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Nights used to be easier than this!

8 replies

cheekyfunkymonkey · 28/09/2015 22:02

At wits end here- previously compliant toddler is now being a nightmare at bedtime. From pretty much self settling at 7pm and sleeping through, he is now screaming the place down unless I sit in his room while he goes to sleep and then is early waking and tantruming. If I sit with him he will sometimes go back off, otherwise he just screams until I let him get up ( I am trying not to do this until 6am, which if he's awake at 4 is a trying 2 hours!). I have tried getting him to just have the one nap, back to two, his routine is pretty consistent, tried pick up put down, leaving the room for a minute, then two etc ( this has worst results), stroking him to sleep, gradual withdrawal, nothing is getting him to self settle again. It's been month and I am shattered. I am probably confusing him by constantly changing tactics. Dh and dm think I am being too soft and am rewarding him for crying by giving in and sitting with him but whenever I have tried sitting outside his door and going in in increasing long intervals he just screams and keeps it up and I can get him to sleep much faster by being with him. Possibly making a rod for my back. My DD has always been a good sleeper so not used to this! He isn't interested in co- sleeping. Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
FATEdestiny · 29/09/2015 21:24

I am probably confusing him by constantly changing tactics

Mmm Flowers

How old is your little one?

cheekyfunkymonkey · 30/09/2015 07:46

17 months...

OP posts:
Iguessyourestuckwithme · 30/09/2015 07:47

How long has it been going on?

jazzandh · 30/09/2015 08:24

I would look to the naps and how long after a nap he goes to bed etc.

Ime when they were not tired enough at bedtime to shut their eyes and go to sleep (based on the assumtion they have managed this in the past) it would be that they were not tired enough at bedtime.

KP86 · 30/09/2015 09:11

This could have been me. My son is also 17 months. A tough age!

He had never slept through consistently, although he was pretty good at bed time, and woke once through the night and we gave him a bottle to go straight back to sleep.

Recently we trialled him in a big bed, but he's not quite ready, so back in the cot. As part of the trial I also switched him from 2 to 1 naps, which has worked out beautifully he now goes down at about 12ish for 2 hours, instead of 2 X 90 mins before. He has stopped fighting the naps, because he is now tired after lunch.

Also, I make sure he has a decent dinner with plenty of good carbs so he is full overnight and not waking up hungry.

Finally, especially now that the weather has started cooling, we make sure he is warm enough overnight. He sleeps in a long onsie and a 1.5T grobag.

We still have the occasional bad night (doesn't everyone?) but since switching to one day sleep he has been sleeping through, from 7 until about 7.

As always, this kind of advice comes with the disclaimer of 'this is what worked for US' - we know all kids are different!

Good luck, it is so exhausting to deal with a non-sleeper and then a crazy toddler during the day.

cheekyfunkymonkey · 30/09/2015 17:17

Thanks all, and pleased you craked it KP! It's been going on for a month or so. I will try swapping back to one nap and bigger tea! He has a duvet and long sleeved pj's so hopefully warm enough. Fingers crossed for tonight!

OP posts:
KP86 · 01/10/2015 17:55

Some other thoughts...

  • Have a consistent bed time routine. Milk (if given), clean teeth, read book, cuddles then into bed. Give a good half hour warning that soon it will be time to get ready for bed.
  • Consider putting him to bed a touch later if he just isn't tired. With our DS, if he whinges a lot after being put to bed we know he isn't ready, get him up for 15 mins and then try again. This will only work if 90% of the time he is good and goes to sleep first go otherwise it might be used as a game/tactic for him. I also notice if he has a late afternoon nap (eg. falls asleep in the car) if I try to put him down at regular time he will fight it.
  • Try a gro clock or similar? Good for showing time for sleep and time to be up in the mornings. Make a game of it, use rewards when he goes to bed and stays there and waits until proper time in the mornings.

I sincerely wish you all the best.

KP86 · 01/10/2015 17:59

Sorry, one more thought - could he be teething? Incisors are due now (as I just looked in DS's mouth and saw two at the top) and they are meant to be bad.

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