physically frightening but means i spend half the day trying to recall it so that i can sort it out ie sometimes in the dream "I know" what i've forgotten to do but the next day in real life I can't work it out.

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Hi lemonice, have you tried when you realise you can ot wake up scream again and try to reach for a weapon or phone or pet or something in your dream or turn your body - if you sense you are dreaming then you should be able to turn dream or change the usual outcome for the other one to try lie adn go back into dream to let someone know you have found it hope this sort of makes sense

I have very vivid and detailed dreams. When I went through psychotherapy some years ago my therapist advised me that you should never awaken someone from a nightmare, as it is important that they reach the end of it. This is a way of solving whatever the problem is that causes the nightmare.

As others have said, when you are in a semi-sleep state, you can deliberately push the dream in the direction you favour. This can help to empower you in the way you feel about the dream.

I find that lists really help with the 'haven't done something!' nightmare. In the past when these sorts of dreams have been a problem (oddly enough only when I was working, not since I became a FTM - which is far more stressful!) I would write down everything I had to do and leave the list and a diary by my bed to reassure myself when I woke from the nightmare. If I was still anxious when I woke I would write down that I might have forgotten something at the bottom of the list, and always recognised that as a 'dream anxiety' the following day. Eventually, just knowing that the list and diary were there was enough to divert the dream.

Do you recognise the frightening nightmares as they develope? If so, perhaps you could begin to divert the direction the dream takes before it gets frightening. TBH I only ever had partial success with that.

Well went to bed with my masterplan to recognize I was having a nightmare and control it. I've only had limited success doing this before. manged not to be able to get to sleep until 2.30am and seemd i was immediately ambushed by a terrifying nightmare. I was lying down in bed and from the side a huge ball of wiry stuff or coconut fibre jumped on me and I jumped out of my skin. Then I realised that it wasn't anything living but the ceiling had fallen down on top of me, then it was scorching hot and I realised it was an explosion. It all happened so quickly as it might I imagine if you were in a real life situation that I didn't have time to change the direction of the nightmare before i spontaneously started screaming and was rescued by dp waking me up. Woke up completely confused and crying, ages to settle down because we were in reality in the same situation when I woke up except no explosion or balls of burning dust. Took ages to get back to sleep and quite frustrated about seemingly powerless to help myself. Sorry to be boring (I know that other people's dreams are)

OH Lemonice I have always suffered from really awful nightmares. I hate sleeping alone because of it and even got a cat as a teenager as I was so afraid. I agree with gothicmama that trying to control it is good and sometimes I can sometimes I cant. I almost always try to fly but sometimes get dragged down by gravity. I also try to save people if they are being killed. Papillon has some good visualisations for kids on the spiritual bit of the thread why dont you ask her for some adult ones for nightmares.

Flying dreams I really like and when I have those you're right they are probably ones that I do find it possible to control. With the nightmares I find they happen so quickly and spiral away from my control like being drugged that I just can't find the way to get out of it. I will look at the visualisation thread. Thanks. The other thing I notice is that all day after a nightmare session like this I have a really foggy head and feel suffocated, too hot.

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lemonice you could try day dreaming about your nightmares and solve them in you head or escape form the terror this way you get used to controlling the dream and it can finish with you safely awake.

Lemonice, is it possible that you suffer from sleep apnoea? The suddenness of the nightmare, and the suffocation aspect, suggest to me that perhaps you're not breathing well at that point. Do you sleep on your back? Do you snore or snort or are you a noisy sleeper? Does sleeping on your side help at all? I'm not a doctor on anything medical, so no expert, but I wonder whether it would be worth going to your GP and asking about sleep apnoea.

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