Hi, I feel your pain.... Sleep deprivation is awful.... A special kind of torture! As for your baby, I too wouldn't worry about day time naps yet... If she sleeps a bit then excellent, I would leave her to do that and not try and enforce further sleep during the day, especially not if it's taking such a long time, although I do believe if babies sleep well in the day, they sleep well at night. Does she sleep in a push chair or car seat? Would that help if you went for a walk at nap time?
As for the night, I know you are breast feeding but have you tried a large bottle feed at abut 10 pm? Just to fill your baby up to give her the best chance to sleep through for a few hours?
I agree with other posters about putting her down drowsy, soothing music or singing a particular song over and over, shushing and patting or back stroking.
How much real food is she getting? I think when they start to actually take in a decent amount of protein and carbs, such as porridge or mashed potato or similar, then that helps them sleep longer at night.
I do think that frequent night feeding is definitely a habit and often especially by 6 months is not necessary, it is just for comfort or routine and habits can be broken.
Have you tried a water feed from a bottle at night? They soon realise that it's not worth waking up if they aren't going to get the good stuff!
Also, plenty of posters will say, don't leave them to cry, it's cruel, etc, etc. BUT it is entirely up to you and your husband. Your baby will not remember when she is older and a well rested parent is crucial in your relationship with your baby. It also depends Upon the age of the baby. I wouldn't leave a tiny baby as crying is how they communicate but at 6 months, I would and have.
It is not easy to leave a crying baby..... All your instincts are telling you to go in and offer comfort, whether that is a cuddle or a breast feed. It is REALLY hard to leave them to cry..... It's awful.
Perhaps your could try some suggestions here and if you feel very uncomfortable with leaving them to cry, you could wait until she is a bit older, 8 or 9 months maybe and feeding well on solids and give it another go?
I have 3 children and they were all slightly different.
My oldest was a good eater of solid food so I offered water during the night from about 7 months old which worked quite quickly. She also had a dummy which helped her self settle. My second daughter was a less good eater so I waited a little longer, maybe 8 or 9 months but again, water in the night worked well. She wouldn't take a dummy and didn't really want to be cuddle or shushed, she just would stand u and start looking around so I avoided picked her up out of the cot at all and sometime just put a hand on her.
I am currently trying to break the cycle we have got into with my DS, 9 months who is still sleeping in our room as we are having building work done, who wakes during the night frequently and seems to require feeding each time. We have fallen into bad habits for various reasons but now need to tackle it. Tonight is the first night of water....he cried and screamed and wasn't going to settle, I went into his room ( he finally got moved out of our room last night) and picked him up and offered water which he took.. Occasionally he spat the bottle out and cried some more, thrashed around in my arms, took a bit more water, I shushed and patted , he took some more water, thrashed around a bit more, I sang songs and he was a bit calmer so I put him in his cot, he howled for a bit and all is now quiet. That all took about 30 minutes. I have no doubt he will wake up at about 3 am for more of the same!! It helps that my husband is away..... He can't take the crying and cracks and un does all my hard work!
I hope some or any of that helps. Just remember, this too shall pass. Keep us updated .