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Sleep

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Original poster

It's like baby crack!

21 replies

everynameinuse · 08/09/2015 14:31

I have a 4 month old. We have been co sleeping (unconventionally - I am upright and she's on her pillow!). The only reason that started was she had colic and the last thing you want to do after three hours of crying is upset her again by putting her in.....you got it, the crib!! Colic ended - very grateful. But, I am getting so little sleep it's not true. She constantly wakes me. She needs to suckle constantly. If she wakes and there's no nipple she panics. So, on off on off. This mean I keep getting let downs which she then drinks and so, most of her feeding now at night. Don't mind going plenty of night feeds but, there is a limit.

Anyway, not sleeping. Reaching breaking point. Happy to do as many night feeds as required as I know these will eventually dwindle. But, I need to get her off me between feeds and into a cot. Any suggestions as to how I keep her there longer than 20 minutes before she realises there's no nipple!?!! As I say it's like baby crack - that would probably an easier habit to break!
She won't take dummy. Too young for controlled crying.
Just keeping putting her back in after soothing until she gets the hint? Bloody kids!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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dementedDementor · 08/09/2015 14:41

How is she in the day, does she nap?

I sympathise op. I have a 13 month old who does not sleep much at all. Even in the newborn stage when they were supposed to only be awake for the odd 10 mins, she was awake an awful lot! At least then she didn't move so I could watch TV with her on my lap.

I've got better at cosleeping and she's on and off the breast a lot at night. I tried CC a few times but when she doesn't want to sleep she won't and it goes on for hours and hours.

She sometimes will go about 4 hours in her cot at night, those are good times. Babies are all so different. What works for one, won't necessarily work for another. (And nothing works for mine).

Sorry this is no help. When I saw your thread title I thought you were going to have a magic answer!

ffffffedup · 08/09/2015 14:42

Give her a dummy

dementedDementor · 08/09/2015 14:45

Says in the op that she won't take a dummy.

ffffffedup · 08/09/2015 14:48

Sorry posted too quickly. Try a few different types of dummy as they tend to have different teats. If you express will she feed from a bottle? Not a long term solution but could your dh or dm have the baby 1 night so you could at least catch up on some sleep?

Original poster

everynameinuse · 08/09/2015 14:52

Sorry no magic answer I'm afraid!! She has a couple of short naps in morning as we are running about after her sister and then we can sit and I can encourage a decent nap in the afternoon. Fairly regular routine which is good, but of course it's always on me, the giant pink pacifier!

Keep offering dummy, sometimes quite forcefully, but you'd think I was trying to poison her! It's like the bed of nails I try to put her on at night!!
I think I will begin by trying to stop her from settling on me. Maybe let her nurse to feed and even to comfort if she is upset but then back in cot. Repeat repeat repeat...... Kept hoping things would improve naturally but it's getting worse. She needs to learn to self soothe I guess....
Defective baby - why can't I have one that works properly!! Lol!

OP posts:

Original poster

everynameinuse · 08/09/2015 14:54

Yeah will try different dummies, thank you!
She's not all that impressed with bottle either. Another battle to take on!!

OP posts:

Original poster

everynameinuse · 08/09/2015 14:56

I sound like I am waging war against my baby!

OP posts:

BrandNewAndImproved · 08/09/2015 14:58

Have you tried rubbing the dummy in breast milk?

BrandNewAndImproved · 08/09/2015 14:59

Nipped shield instead of a dummy is another idea.

ffffffedup · 08/09/2015 14:59

If you could master a bottle then your dh could do 1 or 2 nights a week so you can get some sleep it will certainly benefit your well being lack of sleep is a killer. She's very young and you need to keep in the back of your mind it will not last forever

Original poster

everynameinuse · 08/09/2015 16:04

Thank you for all the ideas. Will give them a go!

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 08/09/2015 16:09

Why not just cuddle down and sleep together?

Fugghetaboutit · 08/09/2015 16:10

Yes try another dummy, my ds would only take a specific shape - the Mam ones that are bigger so not as easy to spit out.

Branleuse · 08/09/2015 16:23

any reason you cant co-sleep?

Some babies are fine with cots, but really not all of them, and if you value your sleep, i suggest just doing what baby wants to do, which is cuddle up with you and sleep in safety, like any other baby mammal would

Hellochicken · 08/09/2015 16:30

Could you co-sleep "normally" with both of you lying down. Or I have a cot attached to side of bed, with no cot side (and no gap) to allow easy moving of baby over to the cot or breastfeeding whilst she is in cot (only manage with 1 boob!).

Having day time naps in cot to get used to being in there?

starfish12 · 08/09/2015 18:31

Have you read the no cry sleep solution? The author talks about taking your boob out of babies mouth just before they fall asleep to help break the sucking to sleep association. Baby will fuss wanting the nipples back so give them it back and try again. Repeat, repeat, repeat - takes a lot of determination to not give in but eventually after a while they learn to fall asleep on their own (supposedly!)

PotteringAlong · 08/09/2015 18:33

I'd co sleep normally (no pillows or duvet) and just roll with it so you both get some sleep.

maymow · 08/09/2015 21:49

I really sympathise - I had exactly same situation when DD was about that age. I didn't mind co-sleeping, it was the constant need to suckle that was difficult as it meant (not) sleeping in an awkward position. I tried every dummy on the market - totally refused! I tried coaxing her out of it gently but no luck, thought it would never end but then she got a cold and couldn't breathe and suckle so kind of broke the habit herself over the course of a few nights... From there I didn't push it but tried the crib every so often and she got happier with that in her own time.

In short I spent a lot of time worrying, but I needn't have as she moved on when she was ready and with hardly any tears. I'm sure yours will too!

Binglesplodge · 08/09/2015 23:03

I'm sure this has occurred to you, but when are you offering the dummy? I agree with the previous poster who recommended the mam dummies - they are now a firm favourite with my breastfed 11 month old but at first the best way to get him using one was to sneak it in once he was asleep on the breast. Once feeding turned to stillness, with the occasional comfort suck, I'd gently unlatch him and pop in the dummy. Took a good week or more before it worked reliably but was an absolute game changer. He was about the same age as your little one and with exactly the same insistence on being fed to sleep then sleeping on the breast. He now happily goes into his cot wide awake, grabs his dummy and goes to sleep on his own. I promise yours will too, one day. Hope you can rest a bit in the meantime. It's so hard.

Binglesplodge · 08/09/2015 23:06

At night I also used to swaddle him before feeding him back to sleep. That way there was no change in body position or temperature when I lowered him millimetre by millimetre into his crib...

TinklyLittleLaugh · 08/09/2015 23:14

thumb?

The two of mine who sucked their thumbs were the two who were excellent sleepers.

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