I've posted a couple of times because our toddler sleep but it's come to a bit of a head.
She was having trouble going down at night so we stopped her nap. Now she's so tired at bed time that she falls asleep during a story. Much better.
However she's now waking in the night and isn't able to self settle. She's always been a great sleeper and always quite happily got herself back to sleep until now and is just inconsolable in the night. She's been toilet training (off her own back) for a fortnight and that seemed to coincide with the crappy sleeping.
She now wakes and screams until one of us goes through and asks for any number of things (I want to go to the toilet, I want to come to your bed - which she's never ever done, even as a wee baby etc). For a couple of nights DP has gone and slept in her room but it's not a long term solution obviously. She can't come into the bed with us because she's waking up our 8mo who's in the room with us and still breastfeeding.
Tonight she woke at 1am and we've done an initial comfort in her bedroom with one of us actually going in and trying to soothe her. It didn't work so we've been leaving her for ten mins (progressing to fifteen) and reassuring through the door. After two hours of doing this constantly she seems to have settled now but I'm feeling really rotten that she's essentially exhausted herself crying. 
Is reassuring from the door the best action? And, if so, how long would you keep it up in a night?
If you've done this, how long did it take them to learn to self settle again?
Please don't suggest cosleeping for ease. We've tried it a few times and with the baby still waking in the night it just seems they pinballed off one another, waking each other up. It was horrible. Whereas retraining her to self settle will have long term benefits, I know.