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Sleep

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Original poster

Please remind me I'm not the only one!

25 replies

MusicMum18 · 10/09/2015 20:46

Hi,
I know this sounds silly but sometimes I feel like I'm the only mum who is getting up a million times in the night. My lo is 4.5 months, is it normal to still be having loads of sleepless nights? I just feel like I'm running on empty all the time and I'm exhausted.
I suppose I just wants to hear from a few mums that are in the same boat, so that when I get up I can think that I'm not the only one!
When I'm out, I see other mums that look fresh with their lo's good as gold. My lo is a wriggler, is usually calm but she does have occasional screaming fits, I think she is teething though, it's like she gets a sharp pain, poor thing!

OP posts:

Purpleboa · 10/09/2015 23:09

You're definitely not the only one! My DD is 11 weeks and shows absolutely no sign of wanting to sleep through the night anytime soon. I had that feeling yesterday after a grand total of 1 hour's sleep (thanks to baby having her first cold). Someone on Facebook commented on my status about lack of sleep, helpfully pointing out that their baby loves to sleep and hadd let through the night at the same age. Well, seeing that made me lose it a bit! I was so upset and felt so alone.

But we are NOT alone! Looking on here you can see evidence of that. I'm convinced that babies who do sleep through are an aberration. Oh and in baby world, nothing stays the same - so today's perfect sleeper may be tomorrow's nightmare child. Sorry, but I find that thought very comforting

I'm sure you've tried everything and I wouldn't know what to suggest. Just wanted you to know you are not alone - I'm here on first waking of the night (got her down at 8.30, she's woken at 23.00 and despite me going to bed at the same time, typically I've not slept a wink. I really, really hate bedtimes now).

Sending hugs and

DextersMistress · 10/09/2015 23:14

DS is almost 5 and still doesn't sleep. I'm still waiting for the magical time it gets better...

Sorry, not much help there! But you're definitely not alone

Purpleboa · 10/09/2015 23:29

God Dexter that's worrying to hear! Poor you. I often wonder how different this parenting experience would be if I was actually getting some decent sleep from time to time. Just feeling so fed up. Day 2 of DD's cold and things are no better. Times like this I question my decision to have become a parent. It's just so very hard and I don't feel I'm coping as well as others seem to with the sleep deprivation

Original poster

MusicMum18 · 11/09/2015 04:20

Well it's 4am and DD just fed and now thinks it's playtime argggghh!! The thing I find so hard is that I thought I was making progress with her when she was sleeping 3 hr chunks now it's back to square one.
I've never felt such total exhaustion, dexter I know how you feel!
People keep telling me it gets easier but the thought of just 1 night of deep, uninterrupted sleep feels like a dream.
We just have to keep going the Los can't help it xxxx

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ReRegRhonda · 11/09/2015 04:43

Could be the 4 month sleep regression, I am so there! Luckily it isn't forever. Best of luck

thinkfast · 11/09/2015 05:06

I'll join the torture of being up with a newborn club ??

12 week old dd not showing any signs of sleeping longer - she was premature, is small and likes to snack. Some nights/days are worse than others. I'm tempted to blow all my savings on s night nurse - I feel a few hours continuous sleep would make all the difference, but not sure I could sleep leaving the baby with a stranger

Ps with 2 kids this is s totally new level of hell

monkey2014 · 11/09/2015 07:16

Me too! I dont know anyone up as often as me in the night in 'real life'. Antenatal friend i saw the other day told me how tired she was because shed stayed up till 1 to watch a film and then baby woke at 7 for a feed before sleeping again till 10. It doesnt help that everything wriiten about babies says great, 3 months youll be sleeping through now!

Thinkfast i often think about whether i could cope if we had another!

Original poster

MusicMum18 · 11/09/2015 08:00

Ha yes I would love another, but I have no idea how people cope with 2! Or how I would cope! Mind you I suppose if you're up with one, where's the extra work when you're already up? Or am I being naive?!
I think it must be easier for women who live in outside communities where women elders, grandparents etc can help out! And the getting up, rocking etc is all shared. It's hard because in the uk we live in separate houses so it feels like we're alone with the sleep deprivation!!
Thinkfast, I strangely find that if I get a better nights sleep I feel horrendous the next day, think I might be used to lack of sleep and my body can't cope when it sees what lovely sleep I could have!
Thanks for the reassurance that I'm not the only one, I see other mums out looking as fresh as daisies telling me how their babies sleep through, drives me nuts but like someone said it won't last, babies seem to get into a pattern and then change it when you've just got the hang of things!
Xxxx

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Liskee · 11/09/2015 09:27

You're totally not alone! I have a nearly 9 month old who still likes to waken in the night at least a few times a week. Add to that my own pregnancy and baby related sleep issues, the fact that I've put on weight and not lost it since having my munchkin, and a serious lack of nice clothes as the only ones I wear are functional and food covered and I can safely say I'm no longer the fresh faced woman I once was!! It does get easier. Or you get more used to it. Or both. You find your ways of coping and changing things-be it co-sleeping, controlled crying or naps during the day. I've learnt to be more gentle with myself. Our house is a tip...ah well, we went for a walk and to tots group today. DS ate cabbage and liked it and he took 3 steps holding my hands. He slept 1.5 hrs this afternoon and I got to have a coffee in peace. VICTORY!! I know that in a few years I'll look back and think how did we ever do that?! So hold tight. Be kind to yourself. Get sleep where you can and above all remember this is not permanent. Your life will not always be like this!

GreenRug · 11/09/2015 09:34

Op you are not alone (I wish you were ).

I have 3dc, youngest 15 months, wakes at least once a night, sometimes twice and is up for the day at 5 usually. Add dh and i working full time, a 5yo and 3yo into the mix and i am beyond the beyonds of exhaustion. I haven't slept properly in almost 6 years. Sob sob :-(

thinkfast · 11/09/2015 09:36

2 can feel like torture. Bedtimes and mornings are the worst

This morning is just managed to get dd back to sleep at 6 following a 4am wake up and ds bounds in at 6.30 asking for breakfast.

At bedtimes he just wants a bit of attention and a story from his mum but I'm dancing around the room with a colicky baby and we can't talk properly over her cries.

So easy to feel like I've gone wrong somewhere but I know it will get easier as baby gets bigger

slightlyconfused85 · 11/09/2015 09:43

I'm on my second - he is 8 weeks and waking once at the moment. He wakes for his morning feed, however, at 5.30/6 and by the time I've convinced him to go back to sleep, if at all, todder Dd is up for the day. On a bad night DS wakes for no reason at all a couple of times, won't feed just fancies a cry. It gets better, it does. I remember the desperation with dd but she did go through quite suddenly one day.

Original poster

MusicMum18 · 11/09/2015 10:15

I don't feel so alone now, thanks everyone! Liskee I went for walk yesterday, this older man asked me if I was pregnant with my 2nd!! I replied no but I would like a 2nd baby one day. I also pointed out that I had recently given birth. He then said "sorry my mistake you're just well built! " . Normally I would've answered back but I was soooo tired I came home and just cried because I felt so fat. Dh pointed out that I gave birth 4.5 months ago, but I only fit into my maternity clothes still my other clothes are too small. Don't want to fork out on new clothes as I have a ridiculous hope that I will get into my original clothes! I had vomit on my shoulders and white stains where I have wiped dds vomit off! I know I looked a mess but how insensitive. Men have no idea at all. To be honest he was a bit of a perv I asked him about his time in the armed forces and he just told me about all his girlfriends etc. weirdo.

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Liskee · 11/09/2015 10:38

MusicMum18 this sounds like the story of my life ;)

slightlyconfused85 · 11/09/2015 11:19

Musicmum he sounds like a proper twat. Do not give it another thought; baby weight will come off not that it even matters. It gets better it gets better (repeat a million times a day)

Pinkpowderpuff · 11/09/2015 12:10

I'm still waiting for my 17 month old to get better....... Sorry.....

BumWad · 11/09/2015 19:09

You are defo not alone! My preemie 5 week old is a regular waker and feeder through the night.

Original poster

MusicMum18 · 11/09/2015 19:28

I am really feeling the love now from fellow, sleep deprived mummies! Last night lo decided that it was time to play at 4am! Took me 2 hours to feed then get her to sleep! Then an hour later and it was usual wake up time! Arrrgggghhhhhh first time she's done that fingers crossed for tonight.

By the way who invented the words 'yummy mummy'? Do these yummy mummies exist? Xxxx

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slightlyconfused85 · 11/09/2015 19:38

Yeah they do. They have nannies/home help or are celebrities. Everyone else feels like you!

TiesThatBind · 11/09/2015 21:34

I am also struggling with sleep deprivation. DS1 is nearly two, wakes once or twice a week during the night, and is up for the day at 530 or 6am (if I am lucky).

DS2 is two months, feeds every three hours and from 3/4am onwards is impossible to settle, and needs to be held constantly. I really really thought I might get a sleeper this time round [sob]

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer · 11/09/2015 21:41

My first slept through at 11 months but woke at 5 for another few months.

My second woke every 2 hours to 21 months.

My 16 month old is a law unto himself.

Hang in there. The big ones sleep great now. I hang onto the comforting thought that they are the most amazing children on the face of the earth.

Read the thread about daft things we've done when tired if you need a boost.

BumWad · 12/09/2015 09:42

It should say preemie 15 week old!!! Ack he's 16 week old today

Kim82 · 12/09/2015 09:44

Definitely not alone. My almost 14 month old was up 4 times between 12.30 and 6am last night. My other 3 were great sleepers, no idea where I went wrong with this one...

Piazzapiola · 12/09/2015 19:18

DS1 (now 3.1yo) woke every 1.5hrs every night until he was 14mo.

DS2 is 10mo and sleeps all night. He also nurses all night, but he sleeps curled up in my armpit so I'm managing to survive...!!

You. Are. Not. Alone!!

Original poster

MusicMum18 · 14/09/2015 03:37

Kim82 you've not done anything wrong!!! from the looks of it babies are all different some sleep some don't! It just seems like from what other mums say here that it's basically about survival and trying to remind yourself that one day, eventually they will sleep!

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