Bedsharing - do I really need a cot too???

[Starspread]

To begin: yes, I've done lots of research into safe cosleeping, my partner and I are both very happy with the whole 'family bed' idea and aren't in much of a rush to get our bedroom to ourselves, I'm getting loads of sleep, the three of us are annoyingly happy, and everything is working great so far. We have a cosleeping cot on the bed too; if I get up in the night I roll the baby into it so he's not swishing about in the bed without me beside him.

My 4 month old has begun wriggling after things that interest him, and presumably will figure out rolling any day now. At the moment, I nurse him down for daytime naps, and then sneak out leaving him conked out in the middle of our king-size bed (duvet and pillows cleared away). Sometimes I tuck him into the cosleeping cot.

The problem is that my mum (generally very supportive of our parenting choices) has expressed serious concern that it's no longer safe for him to nap in the bed 'now he's mobile', and has said she'll give us money so we can buy a cot.

I don't particularly want a full-size cot. I don't have anything against them as such, we just don't have much room (we have an imminent house move in a few months; at the moment if we put it up we'd have to take down the cosleeper to make space, which buggers up bedsharing as I put the baby on that side of me). Given that I nurse him to sleep, which is working fine for us for now, and lifting him the distance required to go down into a cot would wake him up every time... I just don't see how this would work for us. I'd assumed he could just keep sleeping in the big bed.

I offered to get bed rails instead, but she was unconvinced by the safety (yes but the baby could still squeeze between/under them).

Am I just mad? Am I days away from the baby launching himself off the bed in his sleep at any unobserved few minutes? Any other bed sharers out there with any words of wisdom/reassurance?

I used bed rails at that age, but just made sure any gaps between the mattress and the bed rails were plugged with a rolled up towel or blanket so that there was in effect one continuous flat surface. I also specifically bought a low Japanese style bed so even if my baby had rolled off it was only a small drop, but we needed a new bed anyway so I'm not suggesting you should do this too! However you could just remove your bed frame and put your mattress in the floor as a solution.

I don't think you will be able to leave him alone on the bed at all once he starts moving. The handy things about cots are they keep a baby contained when you need to do something like nip to the loo, or get tea on whilst they nap.

Once your baby becomes mobile they will climb or attempt to climb everything, so a bed rail is going to be a great climbing frame. They also bump and fall over a lot. Ultimately they will probably learn how to climb out of a cot. And don't be surprised if you find them trying and succeeding to climb windowsills etc. Mine did before they walked!

So yes enjoy your last days of immobile baby it gets interesting and you develop eyes in the back of your head.

They do like to throw themselves off things when you aren't looking. If it's about space how about getting a travel cot? Then you can fold it up when not using.

The baby is only four months old though, and won't be climbing anywhere till at least a few months time. For now, he's only on the verge of rolling. Climbing is something to consider in the future but for now rails installed safely or mattress on the floor is fine.

I never did. I slept on a futon + base (that's my preference anyway, same as pp I'm not advocating a new bed!) but I can't remember him ever actually rolling out, even though he was is a little wriggle bum. Especially if I were pushed for space, I'd just put a folded blanket or something on the floor to break his fall. Or bed rails, as you say.

Well we have bed rails, once a baby can sit up which isn't that far off 4 months they could easily topple over the side. I think they offer a false sense of security and are better for older children who are getting used to sleeping in a bed not a cot. Ones who have the awareness not to leap off the bed out of curiosity. It's a long way to fall IMO so I am just cautious.

I second getting a travel cot, especially when he's on his own in the room. Co-sleeping might be going great now but you might change your mind in a few months when you're being woken four or five times a night by kung fu baby. Speaks from bitter experience.

You could buy a nicer mattress for more comfortable sleep (though that never bothered my DC).

Mine only naps on me so no idea but just thought your post was lovely and so positive about bed sharing and makes me feel better for 'resorting' to it most nights in the early hours

Fluffikins - aw, thank you, I'm so glad! It's something everyone has to make up their own mind about, but for us we were confident we could do it as safely as possible and so far it's been really lovely (so many cuddles!

No cot here and baby has survived to 2.5... Bed rails and a video monitor so could hear if moving around.

We have Co slept with all the madthings and never used a cot. We had one for ds1 and it became a clothes storage area.

We have always had one side of the bed pushed up against the wall. And used s bed guard or created a barrier with pillows, my long pregnancy pillow was good! When they were rolling. Even once crawling did the same and put them right over by the wall when they went to sleep. We had a baby moniter so I could keep an eye/ear out as to if they had moved near the edge of the bed.

At one point we had another single bed next to our bed, we currently have a toddler bed at the foot of our bed. Just for extra soace.

We have had regular height beds and a futon, would put pillow or duvet on the floor etc if I was worried about them falling out.

They didn't have all naps in bed, some would be out or in pram or sling or sone I would nap with them.

Basically we did a variety of things and I expect we will do the same for Dc6 due at easter, we have no intention of buying a cot.

I think you do. My ds2 used to nap on my bed but he was crawling from 6 months and no way could I leave him on the bed now. He'd wake up and crawl straight off.

I also find a cot useful to put the baby somewhere safe. Ds plays in his while I have a shower.

No cot. Well we bought one but never used it. DC are 3 and 1 now. Slept on double bed and now older DC is on mattress on floor. Very happy. Would have shrieked house down if ever placed in cot!

Personally, I don't think a bed rail is adequate for times when the baby is in the bed alone. Each to their own but a baby could easily make their way off the end of a bed in seconds. They could get wedged in any small gap. It would probably be ok, but a bit risky imo.

We cosleep but that's with me one side and his cot pulled up against the be the other. Even then he tries to crawl off the end or over me. So I sleep holding him so I know he's there.

Dd would have and did sleep well in the middle of the bed and didn't move. Ds1 I couldn't leave in the bed once he started rolling over because once he'd figured it out he used it as his mode of transport until he started crawling as did ds2. If you are moving in a few months maybe hold off but a cot may be handy in the future especially at crawling stage babies can be stealthy quiet when they want to get on the move so having somewhere to put him while he naps may be useful or he may be a baby that ever moves from the spot like Dd and just shouts or to you when he wakes up.

My son is 18 months and has never spent a night in a cot

He has always slept in our super king size bed with us. We used bed rails and have never had a issue, we have a camera set up on wall of our bedroom and keep a eye on him when out of room.

Bed rails have been off for ages though since he learnt to get off bed, he sleeps in middle and never moves when he wakes he gets off bed himself and goes to star gate and shouts us he is up.

It's always worked well for us.