gradual retreat- anyone tried it in a under 6 month old

[kbaby]

hi,
ds is 5 months and is still waking every 3 hrs for feeds, he is v difficult to settle after a feed and wakes the minute you lay him in his cot. somebody has suggested trying gradual retreat. has anyone tried it in a baby so young and if so how did it work for you.
how do i go from holding to sleep to getting him to sleep on his own.

try putting him on his tummy to sleep

he already sleeps on his side which i feel guilty for doing.

oh dear

all mine slept on their tummies (they woke immediately if put on back)

I would NOT do controlled crying (whatever the new name for it is) at this age. Hopefully someone else will have some more advice for you.

too young and maybe it is a growth spurt. ds wasn't going to sleep by himself in a cot till about 10 months and then we sometimes had to rock him first. and he woke every 2 hours until 6 months.

just get him to sleep any way you can for now, plenty of time to encourage him to sleep on his own when not waking so often

Put him on a wooly type cellular blanket instead of a cot sheet - the sheet might be chilly when you put him down on it.

As a last resort with ds2, I used to put him on a moses basket maattress and cuddle him to sleep on it, then put it in the cot with him still on it. It usually workedf when nothing else would!

its not what we wanted to hear is it?!!!
Hope you're ok, ds is still waking every 1-2 hours [dead on my feet emoticon]

Tell me about it, surely there must be something I can do. I dont want to just accept that this is how things must be as he is just waking to be held. It cant be a growth spurt as its going on far too long and the thought of going back to work and him not sleeping longer than 3hrs fills me with dread.

Sorry to be controversial, but I started putting my ds down awake from 3 months, making sure I'd done a good wind down, cuddling - a bit of walking around the room and singing to him until he was in that "dazed" state (when they hang on a bit like a koala - mmm lovely). I'd then put him down, say nunight and leave the room. He might cry on and off for a while, but after a few days, he would get in his grobag, give me a smile, pop his thumb in and off he'd go. He did have a dummy before this stage, but I took it away at 12/13 weeks and now he's a thumb sucker (I personally prefer this to a dummy but know the big debates about both !) At 6 months, he is now a great "get off to sleeper" for all naps and sleeps - he might moan a bit if he's got overtired, but he sucks his thumb too and this is a good comforter. If you can't do the crying thing, you might like to do the gradual retreat, although I found that going in just actually made matters worse....try it if you can, but don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I'd really recommend something as a comforter - my ds has his thumb - a friends baby has a little rabbit where he sucks his ears until he drops off - you might find a dummy helps initially and then you could wean him off it? Anything to save your back...

Hi Herb
I am having some success with Grad Retreat as suggested by Millpond the sleep clinic, although it still hasn't sorted the nightime wakings. My ds (now age 18 weeks) spent the first 15 weeks of his life swaddled and sleeping in a pram and being rocked to sleep. The problems began when he started taking up to an hour to be rocked back to sleep again and he also worked out how to get out of his swaddle. Life was a nightmare. Now after 2 weeks, he is in a sleeping bag, sleeping in his cot and settles very quickly and easily to sleep with me shushing next to his cot. The process is long and you need immense patience but it goes as follows:
You start by rocking them to sleep in your arms - here is the important bit - you MUST wait until they're in deep sleep before putting them in cot. Set yourself times when you will feed depending on age (I was told 10pm, 1am and 4am) and any other wakings you follow the settling process. After 3 nights, you then just hold them to sleep, another three nights you pat them in the cot, another 3 nights still hand on tummy in cot and so on, until you're out of the room.
Pros - hardly any crying (I've never had more than 10 mins) and you feel as though you are actually 'teaching' them a skill rather than leaving them to cry
Cons - now in week three and although as I've said he settles lovely, still lots of night wakings (BUT I'm not really sticking to it at night as too tired and have dh and dd1 to consider)
I highly recommend this as a pain free way of dealing with sleep problems IF you have patience as you have to stay with them till they're in a deep sleep and you have to apply it to naps, bedtimes etc.
If in doubt, buy the Millpond book which I found really helpful.
I'm more than happy to speak to you by e-mail about this in more detail if it helps....too tired to keep typing now !

Thanks tiddlers I received the book yesterday and have read whats involved. Tonight I fed him and cuddled him until he was dozy and then laid him in his cot, he got more awake at that point and started playing with a toy so I left him until he started grizzling and then I went in laid him on his side(the only thing that stops arm waving and scraching his head) and just laid my hand on his side until he fell asleep. It took 10 mins with only a tiny bit of moaning. I dont think I can do it at night either at the moment but its a starting point. Thanks very much for your advice, I hope tomorrow night is as succesful.