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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

it cant be normal for a baby to fight sleep this much. help!

53 replies

spillyobeans · 03/12/2015 12:57

Ok, so some of you may have seen me on the 4 month sleep regression board, but i am convinced this is not it as he has been like this from 3 months and he is now 6 months.

Ds fights sleep like you wouldnt believe. He can quite easily go 8+ hours without a nap, and then when he does go down it will sometimes only be for 10 mins. After posting a thread and having got some ideas i thought maybe he was over tired and started to try and put him down earlier, this hasnt helped and just means im trying for longer.

Things i have tried:
-rocking
Patting back
Pick up put down
Singing
Breastfeeding to sleep (works 50% of time but you cannot remove him from boob at all and he will not take a dummy at all)
-white noise
-caming music
-baby tv
-walking round in pram (from 3 months up until now this is the only way he would sleep but has just stopped this as well)
-sling
-laying in cot awake and drowsy
-swaddling
-checking if hes too hot or too cold
-clean nappy and no rash

Nothing works, its at the point now that i will start trying to put him down from 6-7 and he will not go down untill 2am. He then wakes at 4, is up for 2 hours and then had another 2. And thats it! That cannot be normal! Sometimes he will have a 2 nap between 11 and 4ish sometimes not.

Has anyone had a sleeper this bad? Did it eventually resolve??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fluffikins · 04/12/2015 20:15

When all else fails co sleeping saves us here. Tell your Dh to shut up unless he can magically make him sleep!

Junoandthepeacock · 04/12/2015 20:23

Honestly.

Just put him down to sleep! Let the child sleep for god's sake!
Rocking, feeding?
Would you go to sleep if you were being fawned over?
Leave the child in his cot.

rudolphistheboss · 04/12/2015 20:32

My ds sounds like your's OP it turns out he has a dairy allergy and was reacting to the dairy in my diet. He was basically ebf til 12 months bar the odd snack and never slept longer than an hour. He used to throw himself about like a zombie, he was such an unhappy little one and didn't want to be held or out down by himself.

After cutting all dairy from mine and his diets he now sleeps 6.30-1130ish, quick bf then back down til 6.30ish. This has only started the last couple of weeks and he is 13 1/2 months old.

Could dairy allergy/ intolerance be a factor for your lo?

AppleAndBlackberry · 04/12/2015 20:35

Have you ever tried Calpol to see if it's pain related? My 2nd child was a bad sleeper when she was teething.

nottheop · 04/12/2015 21:12

By sticking to the routine it's going for the routine you want so even if they don't sleep and just play with their toes they will get the idea if you're consistent. I only go back in if they're distressed.

Sparrowlegs248 · 04/12/2015 22:23

I don't think OP has a baby than you can just put down to sleep Juno I certainly don't. How i would love to just put him down to sleep.

GoodStuffAnnie · 04/12/2015 22:33

What do you mean you can't get him in a sleeping bag?

starfish12 · 05/12/2015 07:06

I get the consistent bit but what if they miss the nap entirely cos they are pissing about? You just keep them going till the next nap and risk 6 hrs awake time....?

Original poster

spillyobeans · 05/12/2015 20:58

Had to laugh at junos comment. Oh yes because i havnt tried just putting him down, silly me! If i put him down (either tired and happy or tired and grumpy) he will either lie happy for up to 30 mins then gradually get more and more worked up till his screeching and literally throwing his legs around so much he turns himself 360, and thats not by rolling. I cant put him in a sleeping bag or grow bag and he doesnt like it and makes him kick his legs about it frustration and he crys. Have given calpol when i think hes sore, sometimes helps abit and sometimes doesnt.

Also about the co sleeping thing, dh is a paramedic and has got a couple of sids cases so i can understand why he is against it tbh.

Thanks for the advice, over last few days i have been trying the routine of getting up abd 2h later starting nap and then 2 hours after last nap put down again and then at night, 6 bath and then boob and into really dark room and i have to admit so far the best thing is totally pitch black room - i genuinely think its helping, so fingers crossed its not a fluke! Thanks everyone!

OP posts:

Original poster

spillyobeans · 05/12/2015 21:00

Notheop i was going to ask same as starfish - what if you do routine solid and they just wont sleep in your allocated slot?

OP posts:

HeiressesGiltnor · 05/12/2015 21:17

I got through the 4 month sleep regression by dedicating a few weeks to sorting out the routine.

2,3,4 like others have said, is really good. It worked for us even though my son only ever napped for 45 minutes max.

If he'll BF to sleep and stay asleep on you, then do this for a good week or so until the routine is 'set'. Just let him sleep on you for his entire nap. Then you can work on helping him self settle.

I don't think a baby whose not yet used to napping or a routine will be able to self settle. And it will be hard for him to do so if he's overtired. My son is 15 months but still needs help getting off to sleep at times if he's gotten really exhausted.

Implement a routine by any way possible and tackle the over tiredness.

Baconyum · 05/12/2015 21:17

Few things occur to me, consistency is one thing. Only way you can know if something works/doesn't work I'd if you do it and nothing else for a good while, week-10 days.

However, the breastfeeding struck me too. Have his ears been checked? How was the birth?

Some people I know have had some success with poorly sleeping babies using chiropractice/Physio to counteract trapped nerves due to birth issues.

I really hope you get it resolved sounds hellish!

starfish12 · 05/12/2015 21:32

We have a really good routine whereby DS sleeps for 2 hrs in the sling for first nap then awake 2 hrs and another sling sleep for up to 2 hrs with final catnap in the car somewhere between 4 and 5pm. Today I put him in his cot in the dark with white noise... he thrashed around the cot for 45 mins getting steadily more distressed. I had to get him out and revert to the sling in the end. He knew he was tired as per our routine but just couldn't do it in the cot... he likes the motion in think. So I just don't get how you do the routine with them in the cot..? I try to ssshh him, patting annoys him or he just tries to eat my hand and he's just so active he can't lie still

Original poster

spillyobeans · 05/12/2015 21:37

Starfish this is ne too but with pram or carseat and not sling. Its like he needs movement to get him to drift off

OP posts:

Original poster

spillyobeans · 05/12/2015 21:39

Baconyum- good point, and funny as i did get his ears checked the other day at docs (unrelated and before your post) but they were fine. But trapped nerve etc is something i woukd never have thought of. He was ventouse delivery, 2 days after birth very sleepy and then totally fine. Up untill about 2 month he slept fine too. Solid 4 then feed then 6 hours. Sob.

OP posts:

Jelly101 · 05/12/2015 21:58

Are you me OP. I'm having this problem with my 7month old DS. He's a rubbish sleeper, constantly overtired, refuses to sleep in the day and when he does it lasts for about 10-15 minutes. I really don't know what to do anymore!

We put him down about 7ish with him crying, screaming and fighting sleep. When he ever tally settles, he wakes up a minimum of 4 times before midnight. And then numerous times in the night.

He can be screaming one minute and then when me or DP go into him, he starts laughing and giggling. After we mange to settle him, he starts crying as soon as we leave the room.

Original poster

spillyobeans · 05/12/2015 22:07

Jelly atleast we are not alone in our struggles...

My ds crys wether im next to him or i leave. Actually sometimes my presence can make him worse

OP posts:

Original poster

spillyobeans · 05/12/2015 22:09

Today he had a nap at 12, then at 3, went down at 8, slept for an hour and is now half awake half asleep and crying and is going on and off boob

OP posts:

Jelly101 · 05/12/2015 22:16

The novelty wears off after a couple of minutes and he's soon back to crying again. He just can't settle at all. I've tried everything. He's constantly running his eyes and I know that he must be exhausted. But he just refuses to sleep

Original poster

spillyobeans · 05/12/2015 22:18

Yes ds also constantly rubs eyes. And then starts the 'cough' and then the 'groan' thats his frustrated sleepy noises.

OP posts:

nottheop · 06/12/2015 00:03

I would persevere for the full 90 minutes and then if they refuse to nap wait until the next nap. Don't go into the room unless they're upset and even then go in every 5 minutes & only reassure rather than settle. Aim to be in the room for 30-60 seconds only.

For the babies that have a sling/pram association if you are consistent they will reset this quickly. You basically need to stop doing the old way for them to forget it.

Basically it's going to be a shit week but should improve quickly. Babies are fast learners.

Original poster

spillyobeans · 06/12/2015 00:05

Ive been trying the cot for 3 months

Will try and do it again but with everything else and see if it helps!

OP posts:

Sparrowlegs248 · 06/12/2015 06:05

I don't know if this will help, and we certainly aren't anywhere near cot naps yet, but i have managed to move away from the sling.

I was worried about lack of naps so tried hard to get naps anyway possible. Usually car or feeding to sleep on me, and sling. He was in the sling to go to sleep evening, every night. Slept for an hour or so then i could gently transfer to bounce chair. Trouble was then i had to get him readyvfor bed - nappy and sleeping bag at minimum - which meant waking him. Bad back and general exhaustion meant i had to ditch the sling so i just started taking him upstairs and feeding then laying on the bed. He was used to sleeping at this time and so far its worked about 12 times out of 14. He needs to go much earlier than you'd think - 4 - 5pm. I spend about an hour with him and put white noise on for a couple of hours. Wakes around 8/9 for an hour so we get ready for bed then and i go back to bed with him. Its just occurred to me that after almost 4 months of slung sleeping every evening, we haven't done it for a fortnight.

Sparrowlegs248 · 06/12/2015 06:08

I think my next move will be into the cot for this evening nap/sleep as it worries me him being on the bed. Will be harder to settle him but hopefully he will be used to sleeping at that time.

Then i will work on the daytime naps!

nottheop · 07/12/2015 15:33

How are you doing spillyobeans?

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