11 week old sleep

[Sandsnake]

Hello,

I have read some really good advice on here and was wondering if anyone had any thoughts regarding my 11 week old DS and his sleeping patterns as there are a couple of issues that don't seem too major atm but that I'm worried might develop.

1. His natural bedtime is pretty late. He tends to go off for the night at some point between 10:30 - 11:30pm. He will often have a sleep early evening - where we put him down in his cot as if it is his bedtime - but will inevitably wake after 45 mins and cannot be persuaded to go back to sleep. Getting him to sleep itself is a bit of a challenge but a combination of white noise, dummy and patting is generally working at the moment (touches wood!). Up until a couple of weeks ago (and still occasionally now) he had 'colic' and would cry inconsolably from around 8 - 11 each night - we'd then usually get him to sleep by about midnight. So things are definitely getting better - my question will his bedtime come forward naturally or is there something we should actively be doing? He has a bedtime routine.

2. After going to sleep in his cot he then sleeps for around 3 hours, has feed (is EBF) then goes back to sleep fairly quickly. This is sometimes in his cot but often on me in bed as he has reflux and has to stay more upright for 30 mins after food and I often fall asleep with him on my chest. He then tends to go for another couple of hours or so and then wakes for more food. This is when he seems VERY wriggly / uncomfortable - he is half asleep and half awake. I try to wind him and put him back in his cot but this inevitably results in him waking up properly and crying. He then comes into bed with me where after 30 - 90 mins ish of more wriggling he tends to go into a more content sleep and then will sleep / feed a bit until we get up for the day (which at the moment tends to be a glorious 9am!).

I don't really mind the co-sleeping at the moment but I really don't want it to become a habit (just a personal thing, totally get why some people co-sleep full time!). I am aware that the four month sleep regression is approaching and that this is when sleep associations / habits can form. Any advice on whether by taking him into my bed for part of the night (although with him settling in his cot initially) I am setting him up a habit for him and am on the road to co-sleeping full time? And does anyone have any idea as to why he has the period of being unsettled / wriggly in the early morning?

TIA for any responses and sorry for the essay!

1. Yes it will get earlier
2. My 11 week old was only sleeping on me from 6am. At 13 weeks he is not waking at 6 or if he is he is going into his cot again

So all good!
(Feeding so brief)

Short but sweet poocatcher - very reassuring! Thank you :-)

My 12 week old has reflux and sounds similar
Although she goes down earlier around 8/9pm she sleeps soundly in her cot til around 2 then feeds and like you I keep her upright so I don't tend to put her down until at least 3 but doesn't settle well after feed normally waking about 5 BUT settles amazing once in bed with me

I'm worried I'm creating a bad habit too but last night for first time she slept in her cot from around 3:30 to 6:30!
May be a fluke?! But I'm hoping it's a sign of good quality things to come!!

1. Is fine, all perfectly normal. The evening 'nap' will extend in time and merge with his night's sleep. I wouldn't even bother putting baby upstairs for the evening nap. Somewhere around 5-7 months naps extend and it will merge with the night sleep.

2. is a lot more subjective. You make it clear you don't want to co-sleep long-term and so on that basis my honest answer would be yes, you could be starting a habit. You might not, some people can 'train' baby out of co-sleeping later.

But the habit is more about you than baby. Going 'oh just come sleep with me' is the easy answer and so you are "giving yourself permission" to co-sleep now (I assume) on the assumption that in the future it will be easier for you to work at cot-sleeping. It's not likely to get easier anytime soon so the mind-set you set up for yourself is that you "allow yourself" to continue to co-sleep because the alternate is harder work and requires more effort.

I put "giving yourself permission" and "allow yourself" in inverted commas. It is not a problem to do this is if you want to, I am not saying this. Co-sleeping is fine if it's what you want to do.

It is likely to be hard whenever you try to break a co-sleeping habit. The more frequent the co-sleeping and the older baby is when the habit is broken, the harder it will be. So occasional co-sleeping is no big deal. Every night is.

And does anyone have any idea as to why he has the period of being unsettled / wriggly in the early morning?

Has he been swaddled when younger? Bringing back the swaddle is useful to calm a wriggly baby. Dummy may help.

Co-sleeper full sized cot may be good for you (as in take one side off your cot and but it up to your bed). The extra space means you can physically cuddle right into the cot and settle baby with firm hands to still wriggly movements. But the key with a co-sleeper is you can extract yourself into your own space once baby is asleep.

I would worry about the SIDS risk with baby sleeping on your chest while you also sleep.

fate I'm not aware of a specific SIDS risk from having a baby sleep on your chest ? Do you mean risk of overlaying/suffocation/losing the baby in the bed? I'm not trying to be a pedant, just clear on it, or to understand.

Yes Poo.

I can see several aspects that go against SIDS safe sleeping advice. Baby would be lying on belly when recommendations say baby should sleep on their back. Baby would not be sleeping on the mattress when recommendations say sleep should be on a firm, flat mattress. Risk of baby suffocation similar to baby sleeping with you on a sofa/armchair.

I too don't wish to be pedantic here. I am not suggesting co-sleeping is bad. It isn't. But specifically having baby sleeping on your chest would significantly worry me, especially if I was sleeping too.

We've got similar issues with 8 week old DD2 re: being unsettled after night feeds. She usually feeds around 12/1am and then goes back down until 4/5am, but after that is almost impossible to settle again and just writhes around grunting. She is colicky and possibly has a bit of reflux so I'm doing the holding her upright for 30 minutes after feeds, but more often than not she'll wake up shortly being placed in her crib even if she was fast asleep when put down. It is very annoying!! I'm hoping things will improve once the colic gets better...

A week or so seems to make all the difference metal. Just when you have got used to something it changes - for better or worse!!

Thanks for the explanation fate.

Thanks very much for the input both, very much appreciated.

FATE - you're right in terms of it being a habit for me more than him at the moment. We never bed shared until about 6 weeks-ish when he had been really poorly and was sleeping worse than usual. I took him into my bed one night and he had a decent sleep stretch - at that point I had broken my hoodoo about bed sharing and it then became a case of 'just one more night' until it became an established pattern. To be honest I got used to not having to get out of bed or wake up as much as when he is in his own crib. This is why I really do understand why people co-sleep full time.

MrsB - well done on that cot stretch! I'm going to try FATE's swaddling suggestion tonight and see if I can achieve similar (this is what I say now, when it's 4 in the morning and I just want to sleep who knows...?!).

Metalhead just seen your post - seems very similar! Bloody reflux...