15 weeks old and not sure what i am doing

[Kaz4755]

Hi,

I have a 15 week old dd and I am a first time mum and am struggling with my dd's sleep. It has never been great but not this bad.up until a week or so ago we could almost consistently feed her at 7pm and put her to bed asleep and she would go down for two or three hours before waking again and then every two hours sometimes once an hour during the night. Now we cant see to feed her to sleep, which I know is wrong anyway and we don't know how to get her to sleep when feeding fails. She sleeps in a chicco next to me and I can normally put her back in this during the night but the last two nights she has ended up sleeping more on me than in her own chicco, which is not ideal.
please can someone give me some tips on how to get her to sleep? Thank you.

Is she bf? I remember when dd1 was around this age and she woke every 45 minutes for a week. It nearly killed me!

But l would put her on the boob, prop myself up with pillows and let her sleep that way. I then would transition her to her cot when she was in a deep sleep.

Dd2 is bottle fed and I'm a bit lost without a bf to offer but a dummy and laying in my arms has worked so far (although she is only 5 weeks old)

Hi, thank you for replying! Breastfed apart from one bottle a day at 7pm ish. Exhausting isn't it! I try and wait 20 minutes or so after feeding her in the night to ensure she is in a deep sleep but somehow I am getting it wrong as she keeps pinging wide awake...agh!

Sorry to upset you...but by deep sleep it was usually a lot longer than 20 minutes!

It is hard. But dd1 is a really good sleeper so l didn't make any 'rods for my back' doing this and it saved my sanity.

Oh ok, I thought after 20 mins most babies transitioned into deep sleep! Seems I have a lot to learn!

I've always used music to get my babies to sleep. However i started this when they were tiny and put them down awake listening to it so I'm not sure ho it would work at 15 weeks . We use violet and scout bears .. They are lovely and have always worked well .

oh you just reminded me bishbosch at some point we used white noise with dd1 (maybe at this age, she was quite old) and that worked for a while too.

Could you try a dummy instead of feeding? this is a great way to teach baby to sleep independently of you while still being able to comfort suck.

Thank you for replying! We use white noise each night so hopefully she will start building an association with that! I do try and use a dummy fatedestiny, sometimes it works and buys us a little extra time. She generally drops back off only for her hands to drop down by her sides and wake her up. Am not looking forward to bed tonight, plus my dh goes away for a couple of nights tomorrow... Interestingly I was in bed with her last night, very early night, and dh said he was watching her on the monitor and she was flapping around every fifteen minutes or so but then sleeping again. I normally hear every noise as she is right by my head but as I was so tired and sleeping on dh's side I didn't hear her so didn't pick her up each time. My mum said to perhaps try ear plugs as if she started crying I would hear her but it would just block out her shuffling around and the temptation for me to pick her up even though she may not need anything and will drift back off. What are your thoughts?

The baby whisperer book does say it takes 20 minutes to fall asleep properly.

I have a 16 week old. So far we've got lucky and I'm not pretending it's anything we've done. How does your baby sleep during the day? Good naps during the day (not super long all day napping though) seem to help night time sleeping.

Did you know there is a natural sleep regression at 16 weeks? It doesn't have to mean things are going downhill.

I wouldn't wear earplugs, sorry.

My first child really slept well when she was swaddled. If she's flapping around and waking herself up, it might help. I can't pin DS's arms in when he's sleeping because he wakes himself up trying to break out...it's horses for courses :)

We wake DS up thoroughly about 10-11 so he feeds well for his last feed and is awake before his core night. Regardless of what he's been like through the night, we get him up at 7am. I'm not having him decide when it's morning!

He happens to be enormous so really didn't need nutrients during the night from eleven weeks. We gave him water instead of milk for a few nights and he gave up waking up for that quickly. He does tend to get squirmy after a feed and sometimes needs to sit up for twenty minutes before a bubble comes up. We don't switch the lights on even if he is awake - light from the landing is enough. Don't do nappy changes unless essential. Keep him as warm and cosy as is safe without overheating.

It's a personal choice but provided I know he's safe, warm and well fed, I don't mind him having a bit of a shout in his cot. I don't like going to bed either and he's just thinking out loud. If he goes through a few crescendos and is showing no sign of letting up I'll pick him up.

Stopping I'm just saying it too longer than 20 minutes for my dd1 to be in a deep enough sleep for me to transfer her to her cot.

Regardless of what the books say

I moved my DS to his own room at around four months, which I appreciate isn't the current guidance. But his shuffling around kept me awake!! I woke at every tiny noise even though he was fine.

Also, with the flapping around, have you tried swaddling? Also controversial at this age I would imagine but I used it and it worked wonders for a more peaceful sleep. I know some babies get hooked on it though. Mine didn't, he just one day started really trying to escape from it and I kept re swaddling him and failing. Gave up in the end and it turned out he was done with the swaddle.

offmy

The research backs up the idea that the sleep process tends to take about twenty minutes to play out. I thought the OP should have this information to balance the more discouraging perspective given in your post.

However the situation being described in the book I read (and have experienced with my babies) is baby falling asleep in the cot. I have no information about falling asleep deeply enough to transfer to a cot because on the rare occasions we have done it, my babies have woken up freaked out and indignant :) As far as I'm aware the ideal is to go to sleep in the cot if this can be managed.

Thanks ladies for all advice, I think I need to start working hard an settling her in her crib as opposed to trying to transfer her. I was up lots,last night so something needs to change. It's so hard to know what to do. Thank you for your help.

I understand stopping but the OP mentioned 20 minutes so l thought l would give her my experience. Which granted is a bit discouraging! But to let her know to keep trying.

Mine is 4 month and used to be a great sleepwr, bot so much now! Only way i can get him to sleep (apart from breastfeeding - and even then he pings awake when i try and remove boob) is putting him in pram with a soft blanket to cosy up with (he likes to bring it to his face when hes sleepy and i move it lower down once hes asleep to avoid suffocation) and put baby tv lullabies on youtube on tv and rock him in pram untill he drifts off. Exhausting isnt it!

If you have the spare cash you might want to buy a sleepyhead. My lo is just over four months. Since we bought it she has been so much easier to settle. It seems to be both easier to transfer and easier to settle her in her cot ( usually let her suck on my little finger for a while). She has also recently started putting herself to sleep in it. We can put her down wide awake, she plays for a while and then goes to sleep.
This stuff if hard. Babies don't come with a manual, my best advice is to spend time really observing your baby and getting to know their likes and dislikes, also trust your gut a bit more. Experience does count but Noone knows your baby like you.

Hi, I will look into a sleepy head, I have seen then them and vaguely thought about it before. Last night was horrendous, ok until 12.30 then she woke every 45 minutes, sometimes putting her dummy back in helped, when I picked her up to feed she only wanted to eat twice in the night,, the rest of the time she fell immediately back to sleep in my arms. When I put her back in her chicco after two minutes she was flapping and wide awake again.at 5 30 I gave in and she slept on me until 7. What the eff am I doing wrong, so tired.....

Kaz this isn't about what you are doing right or wrong. Some babies settle and sleep better than others, and it will take time to learn your baby's signs.
It sounds like you need to find what will help settle your baby in her cot other than the dummy. The sleep head worked for me. Mine won't take a dummy and pat pat shhh doesn't work but she will suck on my little finger and if she isn't hungry this can settle her. If she is pulling up her legs this is normally farts and I cycle her legs and put some gentle pressure on her belly to help them out. I also make sure at night that for every feed she takes two boobs, otherwise she wakes to feed every 2 hours. Keep an eye on the time, if she wakes less than 2 hours from a feed chances are it is winding or comfort she is after, so I wouldn't even offer a feed. It will get better, honest.

What are her daytime sleeps like? How long does she have awake between naps in the day and how long/often does she nap?

I wonder if by night time she is over tired and this exhaustion is disturbing her sleep.

Newborns need a lot more sleep than many gym imagine. About 1 hour max awake time between naps, more like 30 minutes if settling to sleep takes a while

ftm, not gym (grr auto correct)