At the end of my tether

[brummiesue]

I have a 13 month old who has never been a great sleeper (won't settle on his own, usually ends up in our bed after early morning feed, doesn't like being put down etc) but lately he has become unbearable. He wakes any time after 4, has a change and a feed then can spend up to 2 hours refusing to go back to sleep (even though he is clearly exhausted) shouting, crying, thrashing around and just generally whinging.
I don't know what to do, I am at the end of my tether, I'm so tired, I get so so angry at the constant whinging and refusing to sleep so then I am cross with him and feel guilty. I have a toddler as well so as soon as I hear him stir that's it for my day regardless of whether I have been up since 4 with the baby, I often just lie in bed and cry out of sheer frustration when he won't go back to sleep.
My partner will let me have a lie in once a week but still refuses to get up in the night so I have to do it, this turns me into a ball of resentment and makes me even more angry! He works and I have been on maternity, back to work next week and I'm dreading it with this stupid patten of behaviour that he has developed.
Any tips? When will this hell be over??!!

Poor you! That sounds awful. I feel bad commenting on other people's partners but hopefully when you go back to work your partner will start sharing the nights a bit!!!? Or, could he let you go to bed early so you catch up on sleep and be on baby/toddler duty in the evening (just in case they wake at that time)?

My DS is rubbish at sleeping for the last 1-2 hours of the night - chats, plays etc. which I know is nothing compared to yours but apparently by that time of the morning they've had most of their sleep and it's only light sleep/dozing really. So, once they are awake it's very hard for them to go back to sleep.

Does he really need the early morning feed or the change? If I fed DS at that time he'd think it was morning and definitely not go back down. Could you try and resettle him without the feed? How do you resettle him?

I agree it may be best not to change and feed him at that time, could you offer water instead? If he really needs the feed could you leave the nappy change as this tends to wake them up fully.

No other advice but you have my sympathy, my 10 month old is currently avoiding sleep too.

My DS is only 4 half months so can only give my sympathy but would also say don't change your DS's nappy unless really necessary (poonami!!). Before bedtime I coat DS bottom in sudocreme (wee'd right into my hand this evening when doing it actually!) and then unless I know he's done a poop I don't change until we get up for the day. Was given this tip by 2 midwives, health visitor and my mum and so far, so good - no nappy rash touch wood
Times I have had to change DS it's been screams and stress and a mission to get him back to sleep (although still I'm 'feeding to sleep' so that helps).