I hate the cot. 7 mos too late for cosleeping?

[CerseiLannistersEyebrow]

Due to being on a certain medication I couldn't breastfeed, nor cosleep as it wasn't safe. Since DS was born (after the only sleeping on us phase), he has slept in a Sleepyhead inside a bedside cot. My DH does most nights and I was often in spare room as needed sleep for health reasons and medication made it dangerous (passing out) for me to do night feeds.

To compensate, I have put him to bed almost every night of his life. We have a lovely affectionate routine of hand holding and cuddles and as a result he usually goes down pretty easily.

DS is nearly 7 months old and just moved into the big cot as he's outgrown the bedside cot. We can't cuddle and can only hold hands through the bars. I hate it :( He wakes up almost hourly (did in bedside cot too) and its hard to feed and comfort him in this cot. I'm now off the medication and feel like I've missed so much.

Am I being selfish in considering putting our mattress on the floor and his cot mattress with the Sleepyhead on top and sleeping like that instead to be close to him? I'm back to work in 2 weeks and feel like I'll never see him now and our special bedtime days are gone. The cot height combined with my height makes it all very awkward.

Is that safe? Or stupid?

Oh, to add, he is rolling and crawling!

Do it. They are only little once and that bond is so important to nurture, especially in the first few years of life. It is natural to sleep next to our offspring, it's only Western society that put their babies in cots and require them to sleep alone. I sometimes wish I had co-slept, but too late now as 17mo used to his own cot in his own room. Bear in mind though that your little one will want to stay close to you at night until age 2.5 to 3yrs, so you can't just decide a few months down the line that you don't want it any more...... Well you can...... It will just be very stressful for all involved to change it. Generally full time co-sleepers wait until the child outgrows it.

This will probably be unpopular but I would be encouraging him to sleep independently at this age if he will sleep in his cot. There are lots of bedtime routines you could devise with stories, singing, head stroking before he goes into the cot that could be a special time for you and ds. If you are back to work soon you might want some solid sleep and if he is sleeping independently this might help to achieve this eventually. Just my opinion though, whatever makes you happy

I started Co sleeping when DS was 8 months (he had a really high temperature and it was the easiest way to keep tabs on him) and kept going till he was two and a bit. Part way in I jury- rigged a bedside cot arrangement (base of my bed on the floor, cot minus one side screwed t to my bed). We both slept loads better and I actually had no problem at all with his sleep patterns when I eventually moved into a different room - he's actually always been a really good sleeper (which may well just be coincidental, but it's certainly not true that if you cosleep you're going to have trouble getting tgem into their own bed later).

He sleeps as well in his cot as in his bedside one (i.e. wakes up loads!) The new cot has two levels (it's the Ikea Gulliver if anyone has experience of it?) and the toddler level is very low so maybe we could put it at that level and our mattress down and it would make it easier for him to sleep in the cot if it doesn't work out?

We're not getting much sleep anyway- we had been recently talking about putting him in his own room as I'm not sure we aren't disturbing him but this has given me pause for thought :(

In terms of a new routine (I'm sorry I'm not addressing people directly, I'm on my phone and can only see what I'm typing), my stupidly long commute means I won't get home until 6.30 every day, and he goes to bed at 6.45-7pm. It's not a lot of time for a book etc routine. He goes to his cot awake but sleepy and I sing, hold hands etc.

I co sleep and I love it. A vote here for doing what makes you happy!

I vote do what makes you happy too.

At that age DS wouldn't have slept for he was in with me, nor would I have enjoyed it but I am not you! Sounds like a good way of spending some time with him.

I guess putting him on the floor with the low cot and sleepyhead wouldn't be so different to the bedside crib. We can't actually have him in with us as he will only sleep in the sleepyhead and the bed's not big enough for all three. But he would be as good as in bed with us that close.

We only started Co sleeping when dd was about four months old (due to dreaded sleep regression). She went to bed in her own cot and we brought her into our bed when she woke. She grew out of it by 18 months as she stopped waking in the night, and at 2.5 only sleeps in our bed when she's poorly.

We have a king-size bed and there's plenty of room for three plus a cat

X post about the bed, sorry!

We changed to cosleeping around 1 with Ds, for quite similar reasons of going back to work. Worked great for us, he slept much better, & bedtime was happy instead of a daily battle. Same safety rules as for a small baby I'd think, make sure there's nowhere he can fall or get trapped or get stuck under bedclothes. A lovely way to be connected at night when you can't be in the day.

If it makes you both happy then do it. They're only little for such a short space of time and I feel your pain about going back to work and not seeing him. DD is in her own room but if she wakes in the night (and she sleeps through more often than not) I'll put her in bed with me for the rest of the night. She settles better and I love being with her - everyone's a winner

Personally I would try to be aware of what you feel you want to do for you, versus what is more helpful to your DS in the long run. I totally appreciate that you feel you've missed out on bonding time when he was very small because of your ill-health, but the best thing for your DS long-term is for him to learn to self-settle and sleep independently. I found we all slept better once DD went into her own room, less disturbance and I was able to sleep a bit deeper because she wasn't right next to me.
The time just before returning to work can be quite intense, I hope it all goes well for you.

Ipsy, that's great if you slept better with DD in her own room - we slept better with DC in my bed, so that's great for us too.

The long run is not the problem in my experience. As they get older they naturally sleep better. For us for example night wakings lasted till we night weaned. Needing company at bedtime till 3ish. Enjoying company at bedtime if on offer still, but then that goes for me too I'm not seeing this long run bogeyman.

The short run is the decision to be made - are you all happier cosleeping or not? Does cosleeping currently cause more or less night wakings and do they bother you? Do you need your own space now? next year? or no rush?

So we've actually done the opposite and are trying him in his room tonight :( Neither of us wanted to but it's clear we're waking him up and we're on our knees with tiredness. I feel awful.

I think that's probably for the best in the long run you might have a hard few nights ahead but once he's used to being in there you'll all feel better. I can't see how co sleeping would work for you if you only get in from work at 6.30 and he goes to bed shortly after

He only woke up twice! Woo!