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Sleep

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Original poster

20month old wont sleep!

42 replies

misdee · 16/05/2004 08:15

please can anyone help. dd2 will go down happily for sleep between 7-8pm. but around midnight she will wake up and wont settle back down properly till around 3-4am. she is then up at 7am. she rarely has an afternoon nap, and if she does its only about an hour. she is rarely grumpy during the day, in fact is a lovely happy child, but unfortunatly i am not a lovely happy person when i have disturbed nights slee[p night after night (i should be used to this by now).

any suggestions anyone?

OP posts:

Original poster

misdee · 19/05/2004 10:49

i have tried taking her into my bed. i get hit. i tried settling her in own bed, lyign withv her, she hit me. I am shattered and grouchey. i have tried phoning the HV today but they arent answering. sister suggested controlled crying, but i dont think i could handle this at 2am.

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samwifewithkid · 19/05/2004 11:54

I don't mean to be harsh, but I think she is trying it on. From reading all through this thread you seem to be doing well with everything else.

If it was me in this scenario, I would ignore her!! If that meant controlled crying then so be it. She needs to know where to draw the line and be set firm boundaries. My dd did this at about the same time as your dd. I put my foot down and let her scream and she gave up after 3 nights. She was waking me up about 3 times a night and I gave her the benefit of the doubt for about 2 weeks before I realised she was getting into a pattern/habit of doing this. Once I set the boundaries she was happier in the day, ate better, and slept better even with her afternoon nap. I think they continually go through phases of good and bad, she will soon get past it. But I do think you need to tell her who the boss is!

Good luck, keep us posted!

noddy5 · 19/05/2004 12:03

Was in this situation 9 years ago and controlled crying remedied it in 4 days.It was hard but so worth it!

Original poster

misdee · 19/05/2004 12:06

well that settles it. going to be harsh and do CC. if i get up in the middle of the night and am stressing in here as she is screaming then i expect support for all of you

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strangerthanfiction · 19/05/2004 14:42

I did some cc with dd at around 17 months. She'd always been a good sleeper but after a bout of illness she started protesting at bedtimes and in the night which got worse and worse no matter how I tried to resolve it in other ways. So we did cc and it took about 3 horrible nights then a week or two of so/so nights and then got a LOT better though never quite as good as it used to be. She's 19 months now and 'usually' sleeps through.

The one thing I would say though is that you have to do it 'by the book' or it just doesn't work. We tried to adapt a soft version for dd to begin with as we couldn't stand the thought of her crying that much and it made things much much worse. So we read Ferber's guide to doing it and stuck to it by the letter and it worked.

Keep us posted!

strangerthanfiction · 19/05/2004 14:47

By the way, cc needn't be 'harsh.' If you do follow Ferber then you will realise that it's the kindest thing you can do and his method is really not that bad. It NEVER involves just leaving them to cry inconsolably for very long or at least it needn't.

Original poster

misdee · 19/05/2004 14:52

what i did b4, when she wasnt settling to sleep after an short illness, was leave her to cry for a few minutes, go up settle her back down, no talking eye contatc or lights on, maybe a kiss and pat her back, then leave the room. repeated this over and over slightly longer period each time. think it took about a week to get that sorted. but will i be able to cope in a sleepy state when a piercing cry or a laugh will wake everyone up.

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strangerthanfiction · 19/05/2004 16:51

Yes, you will cope because you're used to being up half the night anyway! It's only wimps like me who aren't used to being up in the night that find it hard.

So, when you did cc before it sounds like it worked.

Original poster

misdee · 20/05/2004 10:01

OMG!!!!!!!

dd2 fell asleep in her sister's room last night, so i just left them to share a bed as couldnt be bothered to move her. anyway, she slept thro the whole night! not a peek out of her till 6.30 this morning, at which point i was yelled at by dd1 as dd2 has gotton hold of one of her pens and was covered in blue ink. think i will def look into getting a small bed for dd2 to put in her sisters room now.

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ChicPea · 20/05/2004 14:41

That's fantastic!!

Original poster

misdee · 21/05/2004 06:55

well last night was a complete joke. dd2 woke up at 2am, playing and then screaming whenever i put her back into bed. it took over an hour before she settled down. and she was up at 5am this morning. i put her to sleep later than normal yesterday hoping she would sleep thro again, but it didnt work. as she woke up early she woke up her sister as well and they both came into my bedroom and jumped on me, so i am not in the best of moods.

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Original poster

misdee · 21/05/2004 18:19

well tonight i am taking it easy. she will be going to bed around 8pm, in her sisters room. so hopefully they will stay asleep. wish me luck.

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strangerthanfiction · 24/05/2004 20:54

Hi misdee, I've been away for the weekend and wondered how it's going? Are you still putting dd to sleep with her sister? It's an interesting solution, I'd be glad to find out if it's working!

Original poster

misdee · 31/05/2004 15:34

well, we have stopped the middle of the night waking. she is currently still sleeping top to toe with her sister on the bottom bunk.

but now we have to deal with the 5-6am wakign due to summer time. its not fun having a 16kg daughter (or worse both of them at the same time) jump on you at the first sign of daylight and we have blackout blinds!! am off to join the summer waking thread.

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strangerthanfiction · 01/06/2004 12:25

Hi again misdee, yes, come and join the summer waking thread started by yours truly!!! Wow, 16kg, that's a big little lady. My dd's only just crossed the 11kg mark but she's a very small eater and a bit of a short arse though I don't know why as dp is 6.4" and I'm 5,8"

It's really good to hear that you've got her going through the night at last. Now the next hurdle, the dreaded early mornings ...

Original poster

misdee · 01/06/2004 12:31

yeah she is a large girl. weighs clothes for 3-4 year olds.

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Original poster

misdee · 08/10/2004 17:49

well we are now having different yet similar problems. dd2 is now 2 and stil lgrowing well lol. but she has now dropped day time naps most days. which s great as she goes to sleep really easily. she was sleeping through the night, but in august we moved home. we have had a few good weeks with her sleeping through, but now we are back to her waking middle of the night and waking us up. As we are in a bungalow she has access to each room. The stairgates i had dont fit as the doorways/hall are very wide. so she is roaming at night, mainly into our room and switching the pc on to play cbeebies at 2am. argh!!!!

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