Bedsharing

[ParsleyCake]

I bedshare with my three month old son, and have done so since he was 1 month old. We didn't plan on it but for various reasons it was the best choice for us.

Although I am now comfortable with my choice (though previously I would have been horrified) its hard not to share blankets (which I read is unsafe) and so I have decided to move my baby into a side car style crib (we bought the Chicco Next2Me) but so far its not working. Baby feels the absence of my warmth and wakes and cries, even though we are about 10 inches apart. Then I have to try to put him to sleep again, either by feeding or cuddling.

I just wonder if its really so bad to share blankets? He never seems to overheat, and having him near means I find myself subconsciously monitoring his breathing. What we are doing just feels so natural and right. Not only that but he will be my only child and I'm so reluctant to give up our snuggling when he's small for so short a time. Advice?

Also the Next2Me crib has not been so helpful. By design the baby's mattress is about 2 inches lower than our mattress, meaning that we can't really snuggle and he has to be moved into my bed for breastfeeding due to the length of the cot and the position of his head and my breast.

I hate to be blunt, but it's not about overheating. It is about suffocation risk.

A cardie or fleece on your top half can work well.

I find it hard to breastfeed in any position with more than a t shirt on. Maybe I just have smaller breasts but with the jumper bunched under my armpit so he can get to my nipple its kind of covering his breathing area

I'm not sure on the blanket bit, but could you still bed share but with the crib still against your bed with him between you and the crib so he's still in your bed snuggled up next to you but can't roll out, and you can tuck your duvet/sheet whatever under you so he can still have his own and also your warmth next to you?

Oh wait sorry you mean sleep with the blanket around my waist andfleece top instead of blanket on upper half? That wayI can lay next to him without bringing my duvet close?

shoopshoopsong that would work well actually

How about baby in a sleep grow bag on top of the covers but cuddled right up to you? I co sleep and find with it being summer (sort of) and 3 of us in bed I'm warm enough with the quilt at waist height but understand if you're not comfortable with this.

SilverHoney I had the quilt at waist height before but it's getting colder where I am hence looking for a solution. I think I will def try a gro bag though

Grobag and cot barrier worked quite well for us for a while. Best of luck

I bedshare with my 8 month old DS and had the same problem with a side cot. It was still too far away and he was cold.

He wears a grobag, sometimes a blanket tucked over that too. I wear a long sleeved top and tuck the duvet tightly under me at chest level, roughly and curl up round him on my side. I specifically found a fleece long sleeve top for the colder months. I do sit up to bf him though - boobs not big enough to feed lying down.

Hope that helps. Oh, I use a bedguard too.

I wear thin thermal tops - M&s or uniqlo heat tech. Scoop neck, long sleeved and v stretchy so can just pull Boob out of the top and the rest of my upper body stays warm. Then duvet round waist and baby in growbag

I ditched the side-carred cot at around six months. DD was wriggling so much in her sleep before I went through to bed that she was moving onto my mattress and down past the bottom edge of the cot. I was worried she would get her head/neck trapped. I also never managed to do lying down feeding with the cot as couldn't get close enough/wrap round her. I went to stay at my mums when she was five months and ended up properly bed sharing as DD wouldn't sleep in the travel cot and realised how much I love being right next to her, and how much easier it is. We also worked out the lying down feeding on that trip.

We now have a double mattress on the floor with foam bumpers (bought online, Google 'British bed bumper') under the sheet all around it. DD sleeps in a Grobag (or less if very hot) I wrap my duvet round me at waist/chest height and wear a button through nightdress/pyjamas/cardigan depending on temperature. Thinnish, firm pillow positioned mostly behind my head and away from her.