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Sleep

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Original poster

How do you not feed to sleep when breastfeeding in middle of night?

39 replies

Lilipot15 · 08/12/2015 07:01

Just that really!
My six month old wakes frequently. Settles with a feed. I can only assume she needs night feeds still because of age, minimal solids and very distractible daytime feeds.

I feed in dark, she usually falls asleep on the breast! I have read to avoid feeding to sleep but how??

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Original poster

Lilipot15 · 08/12/2015 14:32

It's at least given me some reassurance that I'm not the only one. She goes into such a nice sleep after a feed and I've never really seen that "awake but drowsy" that I can't bring myself to rouse her to put in cot.
Last night I walked around room with her on my shoulder as if waiting for wind to see if she woke but no no avail. She even slept through me on a fairly loud work phone call about 10pm!

Don't worry though anyone feeling envious, she has her moments some nights of shrieking with pure joy at being awake, especially if she needs a nappy change and on a more normal night usually wakes at end of each sleep cycle.....

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Pyjamaramadrama · 08/12/2015 14:40

Aw how adorable. In that case I don't think I'd wake her.

I'm a bit meh about good habits and bad habits. My aims are to enjoy my baby as much as possible because it goes quickly and to get as much sleep as possible whichever way I can.

If a baby can sleep soundly after a feed or in mum and dads bed, how can it be wrong?

At the same time if someone's not enjoying feeding to sleep or it's not working I don't think that they should feel guilty about trying something else.

museumum · 08/12/2015 14:44

If you want to stop gently then Elizabeth Pantley in No Cry Sleep Solution basically says take them off the nipple when they start to drift off, if they cry put them back on, if they don't put them down.... slowly slowly (over weeks) you remove them earlier and earlier until eventually sometimes just giving them a cuddle is enough.
It's such a gradual process that it's impossible to tell if it 'works' or if the baby is just developing over time anyway but I liked it, it worked for me, I hated sleeping with nipple in ds's mouth, I needed to be able to roll over onto my tummy and move freely in order for me to sleep.

Original poster

Lilipot15 · 08/12/2015 14:47

Yep, it's tricky as it was working really well cosleeping but it's this need to hang onto the nipple that is getting uncomfy. I guess if she would accept a dummy it could take its place. But for now, I'll carry on with what's working. Going to keep trying to put her in the cot for at least the first few hours though.
She's likely to be my last baby so I may as well just enjoy the snuggles and night feeds!

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Artandco · 08/12/2015 14:47

Don't get me wrong, I still co sleep with my 5 year old! I just found after a few days of resettling without they generally didn't wake

In your case I would dream feed at 11pm and see how long you can go setting them
Without feeding, maybe trying to hold out 3hrs first

Original poster

Lilipot15 · 08/12/2015 15:01

Art - how do you resettle them thought without a feed?
I've not done dreamfeeds as she wakes so frequently anyway I've just decided to go with it and feed when she wakes which is often around 12ish. Might be worth a go at a dreamfeed though, although I'm often asleep early doors myself!!

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Original poster

Lilipot15 · 08/12/2015 15:03

Museumum, I am in the process of reading Elizabeth Pantley's book but I haven't got up to that section yet so that's really helpful thanks! I'm not even sure I've got the energy to do the logs she recommends....useful resource if I do decide I really "need to do something about it". I do know from my not yet 2 year old that sleep goes in real phases and time passes quickly.

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gillyweed · 08/12/2015 15:07

Hmmmm it's tough! With my first I just fed her to sleep but I think we got in am awful sleep/feed cycle that took an eternity to fix!

With my second, I sat up to feed (which meant I was awake and not feeding lying down!), after I would always hold him upright on my shoulder and wind for 5-10 mins, then lay him down either asleep or sleepy and put the same lullaby (still going strong 1yr in!) On every time.

Sadly, I don't really think it had much to do with me or my technique, more the kid; food/milk, comfort and sleep requirements. first still loves snuggles and being in my bed, 2nd lives sleep and does not like being comforted!

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 08/12/2015 15:17

I think it's bullshit personally. I breast fed DS until he self weaned at a year and he would wake in the night to feed, I'd feed him, he'd sleep, I'd go back to sleep. One night he stopped waking for a feed, my boobs had a fit lol and after that he always slept through and still does now at three.

Trust your child, throw the books away.

TheEagle · 08/12/2015 15:26

On DS1 I had all these grand plans that I'd just stop feeding him back to sleep during the night and "train" him.

Then I was just too lazy and kept doing it because it worked and we all slept.

DTs don't feed back to sleep during the night and it's SO MUCH harder.

If it works for you, just do it. It won't be forever, DS1 self weaned at 13mo when I was pregnant. He just stopped feeding one night and accepted a cuddle back to sleep instead.

Artandco · 08/12/2015 17:03

Lili - we just had them in our bed so would stroke their face, rub their back, sing softly to them. Dh did it the first week we stopped
To break the habit, then we took turns if they woke. If sick/ really unsettled we would feed obviously.

Dream feeds are good as break the association of waking for food as you wake them

Fugghetaboutit · 08/12/2015 17:36

Beats rocking to sleep too

starfish12 · 08/12/2015 19:01

I love this thread! I just feed my DS back to sleep every time he wakes which like OP can be at the end of every sleep cycle. If he responded to singing/face stroking id try that but hes a huge ball of energy and takes a lot to calm him down (ie excessive rocking!) Some days it does my head in, others I think he's my last baby and won't be doing it forever, plus if it works who cares...?! I'm actually feeling more rested from blurry nights of feed/put down than actually being up thru the night. He goes to sleep on his own after a feed before bed so technically he can settle himself.
I strongly believe that all babies do things when they are ready. DS1 went from waking 6 times a night demanding boob to get back to sleep one night to finding his thumb and sleeping 12 hrs the next night. Really fucking wish that would happen again but not likely!

Ughnotagain · 08/12/2015 20:48

starfish that's what I'm thinking, it's not forever. She's my baby, she needs me in the night! She has started sucking her thumb sometimes when she's awake though so who knows, that might take over. I know it'd take much longer to settle her with cuddling/rocking than with boob so I'll stick with it for now!

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