Can't cope and don't know what to do

[Ilovecrumpets]

Hi everyone

Just writing for some ideas really. I have two DC aged 1 and 4. My husband is away at the moment for 6 weeks and will be on and off for the next 7 months. I have PND and anxiety which is triggered by lack of sleep.

My 1 year old has been waking at 3.30 am every morning. If I try to resettle him he screams so loudly he wakes the 4 year old who then won't go back to sleep. I had been resorting to putting him in bed with me where he jumps around for an hour and eventually goes to sleep. I don't sleep well like that ( my anxiety makes it difficult to go back to sleep) but it is almost manageable. However now my 4 year old is jealous of the co sleeping and is constantly waking - he won't go to sleep in bed with me ( never has) plus me getting out of bed wakes the 1 year old. Have been awake since 1 am this morning and am reaching the point where I just can't cope with this anymore. I work 4 days and they have a nanny but other than that I have no-one who can help me at all.

My nanny is also a sleep trainer and would sleep train the little one ( I can get the 4 year old back on track if I am able to deal just with him). It would mean cc at the 3.30 wake up. I can't bear the thought of this but at the same time can't go on like this anymore. I just don't know what to do

Pay your nanny to sleep train the little one. It may seem hard but you will be a much happier mummy if you have some decent sleep and will be able to cope so much better.
It sounds like things are really tough. Something clearly needs to change to help you get well again.

Hi OP, Ive been there, on my own but only with 1 child who didnt sleep until age 2.

Does 1 year old want a drink when they wake? Mine wanted one & it settled back of straight away.

Could you get a bed guard, & just put 1 year old in all night? ( I still do this )

Does 1 year old need to go to sleep a tiny bit earlier/later?

Is 4 year old in a toddler bed? Could the bed go in your room?

I know some suggestions might sound awful, but Im just trying to think how you can all get a full nights sleep.

Thank you both for replying, I really do appreciate it.

My eldest is in a single but I had thought of getting a cot bed mattress to put on the floor - I think though that he still wouldn't sleep as he would want to be in the bed with me and DC2. I also worry about creating bad sleep habits in him again ( he was a terrible sleeper for a long while). The co sleeping seems to really increase his jealously of my DC2 and he is missing his dad. If the youngest wasn't such a light sleeper it wouldn't be so bad but we end up in this awful cycle of everyone waking each other.

I think I will have to sleep train my little DC which makes me so sad. He is such a sunny, happy boy and so good. I wish I could cope better with it all so I didn't have to do this. My only hope is that as the waking is recent ( my (D)H looked after him when I was ill after Christmas and started putting him in bed when he woke) it maybe can be sorted quickly.

Sorry for the train of thought ramble

Hello everyone I have a little girl who is 11 months she used to be an ok sleeper only waking once for a feed but now as she's got older she's a nightmare waking up at 1am and not going back to sleep till 5am I'm them up with my other 2 children at 7am for them to go to school etc I'm so tired I don't know what to do with myself she's not even sleeping a lot in the day so i can't even nap when she naps any advice would be grateful thank you