Implementing a bedtime routine

[WheresMyBurrito]

Those of you that have put a bedtime routine in place... How? Do you just leap in with it and be persistent?

DD is 5mo and the past few evenings has been really grizzly and unsettled in the run up to bedtime. I say bedtime - we usually do nappy change and pyjamas on just after 7, but she then just sits up with us, falls asleep feeding (usually by 9) and then I take her up to bed when I go up between 10 and 11.

I'd like to try and get something in place to give her a bit more stability and give us a bit of evening time. I think I might give it a go tonight, so...any tips welcome!

(She gets way too giddy in the bath so not going to try that of an evening - just nappy and pyjamas sounds good I think.)

I also want to work on her daytime naps but again I feel pretty lost...

You know when you just feel like you don't have a fucking clue what you're doing?

I used to write down at what time DS would wake up and he woull stay awake for about 2 hours before feeling tired and needed a nap again. I never did the 'it's 11 better put him to bed' but figuring out how much time he could stay awake (I suppose at 5 months old it's probably between 1.5 and 2 hours) helped with planning. You could do pj, look at a book, sing some songs in the dark and put in the cot at around 8 pm and stick with it for a week or so to see if it works. Does she wake up at night? How many times?

I say, just decide what you want to do, then do it. It won't work the first few times, but stick with it, and ultimately she'll get used to it. The same every single night is what always worked for us, so nappy, pyjamas, into sleeping bag, feed, hug, bed. We're pretty much still doing that now they're 2.5 and 1.5, so putting in the effort now can pay dividends later. Everyone knows what's coming next, so there's hardly ever a fuss at bedtime. Just know that you'll spend the first few evenings up and down settling her back down, till she gets used to it. And don't give up!

Mine was bath - bottle - bed. Started when ds was 8 weeks and isstill the case at 22 months! It really worked for him though I see you said the bath wasn't a good idea for your dc. Can you try story-bottle/feed-bed? Basically you're just looking to give your dc the same sleep cues every night so they know what's coming and relax into it...that's the idea, anyway. Keep things dark and quiet, obviously, too.

I didn't have a fucking clue with naps so no help there I'm afraid!

We started with a routine of sorts at around 4.5 months, it's:

• bath time
• baby massage then dress for bed
• story
• bottle
• bed

Initially we didn't have a set time for it, just anytime between 6-8 depending on when he last slept / fed, so for us it was the sequence that came first. This helped me, rather than thinking it wasn't working because the timings were off. This gradually then settled into a set time as he got a bit older, now it's pretty set in stone (clocks changing causing some difficulties). It really was a case of launching into it and being consistent for us.

She generally wakes twice (last night three times, so not too bad) - usually around 2/3am and then again around 5/6am, then up for the day around 6/7. She's bf so I just offer her a feed and most of the time she drifts back off quite quickly. Sometimes she'll wake when we take her up so if I offer her a feed then, she might only wake once before morning.

Tbh it's not so much through the night that's the issue (so far, touch wood), I just feel like I'm failing her a bit by not helping her to sleep to begin with (I know that sounds a bit pfb and silly ).

I don't think it's silly, helping her learn to fall asleep is a really good thing. Not the end of the world if she's not ready yet, but she might surprise you...I was shocked how quickly ds got on board with the routine and thank goodness, we've never had any problems with him settling to sleep. The early morning wakings however, are a different matter