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Sleep

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Original poster

Sleep training - nap time

16 replies

pocketsized · 04/10/2015 15:57

We are about to embark on some gradual retreat sleep training with our 6.5mo. We currently rock her to sleep, but she is waking frequently at night and needs us to rock her each time.

The aim to to start putting her down awake to go to sleep. I don't think she will get too upset by it, but I do think it will take a long time for her to sleep. I understand that at night time you just persevere till they fall asleep, but I'm confused about nap time.

If I put her in her cot, and she doesn't sleep, at what point do I get her out and give up? Or do you just keep going? I fear that she'll stay awake so long it will be time to feed her again so I'll have to get her up anyway,or I will just spend all day and all night for weeks in her darkened room getting stressed out that she won't sleep.

Any guidance on how to handle nap times very gratefully received...!

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Mamabear15 · 04/10/2015 16:12

I don't have any advice I'm afraid, I'd just like to add that I would also love to know the answer to your question! My ds is 8 months and whilst he can go to sleep on his own at night time (probably out of exhaustion to be honest), naps are an absolute nightmare - I have to rock him or naps just would not happen at all - he typically only naps 30-45mins anyway which is another problem (see my other thread!) If I just put him down he goes hysterical and would never fall asleep in a million years.

I'll be following this thread with interest...

FATEdestiny · 04/10/2015 16:47

You really need to follow the same 'training' at naptime as you do bedtime and wake-ups if you want it to be effective.

I would make sure she's had a full feed when going down for a nap. Then just keep going until she is asleep. If it gets to the point she needs another feed then feed her and continue trying to get her to sleep.

Original poster

pocketsized · 04/10/2015 19:27

And if she doesn't sleep? (she has spent 9 hours straight awake on more than one occasion...!)

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Pinkpowderpuff · 04/10/2015 19:36

I've always used bedtime to get them used to settling themselves as I know they are tired and will fall asleep eventually. With nap times I've always been more concerned with getting them sleeping at the 'correct' time so it doesn't throw out the routine and result in an overtired baby. Even now DS2 is 18mo and at nap time I cuddle him until sleepy before putting him down, then he sleeps for 1.5 - 2hrs. At bedtime I pop him in his cot wide awake, say goodnight then walk out. He just chats to himself then drops off.

I think with naps just do what you need to get them sleeping and spend your time working on bedtimes/night wakings. After all, they grow out of naps! I have read various articles about different parts of the brain dealing with day and night sleep, which explains why you can have some babies self settling in the night but not in the day and vice versa.

Original poster

pocketsized · 04/10/2015 19:41

It's so confusing when there are so many differing opinions, the HV says I absolutely must be consistent and not rock her to sleep ever (including naps), or she will get confused and that isnt fair on her, and others have suggested that it's ok at nap times, but not bedtime. I know that it will be more or less impossible to get her to have regular naps without rocking her and I've no idea if it's better she sleeps or that she doesn't get rocked!

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TheEagle · 04/10/2015 19:46

I fed my DS to sleep for every nap until he was 13mo. He napped happily at nursery without any intervention because I wasn't around!

Stopped feeding to sleep at bedtime at around 7 months because it wasn't working anymore so did gradual retreat then.

I think you could do whatever works best for you and your baby. I'll be controversial and say that they are still quite small and if it feels right to you to rock them to sleep then that's ok.

DS1 was 2 on Thursday and he happily goes to sleep by himself at nap and bedtimes.

He does still wake in the night sometimes for a cuddle but that's ok

CityDweller · 04/10/2015 19:48

I didn't worry so much about the sleep training/ self-settling at naps. A decent nap was more important so I rocked DD to sleep for naps long after she'd learned to self-settle at night. Eventually she just got the hang of falling asleep at nap time on her own too.

Pinkpowderpuff · 04/10/2015 19:48

My HV said the same...... I ignored her! This is my 2nd child and I did the same with my first. In fact, when my first child was still napping as a toddler I ended up driving around in the car until he dropped off then transferred him into his cot! He self settled fine at bedtime.

Like I said, I think it's more important that they nap at the required time rather than worry about how they get to be napping. Especially at your daughters age.

Original poster

pocketsized · 04/10/2015 19:55

Thanks all.

I am convinced that the sleep training is necessary, she's waking at least every hour and a half at night, and mostly refusing to nap. We're all exhausted and it's becoming unsustainable.

Maybe I will focus on getting her to self settle at bedtime for now, and tackle naps at a later date...

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Tfoot75 · 04/10/2015 20:10

As long as she differentiates the two
Different kinds of sleep (getting ready for bed, milk, story etc) it shouldn't be a problem doing different things if you have to. My DD never had a single nap in her cot, always either in buggy or car seat. So daytime sleeping was completely different to night time sleeping and she needed rocking or motion most of the time for naps. But not had too much of a problem with self settling at bed time (she has gone to sleep within minutes of us leaving her room for months) and naps were dropped completely before age 2 so what you do at nap time isn't going to have any long term impact on ther sleep, as long as you get it right at bed time!

Original poster

pocketsized · 05/10/2015 08:42

I think we'll try out first attempt at bedtime tonight, and see how it goes. Then I'll make a decision on naps tomorrow depending on how exhausted she is. Wish us luck!

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Piazzapiola · 05/10/2015 09:37

Not read all comments but personally I'd try for say an hour and if it doesn't work, do something else and try again in a bit. Or if you think she really needs a nap then rock her to sleep and start again with the next nap.

Am sure others will say This Is Not Allowed as it's not consistent but there you go. That's what I'd do!

Original poster

pocketsized · 05/10/2015 10:13

Yes piazza I think we will try something along those lines, I can see how else is likely to be practical! I need her to at least get some sleep in the day!

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Ladywithababy1 · 05/10/2015 10:31

I found that doing a shortened version of bedtime routine worked for naps - into sleeping bag, gave him his muslin (he uses it as a comforter), dim light and low talk, cuddle and then pop him into the cot, say night night and leave him. Also found that having naps at set times worked, although I appreciate that may only be possible once there's a relatively consistent wake up time in the morning.

Also we have a video monitor that has a remote lullaby button, so when I see him stirring after one sleep cycle, I put on a lullaby to try and tide him over.

puttheteaon · 05/10/2015 23:09

Hi,

Think I'm in the same boat as you! Just started gentle sleep training, on week 2 and so far its been a huge improvement... tho that's from awful to bearable, nowhere near through the night yet!

My advice wd be take the stress out of it and do naps in the pram or in the car just while you establish your night routines etc, know that's easier said than done, v. tiring being out when you've had no sleep but maybe a friend/relative cd get involved too? I was wondering the same thing about naps when we started so did this the first few days before trying nap times in the house, just meant he wasn't overtired and we hadn't had nap battles all day before trying night!

Good luck xxx

Original poster

pocketsized · 06/10/2015 08:51

Thanks!

We did our first attempt last night. It wasn't any worse than when we rock her. She woke just as frequently, but didn't really take much longer to settle. It took 45 minutes to get her down, but she was fairly calm.

Have decided to keep rocking her till she is almost asleep for naps, to try and get her used to the routine, and will tackle the naps in a couple of days/weeks depending how it goes.

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