WHY DID I GET INTO THE COT??

[SleepForTheWeak]

DD was a rubbish sleeper, feeding 5 times a night and yo maybe a couple more times on too of that. We hired a Sleep Consultant when she was 10months old and by 11 months she was no longer getting a feed during the night, sleeping through most nights, self settling in her cot for bedtime and nap time and DH was able to put her to bed and settle her at night time if needed.

Then Xmas happened (DD was 14 months at Xmas). We stayed with family for a week and although she slept through a few times and was self settling at bed time, her routine was all to pot and she slept in the pram for her naps.

When we got home DH then went away for work for a couple weeks - and that's when the real fun began. She started waking during the night and I was unable to settle her in the way we had used previously. Eventually, I got into the cot with her (it's a cot bed and I'm fairly small) and although it sometimes takes her s while to get back to sleep , she's fairly content and I managed to snooze too.

We have been unable to put her in her cot for naps since Xmas, and over he past two nights she had gone ballistic at bedtime, even being sick, and one of us has ended up in the cot with her both nights.

It's so frustrating and I'm so angry with myself. Bedtimes have been amazing, she loved going into her cot and we really haven't had a problem since the sleep consultant helped us in September.

I don't know how to tackle it, she's not responding to our approach we previously used (staying with her in the room, gently reassuring her, getting her to lie down when asked etc). We don't have the finances to pay for ANOTHER spell with the SC so if anyone can help with a gentle approach I would be eternally grateful...

Sorry for the ridiculously long post and typos!

Your post reads a bit panicky. The only advise I can really give you is this: consistent, consistent, consistent.

I wonder if your panicky oh god nothing is working what shall we do! WHAT SHALL WE DO!?!? is resulting in a mish-mash of lot different methods that you consider "don't work" so move on to the next option.

Realistically, whatever you choose to do will work if you just make a plan and stick with it. It might not be quick, buy you will get there if you stay calm and consistent always.

This: staying with her in the room, gently reassuring her, getting her to lie down all sounds perfect. Just keep on doing it.

Agree that u need to pick an approach u r comfy with and stick to it. Sleep expert probably helped because u stuck to her plan and felt supported by her.

Do you have an air bed orspare mattress? The next phase is to lie her in her cot and you lie right next to her, outside it. Then in a few days, sit right by it, then a bit further away each night.

Calm and steady, and before you know it things will be managable again

I think gradual retreat from the cot might be the best option - have tried lying down beside the cot but she won't have any of it - so maybe I need to start sitting in the cot at the foot, rather than lying right beside her?

I'm praying this is just a 'phase' but we need to know how to handle it without making it worse.

Don't get in the cot! That is ridiculous.

Just start with you sitting/lying next to the cot. Deal with the histrionics but don't give up. Stay there. Stay calm. Stay caring and reassuring. Don't get panicky and give up. Stay right until asleep, however long that takes.

Then let that establish. It might take a several weeks. It might even take a few months to be fully accepted and established. So be it. Consistency.

Only once established with full level reassurance from next to the cot do your start the very slight, slow, gentle process of doing slightly less to reassure as each day/week passes.