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Sleep

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Original poster

urgent help needed - controlled crying

48 replies

zombiemeow · 23/09/2015 18:37

Please will someone tell me how to do controlled crying properly and any success stories.

I always said from the start I would never do it but after months of bad sleep gradually getting worse i have broken. It's got to the point ds will not sleep on me at all. I have been spending days sleeping on his floor but it hasn't helped.

Please don't come and be negative, i feel like utter shit about it.

I feel like he will hate me for this :-(

OP posts:

Pico2 · 24/09/2015 15:43

You might find that getting her to self settle at bedtime might also get her to do it at night.

excitedforbaba · 24/09/2015 16:54

Wish me luck then ladies.. bedtime will not be fun tonight!!

Original poster

zombiemeow · 24/09/2015 17:38

Good luck excited

OP posts:

excitedforbaba · 24/09/2015 17:42

Thank you zombie..here's hoping neither of us resemble zombies by next week!

Did you try it last night with your wee one?

Original poster

zombiemeow · 24/09/2015 18:55

I haven't yet as he has a cold/cough when he woke this morning.

Someone also suggested I try co sleeping first too.

Db has just taken ds to the park for a bit so I can get some slobbing out infront of the TV housework done.

Hope it goes well for you tonight! How many minutes will you start off with?

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excitedforbaba · 24/09/2015 19:22

Emmm none tonight! She has fallen asleep on me for the first time in months! We had a story while she was in her grobag and the wee pet was all snuggled in and off to sleep by the end!
I think she was reading my posts earlier and knew what was planned!

Dd is a semi co-sleeper of there's such a thing. Starts off in the cot and gets in with us then at somepoint every night. It used to be 5am then gradually started getting earlier to sometimes it's her telling me what time to go to bed!

I love wakening up with her beside me in the mornings, some mornings with a big kiss other mornings with a foot in the face but I feel I for any of us to get a decent nights sleep she needs to be in her own bed with the monitors on!

Original poster

zombiemeow · 24/09/2015 19:36

That's great news! Hope she sleeps through for you!

Ds has just fallen asleep, I'm dreading moving him because that's when it starts

OP posts:

excitedforbaba · 24/09/2015 19:54

I hope the transition goes well zombie!
That's one thing thankfully we no longer have an issue with.
Back in the Moses basket days dd used to waken as soon as she was put down so we used to put a little cellular blanket on the heater while she was being fed pop it into her basket all tucked under safely and place her on it and she would snuggle right up and stay asleep!
Those days seem forever ago now....

Original poster

zombiemeow · 24/09/2015 20:21

I was thinking heating his cot might help. Might try popping one of his sheets over the radiator tomorrow

OP posts:

excitedforbaba · 24/09/2015 22:54

I literally try anything.. something has to work! Iv just come to bed so I wonder how long it is to she joins me!

excitedforbaba · 24/09/2015 23:23

That didn't last long! I have a small human in my bed with both her hands clamped round my arm incase I'd dare leave the comfort of my own bed!

Original poster

zombiemeow · 25/09/2015 07:45

Oh no excited! It's a start though!

I'm in shock, ds slept until 3 am I don't remember the last time he has done that. I bet it won't last though.

I feel amazing today, I got a good 4.5 hours uninterrupted sleep

OP posts:

Original poster

zombiemeow · 25/09/2015 07:51

I fully expect it to be a blip though as he has woke up with a full blown stinking cold

OP posts:

OrchardDweller · 25/09/2015 08:07

I don't normally following the sleep board as my DC are now young adults but it popped up on the Active feed! I'm afraid I'm not familiar with what the current thinking is but this book saved my life when DS wouldn't sleep - Solve your Child's Sleep Problems by R Ferber - still available on Amazon and published in 1986!

My two went into their own room at 3 days old (gasp!) but that's how it was then! Hope all goes well with sorting out your your DC's sleeping - sleep deprivation is one of the worst things and I can remember too clearly how ghastly it was.

Original poster

zombiemeow · 25/09/2015 08:10

Thanks will have a look at the book

OP posts:

excitedforbaba · 25/09/2015 19:32

We had a great sleep last night. She snuggled right in and slept sound to 7.30 we woke up feeling refreshed. It's those days that get me through the horrific sleep deprived ones.

That's fab zombie well that he slept to 3am but not so much about the Cold. We fastened a bib round the bars of dds cot at the bottom and dabbed some snuffle babe vapor drops on it to keep her nose clear through the night. worked great! I also used it for my cold!

Lets see how tonight goes. Dd fell asleep on top of our bed herself in the time it took me to zip up her gro bag! I definitely think she was reading mumsnet yesterday and knew what was planned!

Thanks orchard I must take a look for that book the good nights probably won't last for long!

Original poster

zombiemeow · 25/09/2015 20:04

That is great news!!! fingers tightly crossed it continues for you!

Ds is really suffering today the poor thing. That's a good idea about bibs though, will give that a go tomorrow. He has woken up once so far after going to bed at 6.45 but that's to be expected with him being poorly. And it's still better than he has been the past few weeks as he only took 5 mins to settle

OP posts:

excitedforbaba · 26/09/2015 00:06

Every little step is progress. It's great that he is going over so quickly. Do you out him down awake or let him fall asleep with you?

I really think I must be annoying dd when I go to bed, dp and I are watching a movie and there hasn't been a peep but any night Iv went to bed early she has been up and in bed by now!

Maybe time for her own room...again!!

FartemisOwl · 26/09/2015 00:15

I never thought I'd crack this either, but I'm bringing you a message of hope!

They will learn to settle themselves, but when they're ready. I tried after 6 months, a year, all with zero success. One day, I tried it again and DD was fine. Went straight to sleep. We did have the odd time when she cried in the night, but it turned out to be bad dreams and she'd go back to sleep after a few minutes.

They do start to settle on their own eventually, don't worry.

MamaDuckling · 26/09/2015 16:23

The 'ferber' method is what we eventually used. We tried the 'good night sleep tight' book which a few friends highly recommended, but it was a gradual withdrawal method which just wound DS up even further.
I believe Ferber works, just stick to your guns. We have to go back to it occasionally after an illness or a clingy phase, it's become the seven minute system in our house.

excitedforbaba · 29/09/2015 21:17

Hi zombie just checking in to see how ds is getting on sleep & cold wise?

Penguin13 · 30/09/2015 10:18

Hey Zombie I don't have much useful to add but remember you from the 4 month regression board which I kind of unintentionally fell off and then never found again! Just wanted to come and wish you luck and offer some moral support. It is so so hard but you will find a way though and

puttheteaon · 04/10/2015 19:08

Hey everyone,

Just wondering how you got on zombie? We have been doing it for a week now and its been nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, the first night was really, really hard, not time wise but just having to resist going to him but he actually settled within 25 mins and even at that it was not continuous crying just some periods of what I would call protesting or shouting then calm for a bit until he went off to sleep.

Anyway I have a question, my lo has always fed 3+ times a night so with cc we have set some boundaries for feeds i.e. we won't feed him before 3 1/2 hours is up from the last feed and we're hoping to slowly increase that. Is that the way to go? I felt I couldn't just let him go cold turkey overnight as he is prob genuinely hungry as he's been feeding like that for so long! Just wondering what other people did? X

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