in need of a little help

[sparkle87]

Hi everyone,
I'm desparately in need of some guidance.

To be honest, I'm not sure how we got to this stage, but this is currently where I'm at.

I have a 12 week old DD exclusively breastfed. I am extremely grateful she is a healthy happy baby, happy that is until napping and bedtime.

I know a lot of parents struggle with babies sleep, but DD won't sleep unless she's on my breast. During the day, I have to take her out in the carrier and not the pram as she has to be on my boob and will then sleep as I walk, otherwise she will continuously cry and cannot be soothed. As she is getting older, she does like to look around but will eventually cry and search for my breast after about 30 minutes.

At night despite having a routine for a few weeks (bath, massage, feed and cuddles), she cries every night from 6 pm until she sleeps (somewhere between 7 and 8:30) refuses my breast only to be rocked to sleep with the hairdryer on, or several attempts at breastfeeding which can take up to 2 hours.

We also started co-sleeping as it was the only way I could get DD to sleep from around 2 weeks of age. She does sometimes fall asleep after feeding and I'll put her in the moses next to my bed, but more often than not during her 3 or 4 night wakings for feeding she will sleep next to me.

I thought my DD had colic as she has bad wind pains and farts a lot. She burps easily and I burp after every feed. My DD won't take a dummy and so I have always given her my breast to soothe her when she is in pain.

Then I thought she had silent reflux as she was bringing up milk only to swallow it and also looked in pain with the crying from 6pm - so I started timing my feeds to ensure she got enough and kept her upright after each feed.

None of these things have worked and I feel like I'm right back at the beginning.

I just want to do right for my little girl and stop this evening crying session and be able to take her out in her pram without her getting so upset.

I know I am at fault for a lot of these things which is why I am reaching out. I am a first time parent and I don't get a lot of support from her father or anyone and I am with DD 24/7 so if anyone can implement change I can.

Thank you in advance.

Hiya,

I wish I had some advice but honestly it sounds like you're doing everything I would suggest!

The thing to remember is that the first few months are the 4th trimester and she is wanting lots of extra comfort. It will settle down soon and it won't last forever! (Even though it seems like it!)

You sound like you're doing an excellent job and being a very soothing attentive parent, even when it's ridiculously hard sometimes!

Stay strong! It will get better soon!!! Xx

Ps we put our DS on infant gaviscon and it changed him into a angry cry baby into a happy baby! Maybe see your GP and discuss the silent reflux?

Thank you, jenhad84, for your reply.

It is really refreshing to hear that. Thanks also for the advice on infant gaviscon. I tried infacol and it seemed to make DD reflux worse so i stopped it.

Everytime I raise this with the GP and health visitor I'm told it's normal and this should go within 3-4 months.

I think i need to put more pressure on them but they seem uninterested if it is "silent" reflux even though it is distressing my baby.

Hi Sparkle,

Sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time of it

My DS can be a bit of a nightmare sleeper so I sympathise. He still isn't great at going down for naps during the day, so not sure I can offer much advise in that respect, but is getting better at night.

Have you tried cutting certain things out of your diet to see if this helps? I've found that my DS is really windy and gripey after I've had garlic so I've stopped eating it and he has been much better. I know others have found things like onions, dairy or tomatoes cause issues but I think its a case of trial and error.

Have you also tried gripe water? I found this worked much better than infacol for my DS although it a little trickier to administer (I use a Calpol dispenser thing)

Can you push to see a different GP regarding the silent reflux? I've read various accounts where certain GPs have been very dismissive of silent reflux so it may be worth trying a different GP if possible, or being more insistent as you've said if not.

As your DD gets older her digestive system will mature and she should get better (fingers crossed!!) - I certainly noticed a difference around the 13 week mark with my DS (although he can still be very windy some days for no apparent reason!)

But as PP said, you're doing everything right and a lot of babies just like that closeness in the first few months, which can be very tough and overwhelming at times (I had a little wobble yesterday!) but I've been reassured it does get better.

X

Hi Daffodil,

Thanks for your reply. I'm sorry you're going through a similar thing with your DS.

I will definitely try cutting out the foods you mentioned and hopefully will see a difference.

Good to hear your DS's digestive problems seemed to clear up by 13 weeks. That isn't long at all so fingers crossed my DD sees an improvement.

It's awful seeing her in pain when I feel like I can't do anything to remove it.

X