3 month old has forced me into sleep training

[Spl0ink]

Overnight, my happy sleepy little baby suddenly refused point blank to fall asleep during the day. So after two days of an increasingly furious, overtired baby screaming at me, I went from a 'play-it-by-ear' form of parenting to a regimented sleep schedule of sleep rituals, wake-to-sleep interventions and complete house arrest.

It never occurred To me that this is how I'd be doing things - but I don't see what other choice i had.

To those that advocate later sleep training or none at all, how did you contend with nap fighting? Anyone else feel that theyve been pushed into sleep training by their baby? Any other experiences or tips to be shared?

:)

Sploink, what I would do in your situation is to try and establish a pattern of naps and not worry too much if they are in the cot at the moment. I remember (very clearly actually ) taking my dd out in the pram or sling for a long walk every day in the early afternoon, come rain come shine. This did wonders for my weight and whilst part of me would have loved to have been napping myself at that time and I still felt frustrated I had no "me" time, at least my daughter slept and was refreshed.

By about 6 months she was used to sleeping at the same time every day and was quite happy to go in her cot for that nap, or in the pram if I wanted to go out. What I'm saying is don't be too fixated on the cot just yet.

6 months is easier than 3 months, honest! By that age you could have a routine where baby gets up, has two hours awake, then a 45 minute nap, then 3 hours awake, then a 2 hour nap, then 4-5 hours awake, then sleep with perhaps a dream feed or one feed in the night.

What is your actual point ??

To you I was talking about a baby's ability (or not) to self settle Mintyy.

I am always surprised that people think little babies should automatically accept being put down to sleep in a big cot by themselves. My littly didn't sleep in her cot in the daytime til last month - 20m! (Though she's been sleeping in her cot at night since about 7m) When she was little she slept on me, in the sling, in the buggy. So a baby can get plenty of sleep without you being tied to the house, as long as you aren't tied to the idea of 'putting them down for their nap' in a cot at a particular time.

I remember (very clearly actually wink) taking my dd out in the pram or sling for a long walk every day in the early afternoon, come rain come shine

Great (helpful) advise and I couldn't agree more.

Movement from the pram or closeness and movement of a sling is a great way to help sleep.

You did need to do something to help baby sleep see Mintyy (which was my point).

I also wholly agree with not being fixated on the cot for daytime naps until fewer, longer naps are established (around 6 months or so). I like the bouncy chair when home, or pushchair or carseat when out for the first 6 months. Lots of people also like slings, I've never liked them though.

I actually think our advise is very similar Mintyy, so there was never any need to be rude.

Sometimes you just have to go with whatever works

Absolutely. All we can do on the sleep board here is offer suggestions and alternates - try this, have a go at this. The parent and baby themselves will need to find the right answer for them.

Its also worth saying that sleep isn't linear. What worked for ages may at some point stop working and you need new ideas. Maybe it will work again at a later date, maybe it won't.

I disagree with this though: "some won't go to sleep whatever you try". Since sleep is a basic biological need. That would be like saying "some babies wont feed whatever you try". Such cases would need high level medical care. Average babies (if there is such a thing) need to quality sleep. If they can't sleep it is a fundamental necessity that parents need to find a way to get baby to sleep, for the sake of the baby's health. Just the same as if they weren't eating.

You are right, as far as I am aware I haven't had a child with ASD.

In relation to: "some won't go to sleep whatever you try"

What would you do with a sleep refusing ASD child? One would assume it would swiftly need medical assistance. Would that be after 24 hours awake? 48 hours? It wouldn't be long before complete sleep refusal became a significant medical issue.

I stayed up far too late on this thread last night. Knackered now . I feel an afternoon nap with my baby is due this afternoon.

Dixie, maybe re-read your contributions to this thread. "some won't go to sleep whatever you try" is not true is it? What you meant was that your ASD child will sleep only on when he wants to. That is not a case of not sleeping at all.

It is of course true that babies and children will only sleep when they are tried. No one here is advocating making a child sleep when not tired, certainly not me. One of the many skills new Mums have to learn is knowing when baby is/will be tired and spotting the signs before over-tiredness kicks in (a quite short window) and getting baby to sleep becomes much more difficult.

Your posts are striking me as deliberately and needlessly antagonistic. I cannot find anywhere on the thread you are offering some useful and supportive advise to those struggling to get their newborns to sleep. Maybe instead of the "don't listen to her, she is rubbish" rhetoric, that instead you try offering something useful, helpful and supportive to the Mums of new babies reading this.

Lush, I understand your frustration. DS was exactly the same, though I already can't remember at what age exactly. I was lucky if he napped twice for 30 mins. I tried everything and I never got him to nap longer, or more often. Apparently, there is only one method of increasing nap time, at least I have never come across any other suggestion: if baby wakes after, say, 30 minutes, do whatever it was that sent her off to sleep (ssshh-pat, rocking, bf etc.) after she has been asleep for 25 mins, in order to help her transition into the next sleep phase. I tried, it never worked. So I can't help you, unfortunately, but DS has got better as he has got older, he now manages two 60 min naps a day most days. So don't despair!

Today he has slept for half a hour and he has gone completely bonkers. His eyes are rolling, he's laugh-crying and manic, he'll only feed for a few minutes before pulling off and thrashing around.

I put him in the sling and went walking for 40 minutes, he cried for ten, slept for 30, then at the furthest point woke up and started SCREAMING, purple, convulsing screaming, and proceeded to do that as well as scratch, pinch and fight me the whole way home.

Yesterday I drove him around for an hour with similar results, although less physical damage to me. So:

Car
Sling
Sleep rituals
Bouncy chair

Nothing is working now. Is there anything left?

Thanks all i completely agree you can try everything and it just doesn't help. I'm not being obtuse- I want her to sleep. I do feel a bit now like I'm not looking after her properly because she's not getting the sleep she "should" and feel a bit shit about it to be honest

Nothing is working now. Is there anything left?

It might be worth trying to get her to sleep sooner. Sometimes by the time my DD is showing physical tired signs (she eye rubs and as a baby used to thrash her head side to side), she is actually over-tired by that point and should have gone to sleep half an hour sooner. I know she'll be harder to get to sleep when she gets to that point, so I try to anticipate her being tired according to how well he slept earlier and such.

How old is your DS again? Was it 3 months? Milk intake could be the answer. Massive developmental leaps that happen between 3-4 months mean babys milk intake goes up massively and permanently.

At around 16 weeks old my DDs milk intake went up by 25% literally overnight. That's not just 'a bit more milk' it was a massive amount. My DD preferred not to increase the size of each feed, instead she added extra feeds through the day, feeding more frequently (we got to about 2 hourly feeds).

Thanks Dixie