2 week old won't sleep anywhere but on me

[PriE06]

Help! Our two week old boy won't sleep anywhere but on me or my husband. He has rejected the Moses basket, his crib, he won't co-sleep flat on his back and seems to hate to be swaddled. He cries so much when we try any of these and it takes ages to calm him down again, which means we are often back to the feeding stage in the cycle before he's slept. He only seems to be able to sleep face down on our chests. We have even bought the sleepyhead deluxe on the off chance he needed to feel more secure to sleep. That worked for an hour in the Moses basket but hasn't worked since. We're not sure if it's because he wakes himself up with his hands, has gas or just wants a cuddle.

Should we just be going with it for now because he's still so tiny? Or should we be trying to get him to sleep from now? If so, any tips on how to do so? TIA.

Thanks so much!

Have you tried him in a different position? My DD only ever slept on her side, never on her back.

Mine did this. We let them sleep on us until they grew out of it. 2 weeks old is really very tiny, being able to smell you and hear your heartbeat will be making him feel safe and secure.

Firstly congratulations on the birth of your baby boy, I'd recommend you go with whatever he wants, he's so very little. Things will change as he grows so don't worry about "spoiling him" or "making a rod for your own back", he likes being close to you and there's no point in letting him cry hysterically if there's a easy way to comfort him. Make yourself a nest on the sofa with pillows, drinks and snacks, something to read and the remote control and just go with it

Congratulations on your little boy!

Welcome to the wonderful world of having a newborn, this isn't unusual at all. My DD1 was exactly like this, she has never slept on her back - she's 3 now!

How was the birth? We're forceps/ventouse used? If they were (ventouse with DD1) it can make their head hurt, and I've heard wonderful things about cranial osteopathy. Unfortunately by the time we heard about it, our troubles were over.

You can try warming the Moses basket with a hot water bottle before putting him down, or tilting it at the head end with a big book. That works for some, didn't for us. Also, some babies just hate being swaddled, neither of mine would tolerate it.

DD1 always slept on her front, from 8 weeks onwards, but she had amazing neck control. I wouldn't recommend it though, for obvious reasons.

This phase will pass, keep trying to put him in his Moses and he will eventually take to it. Every phase seems like it will never end, but newborn phases don't last long, honestly.

Good luck!

What is his feeding like? Difficulty settling to sleep at this age can be a pointer for hunger or problems associated with feeding.

Or maybe over tired. Baby literally sleeps all of the time as a tiny newborn. It will be sleep, feed, quick nappy check, top-up extra feed, sleep. Repeat. You might only get 10 or 15 minutes of actual awake time cuddles between naps and feeds.

Is he sucky? Would he like a dummy? The action of suckling is naturally soothing for a baby.

How about movement to help him sleep? A bouncy chair is fantastic for allowing you to foot bounce the chair while sitting on the sofa.

Oh, and white noise. We fell asleep to white noise every night!

Been there. First, get rid of the moses basket. They suck. An actual cot would probably be more comfortable.
If he won't settle on his back it could be a sign of reflux, so you should see a doctor. I saw a pediatrician at the local hospital, I was so worried about the non sleeping and endless crying, and it was reflux.
If you let him sleep on you, make sure you are actually lying down on a bed and he can't slip off. I used to put a blanket over my baby and tuck the corners in around me. Don't fall asleep in a chair with the baby on you.
I think it's Ok , if they really can't sleep on their backs , to put them on their side, maybe sort of prop them with a scrunched up blanket. Get proper advice on this though, I'm not a professional!

Finally, make sure the baby is warm enough in the cot-agree with the hot water bottle down before the baby goes in advice. Also, I my HV went on so much about babies getting too warm, I think I didn't use enough blankets, and he wouldn't sleep because was actually cold!
Don't worry too much, you will get thru. Honestly, all these phases do pass, and any sleep you can get, baby on top or not, is better than nothing.

As soon as mine could roll, he slept on his tummy, and slept like a log!

Aw
My dd had reflux and could only sleep on her front from 3 weeks old. Could this be it? Lots and lots of babies can't sleep on their backs for this reason. 2 weeks is so Ickle maybe he just wants his mummy :) congratulations x

DD was like this, no swaddle and only slept on me or DP. We got a Sleepyhead. Total lifesaver. We coslept with it first then just moved it into her cot by the bed. Worth every penny as I just didn't feel safe sleeping with her on me.

Once you've got the cot/basket nice and warm with the hot water bottle, what about using your tshirt that you're currently wearing as a sheet. It might smell of you and with the warmth as well it might help him settle.

Congratulations!

My ds was like this. I think it was tummy pain/wind. He did grow out if it by 3/4 months and became a pretty good sleeper:

Mine both did that for the first few weeks. After the first week or so, I was able to get into a proper safe cosleeping position once the baby was asleep, but DS would only sleep if he was touching someone for most of his first year.

I have posted many sleep questions so won't try to advise other than to say DS slept on his side from.birth to about 9weeks. If i put him on his back he just turned onto his side every time. So maybe try that?

Also DS is 15wks old now and those first weeks feel like a lifetime away already. Things change so fast though it doesn't always feel like it when you are sitting up with a tiny baby.

Dd was like this with colic. What worked for us was heavy metal music! The bass replicates mum's heartbeat apparently. Think there are devices that do this now though.

Congratulations and as with everything child rearing related, good and not so good, this too shall pass!

Try a sleepyhead warmed slightly with a hot water bottle and some form of white noise

Thanks so much for all the advice and the congrats! Though the nights are quite dark times for me at the moment, the thought that this will pass is keeping me going!

I watched DS last night and it seems that I can get him to lie on his back without a problem when he is in deep sleep. However, it's when he gets to the lighter REM sleep that he wakes himself up and gets upset. I'm not sure if he has reflux or gas or something else entirely but I am finding it hard to settle him once he wakes without getting him back on me for another feed.

Just to answer some of the questions here:

• birth: it was a difficult birth. DS was back to back and labour lasted 21 hours. No forceps or ventouse used though. However, DS had to be rushed to the intensive care unit after birth as he had an infection, low sodium levels and erratic, fast breathing. He was in the ICU for 4 days.

• side sleeping: haven't tried this. How do you keep them on their sides?? Is this safe re: SIDS?

• white noise: we've tried white noise (we have Euan the sheep, a baby monitor that plays white noise and an app) but doesn't seem to soothe him. Helps us though!

• Hot water bottle and nightie: We've tried the hot water bottle trick and used nightie idea. It helps him to stay in the Moses basket: crib for about 5 mins more than he would otherwise be in there for. We're persevering with it but not sure it's getting us to a solution...

• Dummy: we thought DS might just need some sucking comfort so have tried a dummy but he won't take it.

• Overtired: DS pretty much slept constantly in week 1 ( apart from feeds). We've found for the last 4 days or so that he is much more alert between feeds and sometimes won't sleep at all. Which feeds the vicious cycle as the less he sleeps, the more reluctant I am to experiment with getting him to sleep in his crib/ Moses basket. Don't know how to coax him to sleep when he's not doing that himself??

• Feeding: we're getting the right number of wet and dirty nappies. DS wasn't putting on weight last week on discharge from the ICU but has been putting on weight this week. For the last 2 days he has been eating pretty constantly and has been a bit grizzly. Not sure if this is a growth spurt? Or another indicator of bad feeding? MWs checked latch and that looks good.

Bouncy chairs: again, he'll go in there for a bit but won't stay in for long and doesn't sleep in there - wide awake and alert.

Reflux: I thought he might have reflux or excess wind early on. I've been using infacol and spending much more time burping them than i was. It has helped the wind issue a by but hasn't got him sleeping on his back. I will check with the HV/ Doctor though.

Thank you so much all!

Sounds like your doing all you can so don't expect or aim for cot sleeping just yet.

I would also just say that settling a newborn back to sleep in the night, after he has been deeply asleep and then has woken, would seem to me personally to be an impossible task without a feed. My own experience would suggest that this doesn't happen till quite a while later.

Also, as soon as you can I would get him in a sling in the day for naps. He may be a bit teeny still now depending on what type of sling you have.

Good luck and congrats

Thanks so much (ChristianGreysAnatomy). We have the ama wrap and a baby bjorn. Both claim they are good for newborns... Ours was 2.9kg on weds and we tried him in the Ama but I was slightly concerned about his slouchy spine in that sling. Any thoughts?

Re side sleeping i don't know re sids but DS did it regardless. He had been breech and his legs were up and i think he tipped himself over. He would brace his feet against the side of the Moses basket. He always sleeps on his back now.
I used the BB for naps as i wasn't confident with the stretch wrap but DS was 4kg at birth. Its fab.

Can you do a breastfeed carry with the wrap? So you still need an arm to hold him but it takes the strain off a bit?

DS wouldn't take a dummy and still won't though i try occasionally. He also didn't like the bouncy chair - basic foot bounced one - but again, i kept trying and now he loves it for play, and if i catch it right will bounce to sleep in it for a 30 - 50 minute nap. Constant bouncing! It takes 3/4 minutes of grizzling before sleep comes.

I am always questioning if i am getting it right or not, but things change real quickly!

For white noise we used Baby Got Colic, on repeat all night, she slept with it on an old iPhone next to the moses and her cot for 18months (though after the first few months she didn't need it all night). She found it really soothing, but white noise doesn't work for all babies.

That's the thing you come to realise, there are lots of things you can try, some might work, most won't, it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. One of the reasons the newborn phase is so hard is because you're still getting to know each other. You don't know what will make him happier and he can't tell you. Soon enough you'll be able to spot exactly what he needs, just by a look on his face or the tone of a noise he makes. Then once you've got it all sussed, he'll go and change the goalposts

Mine did this. I swaddled and bought a sleepyhead and she's slept pretty much most nights in that in a side crib (snuzpod) next to me since but I think mainly just time will help, another week and he'll be completely different.

The baby bjorn is not good as they dangle from it and it's all wrong for their spines. The spine should be in a C shape and their legs and bum in an M shape with their bum lower than their knees like a frog. Google scarf trick for the baby bjorn to get it to support him better.

www.fineandfairblog.com/2013/12/narrow-based-carrier-scarf-hack.html?m=1

My 3 week old is exactly the same. Think it's wind or reflux because just can't sleep on her back. I get her to sleep on me, sometimes succeed in getting her into bed, sometimes not. Sleepyhead does not work, nor swaddling.

I use a stretchy sling to get her to sleep in the day or would be impossible with toddler. Who is also shouting the odds upstairs as I type. The stretchy ones are a lot comfier once you get used to them. I use the Caboo and moby occasionally.

Best of luck. This time round it seems slightly more manageable as I know the saying about these things being phases actually was true last time.

Have you tried the sleepyhead between you in the bed? That worked for our dd. That and very loud white noise. The dream sheep wouldn't cut it. I had to put hairdryer noise on YouTube and play it on top volume.