please help - can i safely cosleep?

[crispiecrunchie]

Ds is five months and we are really struggling to get him to sleep in his cot. He will sleep for up to an hour at a time in it but this last week he's waking ten minutes after he is put in the cot

I can't go on with basically no sleep.

He will quite happily sleep on one of us or beside us in the bed. However this mea s basically each of us spending half the night awake on our phone or watching Netflix.

I am really afraid to fall asleep with him due to risk of sids or suffocating him. I can be a bit over anxious and the lack of sleep is making it worse.

He is ff. I wanted to breastfeed but have up after major problems on the first week. That's another story and something that I feel bad about but we are at where we are at now.I know co sleeping is only recommended for breastfed babies.

We have a side car type cot. However, it has never been used with the side down as I worry about him rolling into our bed. He us pretty mobile for 22 weeks.

I have a 2.5 dc who have isn't the best sleeper so want to avoid any solution using cc.

I am sure I would get a great nights sleep if he could sleep on me or by me. However as a ff baby at 22 weeks can do this at all safely??

Oh you can also use the sleepyhead in your bed so they have their own safe space, and my top tip to stop them rolling off is a pool noodle under the sheet at the edge of the bed with cot pushed up against the pool noodle as a kind of railing.

The only time I dropped DD2 (once) and DD3 (twice!) was by falling asleep trying NOT to co sleep so I was unprepared. They are fine btw!

You could try this... roll 2 towels into sausages. Join together in an o shape and put the cot sheet over them. Then put baby inside like a little nest. The nurse did this for my dd in hospital and she slept like a (ha) baby!

I bf, but I have friends who ff and cosleep with no problem at all.

I think you just need to weigh up the risks and do what works for you. Cosleeping was never part of my plan, but at the moment it's the best way of us both getting a decent nights sleep. I sleep quite soundly when she does - but don't underestimate your instinct to snap awake as soon as they do. I get to wake up to her little cheery face in the morning too, which is totally worth it!

Some great ideas. Yes, my understanding is that accidentally co sleeping is the biggest risk but I don't want to make any mistakes. He is 23 weeks this week so over peak sids risk and can easily roll, lift head etc. I wasn't sure if suffocation was an on going separate risk to sids. Logically I think it hugely unlikely I'd roll on him. Much more likely he'd roll off the bed.

I think as a minimum I need to make it safer so if I do drop off any risk is as low as possible.

Do any of you think trying the following is safe? Attaching chicco to bed exactly as intended with no gaps. Me sleeping in recovery position with no bedding and a pillow well above the end of the cot. Also angel care monitor on (though need to check settings as this might pick up my movements if cot attached to bed.)

The theory is breastfeeding babies sleep less deeply so the starting risk is less regardless of where they sleep. Also mums sleep more lightly and are more responsive. Some of the risks of bed sharing can be eliminated regardless of feeding choice. For example removing bedding and avoiding overheating.

I think for him now the sids risk is very low. However, accidental suffocation risk remains but I have no real idea of what that risk is and if I can reduce it sufficiently. It worries me that despite all my reading I thought a bed right against wall with no gaps wouldn't be a huge risk now. I could be making other rookie mistakes.

Also much of the breastfeeding support is great but after switching at three weeks there were some that made me feel I was risking babies life - sent links about babies dying from bugs in formula etc. I was put off perfect prep machine I'd bought by health visitors and we make every bottle from scratch exactly as guidelines say and use pre prepared overnight.

Its tough trying to do it all right.

Thanks all some great suggestions to talk over with dh!

I think it's time to ditch the Internet and advise from others. You sound like a very attentive mother and I'm sure if you trust your instincts and go with what you think is best for you and your baby you won't go far wrong. I hope you have some kip soon.

I'm going to echo bunting you are trying harder that most people I know, trust yourself.

Thanks both I think you are right.... I do tend get a bit fixated on what I can control which is probably not healthy!!

Agree with the others.

I decided to co sleep with my premmie as he wasn't tiny. It made me anxious but it was the only real solution at that time. I don't regret that decision. You do your best.

Fwiw we added a bed guard to the bed - for my piece of mind - clearly a newborn can't roll.

Thanks he has been a wee bit better the last couple of nights so postponed things. We will try attaching the sidecar cot I think as a halfway solution and see how that goes....

My big healthy 4mo sleeps in the bed with me in his sleepyhead. It's probably not passed all the tests but I love having him close and we are low risk. I fold the duvet in half so no chance of it going over him. Husband is relegated to spare room. It's getting to the time he should go into a cot but I'll miss him! Sleepyhead has been great for us.

Thanks southern or sounds like a possible solution. I agree it's lovely having them close. I like it still when dd at 2.5 climbs in with me.