Please help Really desperate

[lubella]

I have a 10 day old who just won't settle in the night - seems to be getting worse and I have been up for 7 hours and am at the end of my tether.
She is constantly hungry and grisly despite almost hourly BF then windy and hiccuping after 10 mins sleep she startles and the routine starts again. I have been crying all night I just don't know what to do to settle her- she seems fine during the day - I really need advice, would topping up with formula help at all?

Can you feed while lying down in bed? xXx

Kick DP/ DH out of the bed and co-sleep perhaps? Worked wonders with DS, who used to cry alot at night. He just wanted to snuggle in bed.

First of all, just wanted to reassure you that this won't last forever. It sounds like your own lack of sleep is understandably making it harder for you to cope with her, try to make sure you get as much sleep as possible at any time of the day!

Many new babies are like this, I found my ds very difficult for the first 6 days, but by 3-4 weeks it was much better. Everyone finds a way that suits them and their baby, so be prepared to try a few things. For us what worked was feeding on demand but noting down feed times and feeding him roughly every 3-4 hours during the day whether he seemed to be looking for it or not. This meant that I was gently adjusting his sleep patterns so that he couldn't sleep all day. Gradually we noticed a routine forming, and used a gentler version of a well known expert's advice to consolidate this as he got older.

At about 2-3 weeks (I think, i can't actually remember!) I used my own type of sleep training (we never co slept) which I"ve now realised is called gentle withdrawal, maybe do a search? Once he was settled we put him into his own room (at about 7 weeks, he'd been napping there right from the start) and found that this improved his sleeping (and ours) even further.

As I said, everyone is different, so wait till wiser people come along, get loads of ideas and see what works for you.

formula won;t help at this stage.....and you are making more work with sterilising and making up bottles, which you dont need if you are tired!!

try feeding lying down and feed as much as baby wants,,,,

this phase ,as has been said, does not last for ever..the first few weeks are a whirl of feeding and changing and no sleep ! whether breast or bottle.

is she struggling to get her wind up?

try gently massaging her tum anticlockwise

might also be having a little growth spurt too

hang on in there,,,she will settle xx

i would try swaddling if you don't already. with DS that, or later being in a sleepbag, helped with the waking up startled. good luck.

your baby may be going thru a growth spurt hence the hrly feeding. just feed. this is how you build up your milk supply. formula will hinder this process. your baby needs cuddles and your warmth, smell and listening to your heartbeat. not any form of sleep training. just a short while ago he got all these things 24 hrs a day and a constant food supply. sleep training of any sort is not recommended for a baby this young.

try swaddling and co-sleeping. if you search my username and swaddling in the sleep threads, you should find a link to a pdf document on how to swaddle. its in german but it has pictures on the 3rd page i think.

also search google for 'baby friendly initiative, co-sleeping'.

Thank you for your reassurance - I am just in pieces at the end of nights like that one - thinking if I am really up to this and if i am strong enough to deal with it it is good to hear that this phase does not last and what you are saying makes sense. She is really upset by swaddling but I will persevere - she is out for the count now as usual -everything seems round the wrong way. DH is in the other room as he is at work . No one said it was going to be this hard!

nope, no one says the early days are so hard. go get some sleep yourself. don't waste your time trying to cook or clean or make a good impression. when others drop in to see the baby/you, get them to go make themselves a cup of tea and and get them to make you a sandwich too.

if you go to www.kellymom.com and search 'growth spurt' 'sleep' 'early days' etc, you'll find loads of useful information to help you cope.

try to feed her as much as possible during the day it will help to reverse her sleep pattern.

here is a link to a thread with the link i mentioned earlier.

this link also is a good read. it mentions the book 'baby bliss' by dr harvey karp which was a godsend to me for dealing with the early days. worth sending your dh to buy from a bookshop today or order online.

You are all so kind thank you so much

only doing it 'cause my early days were the pits.

I took mine for afternoon walks as I read that the natural light helped reset their body clocks. It's good to get out anyway.
The early days are so hard, the whole process of getting used to this entirely new person who only wants you, it's demanding and draining. Remember you're also changing from who you were before into a mother and it can be a huge psychological journey. Take care of yourself. Never stand if you can sit, never just sit if you can lie down, and whenever you can close your eyes and have a kip. Make sure you have pleny of things you can eat with one hand, bananas, biscuits, chocolate
All the very best, it doesn get better pretty quickly but feels like an age when you're in the middle of it.

Lubella, you're not alone, we've all been there and it is still really early days for you. I thought the first three weeks were an absolute nightmare and I had emotional meltdown nearly every day. My lo was exactly the same and suffered terrible wind problems. You could try infacol but I don't think it worked for me. What you're experiencing at the moment is just temporary although it feels like forever when you're going through it. Hang in there. I spent the first 6 weeks in absolute agony with feeding so it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job. Just remember that it's all new for her and she's learning too .

ginger you have just made me cry - your words mean a hell of a lot sincerely, so glad to hear I am not alone in finding this utterly overwhelming

There is hardly a mother alive who hasn't gone through this very difficult early stage and most of us have wondered if we can cope or are a good enough mother. However they do all settle at some point and you will look back with an element of nostalgia and amazement that you did cope. Keep using MN for support and following advice that feels right for you. Good luck.

You have a good cry, I've never cried so much in my whole life. You can often find me walking up the road having a good sob, my neighbours must think I'm a loon!
I think motherhood is the hardest job in the world. I don't think anything can prepare you for the massive emotional journey which parenthood brings. I now understand what people mean when they say your life will never be the same again.
Keep smiling