Is 26 months too young to understand star charts? At wits end!

[bandbsmum]

DD is 26 months today, and until mid november was a pretty good sleeper, occasionally woke in the night, but went straight back off again once I turned her lullaby on, and she was no trouble to put to sleep either, just put her down with lullaby on and walk out of the room. This all changed when she discovered that she could climb/fall out of her cot. After a couple of weeks of this we got her a toddler bed, and she did seem to improve about going to bed to start with, but recently she's been a nightmare. Freaking out about going to bed, calling me back several times before she'll go to sleep and then waking in the early hours of the morning and not going back off again. Tried CC, but gave up after over 2 hours and ended up bringing her in with us as we're both shattered and it's also waking ds (6). Bought some phenergan, so thought at least we could have the occasional nights sleep to recharge, but she can't stand the taste, and spits it out. Tried putting it in her yogurt or milk, but she seems to know and refuses them! At my wits end now. I used star/reward charts to get my ds to sleep when he was about 2 and a half, but he may have been a bit older. Not sure if dd is old enough to be bribed with a star yet, what do you think?

She needs boundaries more than stars imo.

But, admittedly I am not Pro star charts!

You could try them. But do agree on the boundries.

I agree that she needs boundries, but that's so difficult over the Xmas holidays, and she's had so many germs recently, either colds or stomach bugs. Hopefully once ds is back to school and we're back to our normal routines things will improve again.

boundaries even MORE relevant and important at these times!

Trying cc again tonight. But really determined to stick with it. Just hope ds manages to sleep through it in the early hours of the morning like he did the other night when dd was throwing up all night. Didn't take too long at bedtime. Just 5 mins, then 10 mins. 10mins finished 7 mins ago, and haven't heard a peep out of her since, so fingers crossed! Spoke too soon - just stared again! 7 mins to go till 15 mins up! Trouble is as she's in a bed now, she gets out and shouts at the stair gate at her door, and her room is directly opposite ds's!

Too young.

Now you've backed down (by bringing her into bed) she'll cry for longer. you're better off restarting. So bring her in with you/do whatever you did before for 2 weeks at least, then try cc crying again- but only do it on a day when you can afford to be up almost the whole night. As soon as you give in you'll make her cry for longer the next night so you're worse off than you were in the beginning.

Is she still sleeping in the day? If so bin that.

The other thing you could do (if its safe) is to gate her room- let her fall asleep wandering around her room - we did this with ds1. Eventually he learned to fall asleep in bed (before then we would just pick him up from the floor and put him back in bed when asleep).

oh you've got a stair gate- leave her to shout- I doubt she''ll wake ds.

Similar problem with dd - she didn't sleep properly for the first two years, but when she was 25 months and I split up from her dad and moved house I sorted it out using a mixture of carrot and stick! She didn't get out of her cot, but she did stand up. I closed the door of the room if she was standing up / crying for a minute to begin with at a time, then a bit longer, and she was only allowed the door open if she laid down and tried to go to sleep. I didn't want to leave her crying for ages, so I would go in every so often and say fairly boring reassuring things like "you'll be all right" and "lie down, you can go to sleep" so that she wasn't on her own, but it wasn't very exciting for her either. I would then give her lots of praise in the morning for being so great - I did have a sticker chart to give her some reward for good behaviour - I've always found them really useful. Anyway I think it took a week or so to get her settled. HTH.

Thanks for advice jimjams2. CC ended in complete disaster last night. Didn't take too long for her to fall asleep at bedtime (less than and hour), but she woke at 10pm, and we were still doing it at 1am. Ds was awake, and is very tired for his 1st day back at school. About 1.10am we gave in and brought her in with us as we were feeling so guilty about ds. She spent the whole time standing at the stairgate crying or shouting mummy/daddy. Think I will leave it a couple of weeks before trying again. Do it at a weekend next time and pack ds off to grandparents. Your idea also sounds good bekks, as wanting the door open is one of the things she demands now, whereas before the cot climbing incident, she slept with door closed in the pitch black, so may try saying she can only have door open if she stays in bed, otherwise it's closed. Thanks again.

how about a night light? Ds3 started screaming at bedtime a few months ago and I found a nightlight (quite a bright one whilst he goes to sleep- it's actually one of those lights that spins round casting patterns on the wall) worked with him (also putting him in with ds2 worked).

If you decide to do controlled crying again do leave it at least 2 weeks - if you start trying now it will be harder because she's been "taught" (for want of a better way of saying it- no criticism intended) to cry for a a few hours before getting what she wants now (in this situation). By leaving it a few weeks you'll actually start from your original position rather than the new one iyswim.

Try a few other things in the meantime, always nice if it can be sorted out without cc.

She has got a nightlight now too. We changed the bulb in her bedside lamp to 15w and leave that on all night.

Open to any other suggestions of things we can try before going back down the cc route in a few weeks!!

bump

Not had similar sleep problems with dd1- she only ever got up a few times and stickers did work. But she was potty trained at 20 months using a star chart and understood the concept, its worth a shot in the meantime

Thanks for that talcam, interesting to hear a 20 month old could understand the concept of star charts, so may give it a go. We've tried moving the furniture around in her room today to see if that helps, she seemed more excited about going to bed tonight as it was something new.

I've also got a quick question about CC. I've always understand that cc was used to teach a dc how to fall asleep by themselves. Dd is very good at falling asleep alone when she 1st goes to bed and for her daytime nap, it's just when she wakes in the night, (any time between 10pm and 1am usually), then trying to get her to go back to sleep in her own bed is an absolute nightmare. Would cc work for this, or as she already knows how to fall asleep on her own would it be a waste of time?

Think either star charts or closing bedroom door for a few minutes has got to be tried as things going from bad to worse. Last night she went to bed at 7pm but woke again at 9pm. It took till 10.30pm and a dose of medised before she went back to sleep. Then she woke again at 3.30, so brought her into our bed, then she was awake demanding her milk at 6.10am, which in turn woke ds up! Welcome any other suggestions. Please!

Slightly better last night. She woke again at 9pm, (seems to be having a bad dream when she wakes at this time), but only had to go in once and she was back off to sleep again. Then she woke at 1.30, so brought her in with us (too shattered to try anything else). But she was awake demanding her milk at 5.45am. Thankfully she didn't wake ds this time.