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Sleep

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Original poster

No Hair No Sleep

12 replies

calebsmum · 11/12/2006 14:53

My 21mth old DS is a nightmare when it comes to sleeping. It takes on average at least an hour to settle him in the evening and then he wakes up between 12-3am and we end up co-sleeping or getting no sleep at all. When I settle him in the evening he insists on having a handful of my hair, I then have to wait until he's fast asleep before untangling it from his hand and creeping out his room. If I go before he's asleep he starts screaming for 'head' and won't go back to sleep till i'm knelt on the floor with my head on his pillow so he can get my hair.

last night it took nearly 2hrs of hysterical screaming before we gave in and I went to bed at 9pm with DS, was the only way to settle him. Anyone got any tips on how to get him to settle by himself as this is really putting a strain on mine and DP relationship.

OP posts:

FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 11/12/2006 14:55

You're gonna throw things at me if I suggest cutting off a handful of hair aren't you?

On a more serious note... I think I'd go with controlled crying - (says she who hasn't slept for 9 months )

Original poster

calebsmum · 11/12/2006 14:59

Have thick wavy hair so anything short is a no-no unless I want to look thatched!

We've tried controlled crying 3 times now and it worked once, only for Ds to go back to screaming after a month of perfect sleeping. He has a nap between 2-3pm everyday, around 1-2hrs and is quite easy to settle. Am dreading bedtime tonight

OP posts:

FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 11/12/2006 15:02

I meant a handful to hold

I'm cr*p at sleep solutions - I didn't want you to feel unanswered though

Original poster

calebsmum · 11/12/2006 15:03

Have considered getting a long haired doll for him to sleep with?

Did feel better for seeing a reply though

OP posts:

FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 11/12/2006 15:07

Oooh - how about a kuski? Not long haired, but it takes your scent if you sleep with it first...

PinkTinsel · 11/12/2006 15:10

the thig with cc is you have to respond the same way to the screaming even if they;ve been good for a while. we did it at 12 months with dd as she simply wasn't sleeeping, some nights as little as 2 hours and it was affecting everyone.

we do the bedtime routine, bring her to bed, tuck her in and tell her we love her, then walk out, if she screams we go in once to tuck her in again and then leave her, going in roughly every 15 mins to tuck her in again. if she wakes at night we go in, tuck her in, tell her we love her and do the same. they key is absolute consistancy, she doesn't get up just because she hasn't screamed in a month!

it's horrible but the only other option is allowing him to hold your hair every night til he grows out of it!

does he have any other comfort objects in his cot? a teddy he loves or a dummy (or in dd's case 3 of the 1st and one of the second )

Original poster

calebsmum · 11/12/2006 15:13

He has a soft lavender horse in his bed which he does like but all he wants in the evenings is mummy and head. We tried controlled crying last night but he was hysterical and it took ages to calm him down, he actually made himself sick with screaming and is still hoarse today. We've obviously done something really wrong on the sleep side of things

OP posts:

FLAMEinEckItsYuleAgain · 11/12/2006 15:17

NO! You haven't done something really wrong - all children are different, and some things work for some, and some for others.

PinkTinsel · 11/12/2006 15:17

this is horrible to say and do but you don't go in and calm them down at all. dd fell asleep sitting up the first 2 nights we did it after screaming for hours

she now sleeps 12/13 hours every night with no wakings unless she has a bad dream.

if you feel you can't do it leave the house and let dh deal with it, or sit downstairs with the baby monitor barely on so you can't hear as much.

if you go in after an hour and give in you only make it worse, trust me, i made that mistake too before we made the decision to do it properly.

(btw, i'm also a caleb's mummy, he's sitting on my lap helping me type )

Original poster

calebsmum · 11/12/2006 15:24

Ooh another Caleb! always nice to know another namesake.

Being researching CC and they don't recommend it for under 3's anymore, really don't think either me or DP could do it again though TBH. Think we are both going to put our hair in buns (dp has long hair as well) and just sit next to him and soothe him instead of letting him have hair, then slowly shorten the amount of time we spend with him. Think this will suit us better, really can't bear to hear him screaming. Just hope it takes a few weeks instead of a few months!

OP posts:

PinkTinsel · 11/12/2006 15:27

good luck with it..... i hope your ds isn't as stubborn as my dd!

Original poster

calebsmum · 15/12/2006 13:30

Well it took 2hrs to settle DS last night, he slept for 20mins then woke up screaming. I ended up going to bed with him at 9.20pm but he was restless, constantly pulling my hair and shouting for 'head'. Got 3hrs sleep last night and i'm knackered. Decided today that he was not having "head" ie my hair, anymore. Just sat next to him while he was in his bed, gently stroked his arm so he knew I was there, and listened to him scream and sob for 30mins . Really want to stick to this as i'm sure it's his reliance on my hair that is causing the sleep problems. Sure I read somewhere it takes on average 10 days to break a habit?? Either way this is making me so miserable not to mention DP said he hated DS this morning , he's since taken it back, is just very sleep deprived.

OP posts:

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