3 month old has forced me into sleep training

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Overnight, my happy sleepy little baby suddenly refused point blank to fall asleep during the day. So after two days of an increasingly furious, overtired baby screaming at me, I went from a 'play-it-by-ear' form of parenting to a regimented sleep schedule of sleep rituals, wake-to-sleep interventions and complete house arrest.

It never occurred To me that this is how I'd be doing things - but I don't see what other choice i had.

To those that advocate later sleep training or none at all, how did you contend with nap fighting? Anyone else feel that theyve been pushed into sleep training by their baby? Any other experiences or tips to be shared?

:)

Ooh, for once I agree with Mintyy! Yes, babies can settle themselves to sleep.

It all goes tits up after a few months, of course, but some of them do do it.

Fate I'm not sure how that's helpful- I've said she won't. How can I force her? telling me she needs more sleep doesn't really help when the whole problem is she won't nap.

She might nap in the car or during a walk but not in the house (so no YOU time unless you count driving/ walking)

What do you do to make them sleep?!

"Oooh for once I agree with Mintyy"

How nice.

Ah, pfft.

"Babies/children can't go to sleep themselves (ie left to their own devises) at all. No baby can. Children don't have the emotional capacity to do so until about school age."

Well this is utter tosh! What on earth makes you think it is ok to post this sort of rubbish?

Whilst I dislike Sarah Ockwell-Smiths sleep methods, her science is good:

sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/30/self-settling-what-really-happens-when-you-teach-a-baby-to-self-soothe-to-sleep/

Do not try and be insulting to me Mintyy. Sarah OCs article (which is utter tosh) can be summed up as:

"Give your baby a dummy/comforter from birth". But that wouldn't sell many books. The fact is her science about brain is well documented and not disputed.

What she is saying that a baby cannot go: I'm tried, lie down, close eyes, sleep. This is self soothing.

What she failed to mention in her article is that there are a million ways Mums throughout the years have been helping babies to get to sleep:

• Full tummy/feeding to sleep
• Swaddling
• Dummies
• Sucking hands/fingers
• Sucking on a toy
• Blankie
• Comforter toy
• Rocking
• Moving (pushchair/carseat)
• Patting
• Tickling

I could go on. The point is that babies need something to help them get to sleep. Mums have been doing these things for years. Sarah OC forgets to mention them in her guilt-trip article. But the facts of brain development are sound and anecdotally true through experience aswell.

Now say sorry for being rude to me Mintyy.

Ah pfft. That seems to be acceptable?

the vast majority of those are not options for scbu babies - they still sleep...

Oh shush. You've been pretty nasty to me in the past ( under different names, so I know it's nothing personal). All I'm saying is that we've clashed. Many many times. But you wouldn't be aware because I name change frequently .

Just saying I agree with you in this instance, thats all.

I've said she won't. How can I force her?

Babies do need a lot of sleep Lush. In the same way that feeding is essential to baby's development, so is sleep. You don't mention how long her 2 naps are but if she is having 6/7 hours a night and then maybe two hour long naps (?) - 9 hours sleep is 24 hours is quite unhealthy for a young baby.

As for how - well just like the massive learning curve becoming a Mum is, you have to try lots of things to find something that works.

Many people hold baby to sleep. Many co-sleep. Maybe feed lying down and stay there? You could try a dummy. Try rocking in a pushchair or rocking in your arms.

It is a just a case of try, try and try something else. I can't give you 'the answer' as to how your baby will sleep more, but I can offer suggestions to try. If that helps?

Well then I must have imagined it all the hundreds of times my babies just drifted off to sleep without a murmur?

But why? for what reason? (Team Bacon).

As if I care!

Huh?

The vast majority of scbu babies are very young and/or quite poorly.

The joys of the first three months - baby just easts and sleep and doesn't need much more effort than that. The hard work starts from then onwards.

Why what?

You know... You could just... Not be a cow sometimes. Just be nice.

yeah, i know that - i was just pointing out a flaw in your 'all babies...' statement.

God.... I was saying I agreed with you, ffs.

Well then I must have imagined it all the hundreds of times my babies just drifted off to sleep without a murmur

I'm guess you may have forgotten what you did to get them to that point.

I've forgotten what its like between having each of my children. Rose tinted wonderful newborn cuddles. Realty has soon reminded me of the wonders of dummy/swaddle/full tummy/ as a sleep aids when DC4 came out of the fourth trimester last year.

Fact is Mintyy, I am actually trying to help the people on the thread rather than just making snide comments.

I'm Not asking you to tell me fate, but I think you should probably accept that not all babies will do as you expect. I have tried almost everything you've mentioned (admittedly at almost 5 months she is older than the babies you seem to be referring to)
Many people would disagree with what you're saying. There is a Poster on infant feeding his being told it's perfect normal to BF a 5 MO baby throughout the day and night.
Not to mention that napping constantly would tie you to
The house most of the day- how can that be healthy?

FATEdestiny - when you say this "Babies/children can't go to sleep themselves (ie left to their own devises) at all. No baby can. Children don't have the emotional capacity to do so until about school age." I disagree. It is simply not true. There are many thousands of posters on Mumsnet who have easy babies who sleep well without any form of sleep training.

TeamBacon - I'll be sure to take lessons on not being a cow from you.

Yeah, helpful PlaymobilPirate.

I stand by my "all babies" comment. The notion of "oh yes, getting baby to sleep is easy peasy, they just go to sleep on their own" is not only insulting the intelligence of FTM. It is also grossly unfair to perpetuate the untruth since it leads to

(a) FTM who's baby doesn't just go to sleep feel like they have some way failed (they haven't, because all babies need help to go to sleep)

and

(b) Very over-tired tiny babies because FTMs think that if baby isn't sleeping them they don't need the sleep (because they do not realise that babies need active help to sleep).

The use of the term "independent sleeping" is more useful than "self settling". Many babies can be put down and can go to sleep independently. These are not self-soothing. They are still receiving help to get to feel comforted and secure to sleep. Maybe they are swaddled for a secure feeling, they have full tummies and are "milk drunk" and may be given a dummy to comfort suck. Suck babies may well be put down and go to sleep alone without a murmur (my DD does this ). But this is not self-settling. A parent is still actively assisting the baby to go to sleep and the adult is reading and acting on tired signs. Baby does not actively notice their tiredness, lie down, close eyes and sleep.

There are many thousands of posters on Mumsnet who have easy babies who sleep well without any form of sleep training.

Yes. And....?

This bears no relevance on my actual point.

Napping doesn't need to tie you to the house lush.

With my tribe of four it can't tie me to the house because I have school runs and a million clubs and groups to ferry children between!

All babies are different Lush, you are absolutely right. 5 months is about right for transitioning from short, frequent naps to fewer longer naps - so your baby may well not be as different as you think with the 2 naps