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Pinching as falling asleep - herself and us

2 replies

ohthegoats · 14/09/2015 13:17

My daughter is 11 months, and even though she was an appalling sleeper, things have improved a lot over the last month or so since she's started walking and eating more. She can now be put in her cot on about 50% of occasions awake, and she'll put herself to sleep (for naps and for the night). The rest of the time we hold her, or sometimes rock her until she falls asleep.

The issue is that her method of self soothing, or soothing in general, is to pinch skin between her fingers, and rub it. Like you would the tab/tag on a label. It's disappointing that I have this sort of skin on my neck really, but there you go!! She also does that to herself - pinching her own neck. It's at the point where she sees a bottle, and starts pinching her neck.

We've tried everything to get her to pinch something not human, but it doesn't work in the same way (or at all). Jelly cat type things have been sort of all right, but now she just plays with them. The pinching of us is SO painful, I've got holes in my neck from her nails, even though I keep them filed.

Any ideas? If you hold her hands down she just yells until you give up and let her get back to pinching.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Thebirdsneedseeds · 14/09/2015 13:20

Bumping.

DS did this too. And when he was younger, about same age as your DD, he would pull his hair as he fell asleep. A great handful in the same spot, pull pull pull then asleep.

FATEdestiny · 14/09/2015 14:45

If you consider that the soothing method is doing her or you harm, then really you just have to be harsh and stop it. Not allow her to do it.

You've mentioned this pinching before and I know you've tried allsorts to transfer it. But if that just isn't happening then it will be safest for you and her to stop allowing her to do it and deal with the upset that creates.

If consistent and she quickly learns that she can no longer pinch, then she should (hopefully) develop something new that she does.

If this was me then I would stop all pinching of me (or anyone else), on the basis that hurting someone else is unacceptable even when completely not malicious. Then if she wants to do it to herself she can, or she can develop something else to do to sooth when being held.

It might be that she only won't accept something non-human to pinch because she knows that she can pinch your skin instead and that is better. If that option is removed, she may consider alternates.

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