Any tips for putting a newborn down?

[Gingernut81]

DD is 3 days old today & DH & I are struggling with the fact that we can't put her down at all. Perhaps we were naive but it never occurred to us that she would want to be held 24/7.
We keep trying to put her in her Moses basket but she's having none of it. As soon as we put her down she wakes up, the most she's lasted is 4 minutes!
We've used a hot water bottle to warm it, put a t-shirt of husbands in it plus hung my dressing gown off the side so she can smell us but nothing works. I even took the mattress out, got her to sleep on it then tried to put back in - nothing has worked!
Does anyone have any suggestions? DH & I were wondering about investing in a co sleeper cot - has anyone found this better?
Any advice would be grateful as we're completely clueless right now!

It's one of those things they grow out of I'm afraid, just do what you need to do to survive the first few weeks

Been there struggled through that! Our DD was the same. Like you it hadn't occurred to us that she wouldn't sleep in her moses basket!

What worked for us:
We took it in 3 hour shifts to stay up with her. Not ideal but meant we shared the burden.
We used the pram cot as a transition. Warmed it with water bottle and put in a top smelling of me. Also used a music/lights toy which helped.
She did go in her basket after about 2 weeks so it will pass.

I wish we had got a co sleeping cot though, I've heard amazing things about them. If we're ever daft enough to have another one, then I'd definitely go for that.

Good luck and enjoy the snuggle stage - my DD is 12 weeks now and less interested in snuggling!

Both mine were a bit like this. I slept with DD in the spare double bed. She slept on me in the day.
DS loved the sling. I also had a swing that rocked him to sleep.
It's exhausting.

I used to wrap DD in a cotton sheet whilst feeding her so the shock of the mattress wasn't cold. However, if we have another DC, I'd definitely get a co-sleeper cot.

Mine was like this, although she had reflux so that contributed. We ended up putting the cot up in our room with a sleepyhead pod inside.

She would sleep in the basket all day, just not at night!

I have a co-sleeper cot which means I can hold DDs hand until she falls asleep. It worked for us so I would highly recommend.

It wasn't instant success though. The first night we got her back from the hospital she wouldn't go down, so me and DP took it in turns to stay up with her (sitting on the sofa in the lounge). When the midwife came the next day she said it's actually much more dangerous to do this, than to have her in bed with you. Very few babies have died when co-sleeping in bed apparently. Most SID deaths are caused by having them with you on the sofa and you accidentally fall asleep (I guess you are so tired it just happens no matter how hard you try and fight it) and then roll on them and suffocate them

I did properly co-sleep (with her in my actual bed) in the early days a couple of times as it was the only way any of us were going to get any sleep. I was terrified but both my NCT course and the midwife said it was safe if EBFing and if you do something called 'the safe C' (I'm sure you can google it). If you're not EFBing then I don't think it's safe to do.

Other than that just keep doing what you're doing with the hot water bottle and the t-shirt and eventually she will go down. The co-sleeper so you can hold onto her hand as she drifts off helps IME as it lets her know you're still there and settles her a bit.

www.nct.org.uk/parenting/co-sleeping-safely-your-baby

Thanks for all the replies! Nothing you read prepares you for the reality of it
On a positive note I managed to get her to settle in her carrycot for just over an hour this morning, small steps I suppose!

In the day I used to use a sling or put baby in his pram wrapped in a blanket and push him around the house depending on which room I was in. At night we co-slept for the first 3 weeks, although for the first few nights he slept laying across my tummy/chest with me laying on my back - not exactly safe but the only way I could get some rest!

Co sleep. It's the only way to get some rest!

I think we were afraid of co-sleeping because of all the negativity surrounding SIDS but so many people seem to find it useful. Even the midwife today said she wasn't allowed to recommend it but didn't say don't do it whereas she point blank told us not to sleep with DD on the sofa.
Smallbear please could you explain what the safe c is? I googled and the only information I could find was on the nct website but very vague!

Few tips;

Peanut swaddle (buy in boots)
Cuddle, dummy and shh pat to sleep
Once sleeping hold for 20 minutes then put down very slowly and steadily

Avoid overtiredness. Once awake for 45 minutes start settling to sleep again. They really should feed, burp and sleep at 3 days. By the time they seem tired they're usually passed it.

Congrats and enjoy. It's a roller coaster

With swaddling they seem to hate it but relax after a couple of minutes. It really helps as they're not being put somewhere cold and it helps the startle reflex.

www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26672.0

www.mybabysleepguide.com/2013/02/average-sleep-charts-by-age.html?m=1

You can tell when a baby is properly asleep by lifting their arm. If it's limp, you're safe to put down.

Read up on baby sleep cycles as a PP mentioned - by the time they're showing 'tired' signs it's usually too late and they're overtired and harder to settle.

Hi OP.

You put your body in a C shape. Lie on you side making a C shape with you body, so you are curled around you baby. Arms are stretched out by your head and knees together and brought up to create a C shape. I hope that makes sense. If I was speaking to you in real life I would just demonstrate lol. If you're BF'ing your hormones mean you sleep really lightly and are very in-tune to your baby so you will wake up, cause no harm etc. You must make sure the baby is not in-between you and your husband, as he doesn't have the same hormones so he will be sleeping more deeply and there's a chance he could roll onto the baby. That's what we were told on NCT anyway. We were all a bit surprised due to SIDs guidelines, but the teacher insisted it is fine to co-sleep if the safe sleeping guidelines are followed. Women all over the world... Africa, Japan do it apparently.

Second the swaddle as well (Gro Swaddles are good) and yes don't try and put the baby down too soon - if their arm is limp they are in a deep enough sleep (takes about 20 minutes for the sleep to be deep enough). It's so tempting to to put them down sooner when you're so tired, but it's counterproductive. Congratulations on your new arrival and good luck!

I found a picture

i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee159/lintpicker/pillow-positions-1.jpg

I had the same thing. The first thing to keep telling yourself is that it will pass, and quicker than you think (I used to think that everything would last forever and then panic thinking "I can put up with this for a bit but I can't live like this forever"). Then as ways of getting through the next few weeks, what worked for me was: cosleeping (was BFing and looked up how to do it safely, bought myself some very thick pjs so I didn't freeze with no duvet on me), got a sling for during the day, and (realise this is not an option for everybody and was very lucky but in the interests of full disclosure) got my mum to move in for a month and she looked after me while I sat inert with baby sleeping on me while watching TV. Finally got a Sleepyhead and baby went into that at about 6 weeks old - it was fantastic and I wish I had bought one sooner. Hope that helps, it really will pass quickly, I promise!

Oh, and I swaddled too but with arms out, as baby hated full swaddle with arms in.

If you can afford it the sleepy head does work (the most expensive cushion you will ever buy) day and night and i can see it will be really useful to help transition into the big cot. I also used a swaddlepod as I couldnt get the hang of swaddling. She is 12 weeks now and no longer takes to being Swaddled but was great while it lasted. Good luck.

Thanks again for all the advice, especially the photo small bear, it's really appreciated.

I swaddled, too, and held on to baby for a while after putting down, like nottheop said. I also kept my hand on their head for a while - mine seemed to like having something against the top of their head - like in the womb.
Hurrah for a nap in the carrycot

The sleepyhead does resell very well, I sold mine no problem. Maybe have a look on some second hand sites?

I (like an overpreparing lunatic) bought BOTH a Sleepyhead Deluxe AND a Cocoonababy. The Cocoonababy is much better. It's much firmer and it can be moved with the baby in it without deforming iykwim, so they can sleep in their bed on the kitchen table or bathroom floor or in their cot just as well as beside you.