How do you do baby whisperer method if baby still cries when picked up??

[MumToAPiglet]

my 17 week dd is getting worse and worse at sleeping. she has to be fed or rocked to sleep and has started waking several times a night and needing feeding/rocking. 50% of time she wakes as soon as we put her down again.

don't want to do cc but want to try baby whisperer pick up then put down method. however tracey hogg says pick-up, comfort and lie down as soon as crying stops. if i do not feed her then the crying continues for up to 30mins of rocking. any ideas how to make this method work for us??? me and dh are desperate!

She's too young to try and control.
If she cries,she needs you.
As simple as that.

My first thought was your baby is too young for this method. Maybe look at her routine as to how much sleep and milk she is having in the day, and at this age it is quite normal to be still waking in the night for feeds. I know that isn't much help if you want to carry on the method but I just wanted to try and help with a different angle.

My DD is 17 weeks and has recently got worse at night, waking a couple of times in the night for feeds.
I've tried various thinkgs in the hope she'll sleep better but I have to agree with moondog that it seems she is too young to control. I've tried dummies and 'shusshing' but she just gets more worked up - its easier to just feed her it only takes 10 mins and she normally settles back down nicely.
Sorry not much help but just know your not on your own

Also, I would have thought that at 17 weeks they mostly want a feed because they are hungry and not because of needing comfort.

she's too young to try and train to sleep with pick up put down, she just needs you and may well be hungry and need to feed

the thing is that for five days last week she was happily sleeping 7pm-6am without waking at all. i appreciate she may be growing and thus hungrier and i am happy to feed her once or twice a night if she now needs it. however last night she woke about 9 times even though i fed her at 7pm, 11pm, 2am and 4am she kept waking. you cannot tell me it was still hunger. also she wakes when we put her down after feeding, or when i detach her and cries until rocked to sleep again. i need her to learn to put herself back to sleep when she just wakes as part of her sleep cycle and i need her to learn how to go to sleep without a nipple in her mouth as i find it impossible to sleep while bf. is she really too young for baby whisperer? why? and what can i do instead as we cannot carry on like last night

Mumtopiglet, I have a 14 week old that I tried BW on for a few days while I tried to get rid of the dummy with the pick up put down and shush pat methods. I think they are great ideas however after three days of her screaming for upto an hour each time because she didn't know how to get back to sleep after waking from her first sleep cycle, and her eczema getting worse due to the stress I caved in and gave her the dummy back as it was too distressing to see her so upset. I think they're great methods if you start from the begining but I couldn't get it to work for me. Is it possible that your dd just wants to suckle for comfort? If so have you considered a dummy? She may baulk at the idea at first but keep trying. The only reason I tried to get rid of mine was that it kept popping out and I'd have to put it back in but I'd rather pop it in two or three times an evening than have her so distressed.

Thanks for all your comments last night. I took on board the suggestion that she was too young and did a toned down version of PU/PD. I put her down and picked her up as soon as she cried each time then after 5 times I introduced some sush/pat and a lovey (from the no cry sleep solution) which I have been trying to get her to attach to for a week or so. It is a soft yellow duck and on the 5th put down I gave it to her and she started chewing/sucking it and I stayed by her side sushing and after 15mins she was asleep . She woke two hours later and would not suck the duck so I tried a a dummy (even though she has always spat them out before). As long as the duck was stroking her face she was happy to suck the dummy but whenever she fell asleep it would fall out and wake her. However after about 25 min she was deeply asleep and I removed the dummy. She then slept 5.5 hours until 3am and woke for a feed. After the feed I put her down awake and she put herself to sleep without a peep! She then slept to 8am!!!!

It was the first night and might have been a fluke and I might be wrong to introduce a dummy but right now I am v v happy.

Thanks again.

Excellent!!!! NOT wrong to introduce a dummy - It's a way that a baby can learn to self soothe and it can really pacify a sucky baby so pleased it went so well - long may it continue!!!!

Mum,

I just wanted to say we are in exactly the same boat with 19 week ds. He wakes as soon as his head hits the mattress.

Let me know how your lo is and if she is still sleeping ok. If so I may give pu/pd a go. Theres only so much wakings I can cope with.

Hi Kbaby

I totally no what you mean about there being only so many wakings one can cope with. I don't mind waking and feeding but then to have DD awake 10mins later because I just put her down is too much.

Well last night was our second night of no feeding/no rocking. Because of our success on night one with the soft duck and the dummy I did not really do PU/PD last night. In case its useful to know what I did do her it goes:

I put her to bed at 6.30pm in her grobag tucked into the end of the cot so she cannot wriggle too much. She started to cry so I put the dummy in and gave her the duck and shushed. She only cried for about 30seconds but then she was wide awake and playing with the duck. I kept shushing and holding the dummy in. After 15 mins and no real crying (but some moaning and wriggling) she dropped off. I stayed holding the dummy in for another 15mins as she woke each time it started to fall out. I was downstairs by 6.50pm. She then woke at 9.45pm and it took over an hour of holding the dummy in and shushing and giving her the duck. Again no real crying but some moaning. Also she kept being wide awake and wanting to play with the duck. I let her play in the dark but did not join in - just shushed and made sure the dummy did not fall out. Sometimes she fell asleep and woke five mins later. Finally she was deeply asleep by 11.15pm She then slept to 1am and this time really cried so I fed her. I then put her down wide awake and she was holding the duck and giggling. I did not give her the dummy but left her playing and she put herself to sleep after 15mins!! She then slept to 6.30am when I bought her into our bed and fed her to sleep again until 8.45.

So not a terrible night but not brilliant as she was wide awake and wanting to play sometimes. It took a lot of shushing snd dummy holding. What I do feel really positive about is she is learning to put herself to sleep and yet I have not had to put her through real crying. So I feel we are getting somewhere without risking her happiness.

Does your DS take a dummy? DD never would before but I bought her a NUK dummy and persevered and it seems to be working as a transitional arrangement.

Sorry that was a bit long and does not help you with PU/PD . Good luck with DS.

Hi yes he does have a dummy and ive been trying to put him down drowsy, and stand by the cot sshing but he looks as if hes dropping off and then springs his eyes open and starts crying and once he starts crying no amount of sshing will settle him. He will only be happy then if I pick him up. I guess well just have to keep trying as its the not settling after feeds that im finding hard.

thanks

A useful tip I found helpful was when my son was in my arms I put a muslin over my arm so that his head was resting on that and not my naked flesh.

If I put him in the cot all sleepy (this was whilst he was around 16 weeks - he had severe reflux so I was kangaroo parenting until then) he would still have the warm muslin under his head instead of a cool mattress. Stops them jolting awake when their head hits the cot. They go from your nice warm body to a cool sheet!! Plus it smells of you so acts as a lovely.

wont it be a suffocation risk though

Hi, I'm new to the board so quick probably stupid question - what do you mean by PU/PD? In by BW book I think she suggests picking the baby up when she cries in cot and then putting her down when soothed, but she def says this should be done as early as possible. My DD is 5 weeks and it's very difficult to get her to sleep in her basket. I'm really happy to kangaroo parent, and was trying this (with sling) because she cries so much, but was just getting no sleep and it's not sustainable for me. At the moment I'm trying to get her to sleep in the basket but pick her up and try to soothe her as soon as she cries, then put her down when calm. The problem is, like the first post, she can cry for ages before being soothed, so even when she does go down it can take well over an hour or two to get her to sleep and she then wakes up hungry quite quickly because it has taken so long. Quite often we think she has wind, although all health professionals dismiss this because she's breastfed. My partner thinks I am over feeding her and perpetuating the cycle, but it's hard for me not to try to feed her if cryi8ng in case hunger is the cause. In the day I wait quite a while before trying to get her to sleep after feeding as it seems lying flat too quickly adds to the wind. Sorry, this has turned out to be a long post! Any ideas gratefully received!

Racheltol, for so called health professional to say your baby doesn't have wind because she's breastfed is total rubbish. The theory is that they're less likely to get wind but any mum who has breastfed would tell you that they still get it. My DD is breastfed and has ezcema, has had 2 colds and suffered terrible wind, all the things she's supposed to be protected against so be reassured that it is possible. Does she draw her knees up and squirm? That's wind. Took me weeks to understand my LO's body language (I still struggle) but your DD could be overtired or overstimulated. Some of the signs are very similar to other needs ie chewing fists like they're hungry, they also often arch their backs which may seem like wind but could mean they just want to be put down. The PU /PD method (pick up /put down)the baby whisperer uses isn't recommended for babies under 3 months because it's too stimulating. Have you tried the shush/pat while she's in her cot? I couldn't get the PU/PD to work for my little one but I didn't start until about 3 months so it was totally new to both of us and I admit I gave up after a few days.

I had the same situation with my baby and she was regularly putting on about 10 to 13lb per week so it could be that she's windy and wants to suck to get rid of the wind and therefore making the situation worse. You could introduce a dummy. So long as you try the feeding option first so you're not limiting her access to milk and she's stimulating your milk supply then it should be fine. I gave my little one at 9 weeks once I was assured we both knew what we were doing with feeding and my milk supply was well established.
Hope that helps