sleep

[reno]

any one got any ideas about getting a 4.5 month old to settle by himself at bedtime? We've tried lightson/off, music on/off, volume up/down, gentle play/no play, lavender oil/no oil (drops in the cot), soft singing, cc method (which breaks my heart as it doesn't seem to work for us), - we can get him calm before putting him in the cot but its getting him to calm down once he's in it thats the real headache - we haven;t bothered with baths or massage as when i return to work there won't be much time for that, to be honest 9makes me sound like a bad mum but i'm not - i just work in a very high pressure environment) Don't expect a quick fix but any suggestions would be welcomed!!
thanks all

Hello Reno - we tried everything with our DS and the only thing that really worked was a more simple way of CC. Instead of increasing the time by a larger number of minutes each time, because he was so stressed and crying a lot, we went in every 2 minutes and settled him. First we calmed him down by picking him up, then, once he'd stopped crying we placed him back in the cot, stoked his head and said "goodnight" and left. Then we waited 2 mins and went back in and repeated it. But the second time we just laid him back down and said "go to sleep" and the same each time. Eventually, we could increase the time and soon he settled more quickly and settled himself. Even now at nearly 2, he often wakes up in the night and we just keep laying him back down and don't pick him up for cuddles and it works in a couple of mins. Hope this works for you but not sure as your baby is only 4 1/2 months. Good luck.

thanks lucie - will give it a go - anyone else got any ideas?

Patting and shushing once he's in the cot?

I second luciemule: dd is 5.5 moths and we worked SO hard at getting her to settle by herself. We have a bedtime routine and that helps. I really think that a bath helps her to settle to sleep. When she was a few weeks old we had to go through the endless going back and forth, pick up, cuddle, check not wind, put back down and it was HARD! Now dd can be put down awake and will settle herself. When she gets poorly she goes back to not being able to settle hgerself so we do what luciemule suggests. I find that is less stressful than full on CC (tho I've had to use it at her morning sleep before now when she got so overtired NOTHING would stop her crying but falling exhaustedly to sleep!). I try not to talk to her, pick her up, give a cuddle and say shh shh then put her down when she's stopped crying. If she cries the second shegoes back down it's usually hunger or wind (unless overtired) but if she startes again I go back in after a set length of time and do exactly the same thing. I hope it works for you but eventually, (and dd learned this at about 8 weeks old!) that if they cry and need something you will always come but if they are just winging they don't end up playing etc. I found it helpful to look at the clock because when they are full on yelling it's hard to hold out for a those 2/5/10 mins. (I do this when I i know she's just tired and cross and I'm sure she doesn't need anything).