Utterly frustrated with 12month old fighting sleep

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DS is 12 months old, just learning to walk and is on a sleep strike! He wakes at 5am, unrested, cranky. Then he won't nap in the morning (just pull himself to stand then start to cry). He crashes at 11am but sometimes only for 1 hour. If I sleep beside him and I notice him stirring, I can get him to go back to sleep by slipping the paci into his mouth. He's always exhausted by 5:30pm too tired to eat a good supper and then I'm putting him to bed at 6:30pm only to start the cycle over again! He's also sleeping much less soundly at night because he cries out several times (which is a new thing). My pediatrician says babies his age always get the sleep they need but clearly DS is very overtired all time and has trouble taking good naps. I should mention, he has always slept alone in his crib for naps and bedtime and is capable of falling asleep on his own the co-sleeping at naptime is something I've tried recently out of sheer desperation to get him to nap longer. I'm frustrated because DH and MIL say I'm fostering a bad sleep habit by co-sleeping, while my mother says "do whatever works". I just want my baby to be well-rested and stop having to go to bed so exhausted at 6:30pm!!! Please any advice???!!!

You have my sympathy! Ds (now 14 months) has never been a good sleeper so I know how exhausted you must be. He goes to bed at 6 and is ready to start the day at about 6.30am but wakes up many times during the night. He only has one 1hr nap during the day too.

Nothing helpful to say really - I tend to agree with your mum though - you have to get through each day and, if co-sleeping helps, then great!

I think I'm going to "do what works" for now because honestly, despite what the books and DH and MIL say, DS's naps have been over 2 hours this way. This is much better for me since I get to rest (and am pregnant and need it), and have a much more cheerful, rested baby during the day who sleeps better that night. I just have to wonder . . . if he gets used to this will he ever take naps in his own cot again? As a sidebar, I think MIL may discourage it for the obvious reason that she looks after DS twice per week and is worried that he may not nap well for her (yesterday his nap was only 1 hour at her place when she's had the good fortune of enjoying 2 hour naps in the past -- DS would do that for her but never for me!).

I don't have a solution either, and also give my sympathies: we have a 15m old who has never slept well. Do what you have to do. Don't worry about teaching him bad habits, because if you've got a baby on the way everything will change anyway! Co-sleeping can be a lovely cosy thing, so hopefully you're both enjoying it. Hopefully you might be getting a nap too!

Good luck, try and hold it together, and if you find a magic solution to let us know!

Thanks so much for your kind email Impatience! I do really enjoy napping with him, and I'm sick of pandering to all those who say "you ought to do . . ." when it comes to raising him (with the exception of DH whom I'd like to have a unified front with). The way I see it is no one else has to get through my day except me, so I think I'd be wise to start doing what works best for me . It's nice to have support through fellow mumsnetters!

FWIW, my ds went through a phase where he was waking up 10+ times each night. He ended up in bed with me because he slept much better and I just couldn't function well on such disturbed sleep. He did go back into his own cot quite easily after a few weeks, so I wouldn't worry too much about co-sleeping being a problems for you. Of course, every child is different, but I don't thikn you need to worry too much atm. As Impatience said, everything will change soon anyway. Good luck & enjoy your naps!