9 week old won't sleep, or stay asleep

[Skiptonlass1]

Ds is nine weeks old and does not want to sleep. If I do get him to drop off he won't stay asleep. The world is just too interesting

Today he's been awake from .. Well... He's not really been asleep in the night either :) but let's say 6 am. I've managed to get him to drop off a few times but he stays asleep no longer than five mins or so then wakes up.

Any ideas? I've tried boring him to sleep, I don't reward wake ups with instant food or attention, I try to give him a few minutes to settle if he's grizzly although I don't leave him too long and I go to him immediately if he's genuinely crying

I don't feed him straight on waking ( nappy change or gentle cuddle whilst not interacting)

I've tried long walks in the pram, everything... Help!!

He hates the sling, before anyone mentions that. ;) the few times I've managed to coax him into it he's screamed his head off. I genuinely don't see how you can get anything done with them strapped to your front anyway.. They are so in the way!!

I'm about to go insane from having no time to myself to do anything. Help.

Sorry my first post was a bit garbled I'm a bit sleep deprived!

Both of mine screamed until they vomited when I tried aussiemama's suggestions. I think I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life about the time I tried pat-shushing DS1 for a scream-filled hour when he was three months old because I was so desperate for a bit of child-free time. He was also a total dummy-refuser. Trying to hold it in his mouth made the screaming get louder quicker.

DS2, on the other hand, was settle-able with a dummy and that, plus a wrap sling, were the only way he'd nap with DS1 around, since he wouldn't entertain a cot/pram/basket, nor was I in a position to park in front of the TV with a two year old to look after. Ditch the Baby Bjorn (awful slings, terrible ergonomically, and unusable past about four months old) and try the wrap sling again maybe? You really do need to find someone to show you how to get it on properly, though. Baby needs to be high and tight, and it can be difficult to get the leg position right without being shown. Do you really not have a sling meet/librarian/consultant anywhere nearby? I lived in very, very rural Wales for a while and there was one there.

YY to what captainproton said about possible CMPI as well.

@elphaba that's fair enough. It may not suit all babies but just thought I'd give OP some options. It really does get easier but having having had PND with my first and general anxiety this routine helped me.

Ftm so not mega experience but things that are currently working with my dummy-refusing Velcro 4 week old baby:

Caboo close sling- she friccin loves it but will cry when I put her in it for a bit but will literally nod off mid cry.

She also loves my little finger- managed to nap today by lying on the bed (usual co sleeping rules -no duvet or blankets etc) with her post feed and letting her suck that, I find that closing my eyes rather than watching her makes her fall asleep quicker?! I guess in the way that they mirror you sticking out your tongue or whatever.. That's my theory anyway.

It does sound like things are pretty bad though and I know it's frustrating when people say "just sit on the sofa with him and watch Netflix" etc, i just want to be able to eat something other that biscuits and go for a wee!

The sling has really revolutionised things for me cos I can actually tidy up a bit and brush my hair and eat and just generally feel a bit more human! All while she sleeps soundly on me.

I keep trying a dummy but I find it just wakes her up more in frustration when she was just getting sleepy and takes us back to square one, I now only try it when I can hack the constant spitting, she has taken it sometimes but seems to forget how to suck it again.

Can l just add re the dummy dd1 was a refuser no matter what and now sucks her thumb. With dd2 l have to tap the base with my nail while gently holding it in which seems to encourage her to suck it.

FTM here too so may be stating the bleedin obvious but at that age my baby would cry for at least 10 minutes just before he fell asleep. He wasn't overtired, that was just his "thing". Are you working through the crying or giving up as you think baby doesn't like whatever you're doing? You may need to persevere for up to an hour with an overtired baby. Swaddle, dark quiet room, gentle rock, pat or shush. You will need to resettle, resettle, resettle as your baby will be beyond tired now. Good luck, being a new parent is incredibly difficult, you mustn't ever feel that your baby not sleeping is your fault, unfortunately some bright little babies are just more "difficult" than others

Oh and just to add, life will be a lot more pleasant for you both if you just accept that you may be stuck on the sofa for the next couple of weeks, however "grim" that is. Your baby has to come first for now.

Can I second the cows milk intolerance / allergy suggestion. My nephew would also bring back up the entire feeds when he had formula and was eventually diagnosed with dairy allergy. He was a terrible napper - would be awake for hours and always wake up after only about 10 minutes asleep no matter what my sister did. Think it might be worth investigating? His napping got much better once that was sorted.

Good luck. Babies are bloody hard. Mind is 4 months and I am no where near to cracking cot naps!

Well, we had a better nights sleep last night. Decided not to co-sleep but to put him in the crib. He slept for five hours straight so maybe we were waking him up before? He is a much happier little guy this morning

I asked about tt and intolerances at the baby clinic and was met with blank looks and dismissiveness...

I will try the sling for longer, definitely. I think I was a bit defeated by how much he seemed to hate it (the really upset crying rather than the normal pissed off crying.)

And a question about the bouncy chairs - I got him to sleep ( but not stay asleep) in his yesterday- is it ok to let them nap in them? His isn't reclinable and is at about 45 degrees. He seemed a little slumped in it to be honest.

No I wouldnt let him sleep in the bouncer.
Glad you got a better night OP. If he slept well in his cot, will he nap in there in the day?
If you're still willing to try the sling, I recommend the connecta! Aldo bring uptight will help massively with reflux if that's what he has,

Hmmm... I'm loathe to put him down in the cot in case I don't hear him . He'd be upstairs and our house is very well sound insulated - time to get a baby monitor perhaps!

I'll definitely persevere with the sling. I love the idea of not having to lug around a massive buggy and them just falling asleep in it. The reality was more us both being annoyed and hot but I reckon we will get used to it.

Bouncy chairs are pretty normal for daytime napping in. Babies shouldn't be left unsupervised in a bouncy chair, which makes it unsuitable for night time. No significant differences in terms of risk to sleeping in a carseat or pushchair.

The risk comes from baby trying to twist/turn/sit up and so the harness being a strangulation risk. Hence if not left unsupervised - perfectly fine.

It becomes less appropriate as you approach 6 months but by about 5 months I have found naps naturally lengthen and transitioning to cot naps is much easier.

Bouncy chairs are fantastic for daytime sleep.

• Getting baby to sleep is easier with a bouncy chair.
• Getting baby to stay asleep and sleep for longer is easier
• Resettling to lengthen naps is easier
• Plus it means you get to relax on the sofa while baby sleeps in front of you.

Most tiny babies like movement for sleep. Lots of Mums like provide that movement by walking, jigging, swaying with baby in a sling. That's fine if you want to do that. Lots of other Mums like to rock baby in their arms and like baby to sleep on their lap. Some Mums drive in the carseat. Some walk with a pushchair. Personally, I have always preferred the bouncy chair. But the principles of movement to aid sleep is the same with all of these.

Do what works for you and baby.

His isn't reclinable and is at about 45 degrees

45 deg is very high. What sort of bouncy chair is it?

The Fisher Price one has a low setting and an upright setting, but changing between the two requires cover off and a screwdriver - so it is not easily adjustable. I've only ever used the fisher price one (I've bought the same bouncy chair 3 times and used for 4 children). They've changed the design now, but same structure. Obviously you remove the play arch when using for sleep.

Assuming yours is a standard V shaped metal frame, you can bend the metal to make it lower by pressing down on it (without the baby being in it!).

Lots of use of a bouncy chair makes it get lower and lower over time. It is not unusual that after a while when I realised the chair was more reclined than it should be that I'd straighten it out a bit by stretching out the V shape of the metal. The same principle in reverse can be used to flatten down the V shape.

It looks very like this one ... Eyeballing the backrest it's not far off 45 degrees, the metal frame is more like 30.

So they're OK for casual daytime napping? I'm always within a few metres of him anyway so should be ok.

Ironically, he's been sleeping like a champ today. Tricky little buggers aren't they? :)

They are all much of a muchness, bouncy chairs. Same basic design just different brand names.

I would sit on the sofa with chair in front of me, my feet in those two metal bits and bounce, bounce, bounce. Any stirring = gentle bounce back to sleep.

Initially it may mean a fair amount of bouncing but if you keep the view that overtime you'll reduce ye bouncing, by the time you get to 5 or 6 months or so I could just put dd in chair with dummy and it only a minute or two bouncing to settle to sleep. Then just into chair with dummy to trigger sleep, then just dummy to get to sleep and so that's when we moved to cot daytime naps. For us that was 5 months and that's when the bouncy chair was put away.

If you look at the basic engineering of the metal structure, you'll see that the more you bounce on those bits if frame, the flatter it will get over time. So you could just put a bit of weight on it too push it down

Oh and yes, fine for daytime napping as long as not left unsupervised for big chunks of time.

Ds had reflux and cmpa, and slept in a bouncy chair exactly like your one above,
Day and night until he was 9 months. It was literally the only way my mental health would have survived. I've learned that being a parent is about survival!

Our bouncy chair had a vibrate setting, that worked better than most other things.

Cheers!

He's looking particularly perky and awake so I'll give the chair a try tonight