Settling baby night time, where am i going wrong??

[mower]

I know this has been done before but could anyone tell me how they sorted out the settling at night time problem. DS2 is 11 weeks.

DS2 is so unsettled from 7.30 till 11.00. He will have half an hour or so sleep, then crys. Try to feed him, bf, sometimes he will take it some times he crys should I not try to feed him so much in this time, could this be making it worse. Room is kept dark, we keep him in his bedroom.

When he finally goes he is now doing 8 hours, I feel blessed and am lucky I know. Then he wakes, this morning was 7.15am I feed him and he goes striaght back to sleep, should I be getting him up at this time instead of putting him back to sleep.

I know it could be alot worse but have a toddler as well so am on the go constantly all day, all I want is a few hours in the evening to talk to my husband.

We seem to be stuck at this point for weeks and weeks now settling is not getting earlier. Can anyone suggest anything.

TBH I would just ride it out, you don't want to mess up those amazing nights do you?! I have a 6 month old who still wakes 2-3 times a night until a few weeks ago it was 4-6 times. He does go down easily he just doesn't stay there, you can't have it all!

I think they all go through this stage and I'll bet it all changes in a few weeks.
I know it's pretty pants at the moment though, if it were me I would just put him down later.
I wouldn't take him to his room until he was definitely hungry and then feed and put him down, even if it were 10pm.

Hope it improves soon.

Forgot to add that if your DS did settle at a later bedtime routine I would then slowly move it forward, maybe 5 mins a night.

Thanks usandnosleep I know it is a phase but just can't wait to have those evenings back.

Am doing a comprimise at mo am bringing ds into my bedroom in his unsettled period and keeping the lights low that way I can still watch big bro!!

Are you doing the same nite time routine? we found it helped an awful lot to settle our dd and if we dont do something i think she does get a bit unsettled!

Yes same routine every night. Bath at 7.15 either feed him in the bath or just after. He goes straight to sleep after bath and feed but only sleeps for half an hour.

Its such a horrible time of night for us. He cries alot if I try and feed him when he is not hungry, he just seems to find it so hard to sleep.

All day up till this point is brilliant. He goes straight to sleep for his naps during the day in his cot, just wish it was the same night time.

Maybe I am over feeding him. DS1 just used to love being on me when he was unsettled. I may try only feeding him after his bath then say at 9pm then 11pm.

Can't wait for this phase to pass, it upsets me so much as well when I seem to can't do anything to help him this time of night.

did yu bf your first baby too? can you remember cluster feeding in the evening? at 11 weeks i was feeding continuosly for a couple of hours before taking dd up at about 9pm. she'd feed and doze on my lap until being totally zonked by 9. the 7pm bedtime didn't start til she was maybe 4 months.

sorry you go through a wrough time i know how it feels my 10week old has gone from sleeping thru to waking every 4-5 hours for no apparent reason!!!

Maybe try and bring bath time forward, i give my dd a bath at 7 then get her ready for bed then we turn the lights out in the living room and the tv down so she knows it nite tme and then she is in bed at 8!! if you do this already ignore me!

Maybe he could be ova tired??

Yes do remember cluster feeding my ds1. Try and do this with ds2 during this time but he will only feed sometimes and it upsets him so much when I try and feed him when he is not hungry. This is my biggest problem night time.

I agree with dizzybint about not getting a 7pm bedtime till later on. And the cluster feeding. It all sounds normal to me at this age.

Maybe he cries when you try to feed him in the evening as he's tired and the sucking is actually quite an effort for him. My dd was a bit like that. She wanted the milk but was so tired that it was hard work for her.

Also ( I'm not 100% sure that is is correct) my HV did tell me that by the evening as YOU are so tired, your milk may not be as rich or plentiful and that may make your ds unsettled.

It does pass and remember that you WILL get your evenings back. Also you are very lucky to get such good nights.
My dd is 17 months and wakes at least once a night.

I would get him up when he wakes at 7ish and start the day from there - if he is going to bed at 7pm, 12 hours (even though he is unsettled for the first part of the night) is briliant, and you might find that once he is up at 7am he might be more settled in the early evening - he will be getting the same amount of sleep in 24 hours just you are moving the early morning sleep back to the early evening - this def helped with our lo and evenings to ourselves gave us our sanity back!!! hth

princess mel - your hv was talking crap

What I am hoping is that soon he will be able to go from 11pm when he settles right through till the morning which he did this morning but my toddler was still asleep so it was too tempting and I just put ds2 back in his cot where he slept till 9am.

Anyway have had a think and tonight my plan is to give formula after ds bath so I know he is not hungry then do not feed him till at least 9pm as feeding him seems to make him more upset then feed him again when he wants feeding at 11pm which he always takes with no hassle then goes to sleep.

my ds was exactly like this at that age (now 19 weeks). i was desperate for an evening downstairs as I have dd who needed me too. Mine too, was doing up to 9 hrs at night but would take 2 - 3 hrs to settle and once he had been put in his room I never brought him down again to avoid mixing day/nite. He used to have waht I called a breastfest. Feeding,sleeping,feeding,thrashing around uncomfortable with being too full and so on. It was very, very stressful and I longed for a nights break. Gradually the routine got shorter (his doing not mine) 10.15to bed became 9:15 then 8:00 etc and now it is around 7 - 7:30pm. What i am saying is that it does get easier. You have to be patient. Your lo is still so young. Will he take a dummy? It could be that he needs to suck. (My ds wouldn't take one at all but I am sure it would hvae saved me untold misery!) hth

mower - how's it going?

can you knacker him out more in the bath, let him kick for ages and give him a massage afterwards to calm him? dunno, might help...

Had a realy bad night again last night but he would feed off me at least and fall asleep on breast then as soon as I put him down start crying again, this went on till 12.30 last night.

Tonight going bad so far. He has had a sleep from 7.30 till 8.15 now his awake doesn't want to feed just be over our shoulder. Dh in with him at mo. Ds just gone quiet.

Seems when we pick him up and he falls asleep he just crys when he goes back in cot.

Got him to sleep for his first bit of sleep by just letting him have a bit of a cry and leaning over the cot saying shush shush and keep putting dummy in.

Doesn't sound as if it is working now though, he is screaming again.

Should I just keep picking him up or are we making rod for our own back?

tbh I think he is using hte first part of his sleep as a nap (ds did this for a while). But keep at it. Boring bedtime, no light. no talking etc. etc. Good that dh goes up as he won't associate dh with milk/food. To reiterate my ds was EXACTLY like this and still only falls asleep at bedtime by being bf. I am gradually putting him down before he is fully asleep (sometimes works sometimes not ) but it is getting easier. It is incredibly frustrating and I got really stressed as I have a dd and am often alone at night owing to dh's long working hours. But consistency is the key here. Just keep putting him in cot/soothing/putting in cot/soothing etc. Your lo will get to know that the cot is what sleeping is for. it takes time, patience and nerves of steel but it will get easier - I promise. In a year or so you will be recounting what a bugger your lo was at bedtime to anyone who will listen chin up mower.... and a reminder - your lo is so very young.

Thanks cruisemum for your support. Its like ds just finds it so hard to unwind, he was just asleep in my arms (in his darken room) and his eyes shut but his little limbs flying around all over the place.

In his cot now, not asleep I don't think just having a good old suck on his dummy.

Glad things are getting easier for you. How old are your two?

I also have ds1, a great sleeper, who is 16 months (only 13 months difference), so have my hands full, but day time is not too bad.

Its so stressful night time though, was horrible to dh last night as was so stressed.

my dd has just turned 9yo! is your ds getting too tired?