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What to do when ds cant put his dummy back in?

22 replies

Ixel · 23/05/2004 10:03

I know there's loads of sleep threads, but cant find exactly what I need! Ds is just over 6 months, and has been in his own room for a week. Prior to that, he slept pretty well.Now, if he wakes without the dummy in his mouth, he screams till we get up and replace it for him. In our room, he'd sleep through, unaware it was gone. We've tried putting lots in the cot, even putting one ineach hand once he's asleep, but to no avail. Do we carry on getting up, or leave him to scream? He seems too little for cc. I feel like we're back to square one, as I'm now up 10 or 11 times a night.I've also tried different degrees of light and temperature etc, but it hasn't helped.

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twiglett · 23/05/2004 10:23

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hercules · 23/05/2004 10:37

It is a lovely skill for them to have. I didnt do cc the usual way but did it slightly differently with only a few minutes of groaning and really glad i did.

unicorn · 23/05/2004 10:56

Get shut of that dummy- remember it well with dd1- loads of nights of fumbling in the dark for the blasted dummy.
Cold turkey for a few nights- at this age it shouldn't take too long and ds will forget he even had it.
Good luck!!

Ixel · 23/05/2004 21:20

I know that ending the dummy is the best thing, but needed a bit of reassurance! I was dead against dummies from day one, but ds just wouldn't suck his thumb, or do without anything. He ended up only sleeping if sucking my finger at 6 weeks, so I stopped that, at which point dh went out and got dummies so we could get a bit of sleep. But he seems so little for cc; what will be in his little head? Also we live in flats with very thin walls, so if it takes more than a couple of nights, I'm going to be paranoid about the neighbours.

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unicorn · 23/05/2004 21:24

think you're more worried about the noise- just warn the neighbours (we did + they laughed!).. try it tonight . it'll be worse for you than ds! but will def be better in the long run.. honest!
you don't have to do cc totally just try it without dummy... and go in and see him as often as feels right.
Go for it!

Ixel · 23/05/2004 21:30

But if I go in, he'll just lie there screaming and looking at me like I'm a monster from hell. No courage tonight as dh is at work till 1am; need the moral support from him being here!

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unicorn · 23/05/2004 21:49

hmm... don't think my dh was great on the support front.. and if yours actually bought the bloomin dummies then he aint gonna want to get shut of them.!

twiglett · 23/05/2004 21:53

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Ixel · 23/05/2004 22:51

unicorn, dh does go and do the stuffing back in of the dummy, if he's not too tired from work, or not at work the next day. Hmmm. Read what you like into that! Thank God I'm not working at the moment. Thanks for all the advice so far everyone.Still in a bit of a quandry. Perhaps I'll go and stay with a friend for a couple of nights and leave dh to battle it out!! I know its best to sort it out now, but the poor little boy will be so confused. How many nights do you think before we crack it?

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misdee · 23/05/2004 23:18

get rid of it now!!

dd1 is 4 and i have finally put my foot down about the dummy (bad i know). i have promised her 50p for everyday she goes without a dummy. feel a bit bad today as i thought i had collected them all up, she was upstairs wathcing a dvd in my room, i called up to ask what she was doing she yells down 'i'm having a dummy'. so i told her she wont get her 50p for today (its going in her money box for holiday, saves me spending it) and in future if she finds a dummy she gives it to me. she had a grumble about an hour ago whebn she woke up itchy as she wanted a dummy, a dummy has always settled her down during itchy times, but i gently reminded her she wanted to be a big girl and not have dummies, as babies dont get spending money on holiday. she said she wanted to be a baby for tonight, but i said no. she settled off to sleep twiddling her blanket in her hands. I'm hoping that by the time we go on holiday (4weeks time) the dummy will be gone and i wont have to bribe her anymore.

dd2 on the other hand, spat out her dummy at around 6months and refused it totally after that. so easy that child!

ChicPea · 23/05/2004 23:29

If you are afraid of bothering the neighbours with DS's crying, why don't you start the "no dummy thing" on his morning nap so that by the evening he will be more used to the idea presuming he has two sleeps?

Ixel · 24/05/2004 12:16

He often falls asleep in the morning of his own accord, with no dummy, and when he wakes up he's refreshed enough to get up and play, so the dummy isn't such an issue during the daytime. he has it a bit more for the longer afternoon kip. But I know it is possible for him to fall asleep naturally... he did it sitting up on the hipseat this morning! It just seems to be the nighttime that we have a big problem with. I'm going to face him the other way in the cot tonight, in the vain hope it might make him feel more settled. I was really hoping he would've just grown out of it by now. But both of his parents were really 'sucky' children, so I think he's inherited the gene. I tried it with no dummy last night, and he screamed himself hoarse, and was so worked up that not even a dummy could settle him down, so he cried himself into exhaustion, fell asleep, and woke up two hours later wanting the dummy again!

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unicorn · 24/05/2004 12:42

Ixel- sorry to hear another bad sleep night..
the problem is the more you keep capitulating re the dummy- the more confused he will get. ie he just thinks that if he screams long enough he will eventually get it... you have to show him that however long he screams he still won't benefit.. so in the end he will just not bother.
Tough Love I think it's called!!!!
Alternatively have you got a grandma or similar who could have him at night for a couple of days and cold turkey him ?

Ixel · 24/05/2004 19:06

My Mum's coming in a couple of weeks time, to babysit while we have our first wedding anniversary (aah!). But she's not really up to having him all night, and neither is the other granny, so I guess we're on our own. When we do this, I think I'll be on mn trying to distract myself. I've already given in this afternoon, and let him have it for his nap after 30 mins of crying and big tears rolling. It feels so much like back to square one if there's no dummy as a quick fix.

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aloha · 24/05/2004 19:14

I used a dummy clip (buy in chemists and attached his dummy to his sleeping back. During the day he wore it to teach him how to find it and put it back. My son is very attached to his dummy, but to be more accurate, he is very attached to sucking. He doesn't have his dummy much during the day but he sucks anything he can find - fingers, a cushion, his clothes...anything. I think people whose kids can take or leave a dummy don't understand the really primal need other people's children have to suck.

aloha · 24/05/2004 19:14

BTW he sleeps all night every night, unless he is really ill.

Ixel · 24/05/2004 19:17

I can relate to that! Dh has been asking all the girls at work (prob in an attempt to get some attention) and they all said stick with it till he can find the dummy himself. But everyone on here says get shot of it now! I'm 30, and still suck my thumb when I'm ill! Thats why I'm a bit sceptical of going cold turkey with ds. Esp as he has a summer cold now.

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Ixel · 24/05/2004 19:19

Aloha... how old is he? or was he, when he learnt to plug himself back in unaided?!

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aloha · 24/05/2004 19:37

Well, I would guess about six months - the same age as your ds. We clipped it to him by day and encouraged it to find it himself. He didn't actually sleep through for two more months when we did cc - it wasn't the dummy waking him, just habit. He could cry with his dummy in!
He is sucking crazy though and always has been. I hope he grows out of it. When he doesn't have a dummy he has very wet sleeves.

Ixel · 24/05/2004 21:25

See, this is where I'm not sure what to do, as he used to sleep through in our room, even if the dummy fell out. so, is this an own-room issue, or was the sleep just a phase that would've ended anyway, regardless of moving rooms? He's cried with the dummy in this week, but I think that was because he got himself so worked up that nothing was going to help him. Have instructed dh to get a dummy string thing, whatever you call them, from tesco on his way home from work at 11pm!!

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Leeksy · 02/06/2004 03:27

DUMMY DEPENDENCE?
Hi all mums. My boy is 4 months old and is still swaddled and has the dummy to go to sleep (hence he can't use his thumb). He falls asleep no problem and has 2 daytime sleep of 2 hours. At night he goes to bed at 7pm and wakes anywhere between 4 and 5am so he does get 10 hours of sleep - I don't think he's necessarily hungry and may want his dummy? - this morning I popped the dummy back in and he went to sleep but only for 5 mins when it fell out. Does this sound like dummy dependence? Normally I feed him at this time and more often than not he'll go back to sleep but he pretty much starts his day around 5.30am only to go back to sleep 1.5hrs later. He won't go to sleep without his dummy. He can put himself to sleep but not without crying. Maybe he is hungry as he only wakes up at this time not 3 or 4 times a night looking for his dummy. Any thoughts? I don't mean to sound ungrateful my bub sleeps thru' but just wanting to avoid dependence later on. I'd love for him to wake up anytime after 6am but nothing I've tried (ie. more food) seems to push him any further than 5.30am. Any thoughts? x

Babybgifts · 08/11/2005 08:57

If you're looking for a dummy string try: www.babybgifts.co.uk/tradtoys.htm With coloured wooden beads and a ladybird on the string and a clip on one end to attatch to clothing or the side of a buggy. (£5.99)

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