I'm getting desperate

[mrsb26]

I'm getting pretty desperate now. I've tried riding out the growth spurts and all-day cluster feeds with no sleep. I feel like I've tried everything and read everything and nothing works. My 8 week old dd will NOT sleep during the day.

I'm fed up of seeing other happy mums, out and about with their angelic sleeping (or awake and happy) babies. I'm fed up of hearing about your bottle fed baby who naps well and goes four hours between feeds (not that I have anything against formula, and I've debated resorting to it on a number of occasions). I'm fed up of spending all day, everyday either trying to feed her to sleep (I know, I know) or trying to rock her to sleep for 30 minutes, only for her to wake up as soon as I put her down. I literally can'y get a thing done. I'm getting to the point where I'm putting off going anywhere day after day through fear of her kicking off. I don't even want to go for a walk anymore because she just screams and screams with overtiredness. I feel so embarrased that it's only my baby that's unhappy, wherever we go. 9 times out of 10 when she's awake, she's crying.

It's not colic. It's not reflux or anything else. She doesn't display any other symptoms. It's just a constant cycle of overtiredness and I don't know what to do to get out of it.

Please help :(

Ok. Try approaching this from a different angle. What would you consider 'good enough' for you to feel happy with the situation?

(Re slings - I suspect people are thinking of wrap slings or hybrids like a Close Caboo. A babybjorn is a bit dangly for most babies to be very keen in napping in it. They like to feel all snuggled up).

I do remember that feeling with dd1 of having the only baby in the world that didn't settle. Lady, you're doing fine and your baby is normal. Stretchy sling (kari me), car, pram, basically outside in general at this age. Everything is worse inside. A dummy for sleep time if you like, and don't worry about bad habits, my dc1 sucks her thumb at nearly 4 and that's much harder to break.
You will probably have to spend quite a while pressing the issue with the sling, swaddle or pram but keep at it. At least they are feeling held and comforted with those tools- very hard for an 8 week old to go into a cot or basket.

It's ok if you look back with horror at these days, you don't have to like them at all (what's to like?). Hated it with both of mine but it gets better.

Yes defo recommend a close caboo. That's what I have and it is just as close to being in the womb as you could imagine. It's like bringing cuddled really really tightly.

I second the pp on the babybjorn being a bit dangly. The wrap style slings are more like being snug in the womb. I love my caboo close and it's really easy to use.

Dancing with music (bob marley or souful house) with dd in sling helped to get her off too. Guessing it was the noise and movement.

OP if it's any consolation my DS was very similar. First I realised I needed to get him into a favourable sleep position quicker. Second I realised I had to persevere a bit. And third, suddenly the tired cry appeared. Now at 11 weeks he might grizzle a bit whether in car, pram, sling. But I can recognise sleep is coming so I leave him to it. 3 weeks ago I would not have believed that was possible. But I still need to work out, the minute he wakes from a nap, how long before I need to get him down again and it's never in his cot!

As others have said, you're not alone. I have a daytime nap avoider and it is hard work! I have started to recognise the cycle for my baby now (feed for about 40mins, play for about 30mins, get tired and fight sleep until fed again!) so I have been trying to catch it earlier this past couple weeks with some success. I have found if I can try start getting to sleep before he's crying for it then its bit easier. Sometimes. The success I've had needed white noise, dummy, shushing and perseverance as I was giving up too soon.

That said, I've not managed it every day at all. It's random when it works and when it doesn't. More often it doesn't. We still get up every two hours at night too!

And those people you see out might be having a good 5 mins as they walk past you but may have come from hiding in a corner crying for half an hour.

How you feel is totally reasonable and shared across many of us. Other than trying all the techniques, which you probably have, it's just a case if rising it out unfortunately. It's got easier for me now I have accepted it and know he won't be doing this when he's 15.

Have you tried swaddling?