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Why does toddler cry out for me at night even though we co-sleep

3 replies

hobbeschild · 08/09/2015 19:40

I am bed-sharing with my son (2y 4m) after trying & failing to teach him to sleep alone. But he still wakes up multiple times per night yelling & grabbing for me, even though I am right there. What could this be? Nightmares? Over-tiredness? Not tired enough? Too cold? Indigestion? Anxiety that I might not be there like before? It happens nearly every night, but not all. I cannot figure out what is different about the days he does sleep well (and I analyse for a living!).

He swallows a lot of air when he drinks his milk, but does a ton of burps after. He eats a (healthy) hot evening meal but has 1.5hr to digest it before sleeptime.
He sleeps in a onesie because he kicks off covers and thrashes around in bags. He sleeps between us on top of the duvet.
We don't have a night light (it seems to make him wake more fully, so that he takes longer to go off again).
I'm not sure he gets enough fresh air & exercise (we're both over 40!) but he doesn't get badly behaved (a la an unwalked labrador). He's given up napping already.

He is not especially clingy, although he is a mummy's boy He's good-natured and fun and cuddly. He's quite probably spoilt in the sleeping department, but he doesn't always get his own way, is courteous and hardly ever tantrums. He is a bit sensitive and occasionally anxious. He sometimes tells me stories/videos/places are too scary. He is extremely articulate for his age.

Any clues?? I am shattered and just need some unbroken sleep. I knew a newborn would be tiring but this seems cruel and unusual now, to me. His peers are sleeping fine in their own rooms.

OP posts:
hobbeschild · 09/09/2015 16:37

Today he told me that Sleeping Bunnies is scary.
I'm thinking definitely a sensitivity/anxiety issue.

Anyone else dealt with this so young? If I ask him if he had a bad dream he doesn't have a scooby what I am on about.

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StubbleTurnips · 12/09/2015 08:41

hob I've just nearly started this post.DD co sleeps and is the same age, she suffers awful night terrors. Crocodiles last night Sad

We've had involvement from the sleep nurse and they advised that there isn't much you can do until they grow out of it. She said to calmly talk to DD when it starts to calm it down, and try not to pick her up or touch her. That can make the terror seem more real and upset them even more.

The thing we found helps quickest is to turn in the night garden on, the music settles her back down as its part of her routine before bed. Still takes about 20mins though.

It's awful for her, and us.

It was flies last week, also had dinosaurs and spiders.

hobbeschild · 14/09/2015 17:38

Thanks stubble. I don't think it's night terrors because he is easily consolable. Just wakes again 5 mins later - console, repeat - for about 2 hours. Usually from 1030 to 1230 just when I should be getting my deep sleep. By then I am past it and lie awake for a few more hours and then get a couple in before he wakes for the day.

I know what it's like waking from a nightmare, if you go straight to sleep again you often go back into it. It's like that.

I'm at a loss how to prevent them or handle them.

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