Baby doesnt nap

[Sparrowlegs248]

DS is 6 wks old and wont nap during the day unless i feed him to sleep then let him sleep on me. Occasionally i can put him down and he will stay asleep but more often than not he wakes almost immediately.

He will sleep in the car and sometimes in the sling.

Any advice? It concerns me that hes nkt getting enough sleep.

This sounds a completely normal for this age im afraid. Have you tried a bouncy chair? Or a dummy? Mine had his naps on me for probably about the first 3 months. You could try googling the fourth trimester. I found that helpful.

Thank you. Have purchased dummies today! I've read 4th trimester. He does sleep more at night though not wonderful but enough. I am just struggling with not being able to do anything in the day.

It is hard. And feels like it will never end. But it does get better. I used the bouncy chair a lot so that I could sneak off to the kitchen and do a few bits or even just use the bathroom! Babies just want the reassurance of us at that age. When I finally accepted that then it became a bit easier. Are there people around who can help either around the house or being the one to hold the baby for a bit?

He doesn't like the bouncy chair sadly. I have mum and MIL but they seem to want to chat and coo and often I feel better off on my own. MIL Will do stuff for me but often I feel i want need to do it myself. I'm used to being very independent and busy person so am finding it all a bit of a struggle tbh.

I know the housework will still be there, and I'm really not the sort with a spotless house, but it would be lovely to not have to sit down all day. I guess I'm not having a good day. I feel like I'm out of my depth.

Poor you. I know how hard it is. My DD is 10 weeks old and my god, getting her to nap is exhausting!

She's started to nap in her cot but it takes a LOT of effort. Swaddling, feeding, jiggling, white noise...and even then it doesn't always work and she's just down for half an hour. Luckily she will always sleep in the sling so I know I have this option. But it's not ideal, hurts my back and limits what I can get done.

I did get very stressed with it (especially as she's not the greatest night sleeper). But I've made my peace with this just being a phase (hopefully!) which she will grow out of. In the meantime, you just do what you have to do. I'd recommend persevering with the sling - maybe try some different types?

Good luck with it all and sympathy - it's so hard, I know xx

Most babies are like this until they are ready to learn to sleep without your help.

My DS is 11 weeks and I jig him to sleep for his first nap and put him down asleep. He manages 30 mins (a full sleep cycle for this age) and wakes up with no idea of how to put himself back to sleep. If I then transfer him to the sling he has a further 2 hrs so he's def still tired. I tore my hair out when DS1 did this but it honestly changes.
If you want to get stuff done use the sling so your hands are free...

I found letting them fall asleep on me meant I couldn't put them down as they would have a 5-10min power nap and then when put in their bed they would wake and couldn't fall asleep as they weren't tired anymore.

Are you sure she is warm enough when she is sleeping alone? Have you tried warming the cot, and putting on a few extra layers, also if you want her to fall alseep on you wrap her in a blanket/sleepoing bag first so she goes down with her warm layer.

Also have you tried feeding and then putting down awake and then let her suck on your finger or dummy while she drifts of to sleep (hopefully). I found it best to put mine down really awake so they are calm and then as they get more tired let them suck and shh shh making yourself as invisible as possible so you aren't simulating them too much (easy at 6 weeks as they can't see very far). This is constricting for a while but means mine at least learnt how to self sooth quickly as I did this from birth. I also play the radio so little noise from me don't wake them and give them a chance ot resettle after the first sleep cycle, letting them suck my finger again if they need too, but that didn't last long and they learnt to do it alone.

Thanks. Its all a bit confusing. I posted before about whether i should try and help him sleep and the response was no, he'll sleep when he wants. But i feel like we are just drifting along a bit aimlessly.

I think I am going to try establishing a routine for me - not him so much. Getting up at a certain time, going out to deal with animals mid morning (he Will then sleep in the short car journey then nap in the sling outside) home for lunch then maybe nap in sling in the afternoon while i attempt some housework.

He naps in the sling while i cook dinner and Will be put down usually long enough for me to eat and make a cuppa afterwards. Feeds then fallskeep on me. As he is now. Night time is not too bad. Its certainly not great but i find sleepless nights easier to deal with than the days.

Don't worry I think it's normal, DS was the same at that age but at about 4-5 months we started to do really good naps. Doesn't really help you when you really just rang then to have a sleep so you can too

He doesn't like the bouncy chair sadly

6 weeks is too little to realistically establish that he dislikes anything really. I would keep trying with the bouncy chair (and dummy). Both are brilliant for establishing long term good sleep habits.

At 6 weeks baby shouldn't want more than 90 minutes awake between naps. Ideally 60 minutes from waking you need to be helping him get back to sleep.

The EASY routine allows for flexibility while giving a predictable routine. You follow the same repeated structure throughout the daytime, in timings that suits your baby.

Between 6-12 weeks we were following 90 minute EASY cycles:

E - Eat - start the cycle with a full feed
A - Awake/activity time - at this age awake time might just be a cuddle and look around. No more than 60 minutes from waking, or sooner if tired signs are shown
S - Sleep - Dummy in, into bouncy chair with you on sofa and foot bounce, bounce, bounce that baby into sleep submission, reinserting dummy as needed. Gentle bounce back to sleep any time he stirs until 90 minutes have passed since feed. Then just wait for baby to wake naturally and start again.
Y - You time while baby is asleep.

I've always wondered how that "EASY" routine works with a baby that falls asleep after a full feed? Are you supposed to make them stay awake, and if so, how?

Thanks Fate i do try through chair but he cries almost as soon as i put him in it. He really isn't sleeping anywhere near as much as you suggest, during the day. MIL commented yesterday - she arrived at 12.30 ish and he was napping in the sling - 30 minutes ish. He woke and was awake until she left at 5pm. We went for a walk with the pram - he looked sleepy but would not give in. He cried for most of the walk, not hysterically, no tears, not red in the face, not screaming. He next zapped when i put him back in the sling at 6.30.

Also yes i looked at EASY but he does feed to sleep. If i sit with him.on me.

CultureSucksDownWords

If you start feeding upon waking then baby is unlikely to be tired. That's the key really.

You need an alternate method for getting baby to sleep which is where dummy and bouncy chair come in.

Tomorrows challenge then FATE, starting first thing when he wakes.

Nottalotta - Baby sounds significantly over-tired in that case. You really could do with really focusing on more sleep for baby.

In those first 12 weeks (definitely first 6 weeks) babies basically just eat and sleep with hardly any awake time at all.

Your baby's difficulty in getting to sleep could well be because of over-tiredness. Good sleep promotes better sleep and unfortunately poor sleep leads to worse sleep in babies. So baby sleep deprivation becomes self-perpetuating

Just a tip - swaddle then feed so when you put him down he's warm and won't flap himself awake.

Then do all the easy stuff re overtiredness and healthy sleep habits. But in the short term, swaddle, feed, exchange nipple with dummy, cuddle for 20 minutes then put down.

Tomorrows challenge then FATE, starting first thing when he wakes

You need an alternate way to get baby to sleep, if not feeding though. If you have no other way to get baby to sleep then feeding to sleep will at least get baby the sleep she really needs.

The most important thing in your case is sleep.

Anyhow, anywhere, anyway

Just get baby having a lot more sleep, more regularly. Don't worry about anything else. Don't consider habits or routine, just get baby sleeping well.

30 minute naps are absolutely fine (in fact completely normal at this age). But short naps should be frequent. Much, much more frequent than half an hour sleep in five hours awake.

I don't think that feeding on waking would have worked for my DS, plus I didn't mind him sleeping on me (I'm lazy and don't mind leaving the housework!). I was also fortunate that he would sleep in the pram if I went for a decent walk.

I agree that your baby sounds a bit over tired OP, so whatever works for you in terms of getting more sleep out of him.

Just a tip - swaddle then feed so when you put him down he's warm and won't flap himself awake.

Then do all the easy stuff re overtiredness and healthy sleep habits. But in the short term, swaddle, feed, exchange nipple with dummy, cuddle for 20 minutes then put down.

Absolutely. Yes, yes, yes to all of this^

You need to look for some short-term emergency just get this baby to sleep more tactics for the coming few weeks.

www.mybabysleepguide.com/2013/02/average-sleep-charts-by-age.html?m=1

I loved this guide to awake times by age. It tallied well with ds. He only seemed tired when he was overtired but would settle quickly when I watched the clock.

I agree with fate that the amount of sleep is more important than how it comes about. Sleep = More sleep. Just work on not feeding to sleep by the 4 months age if you can

Such a different set of ideas to my previous post. He Will feed to sleep, and he Will sleep on me, and in the car. So would you suggest i just let him.sleep on me for the next few weeks to establish more sleep? I know he needs more sleep I(hence the post) but i am very much struggling with the daytime myself.

Let him sleep on you and put him down after 20 minutes when he's in a much deeper sleep. Then you should get your stuff done.

Another idea is a swing.

You really need to focus on more sleep for your baby. Whatever works for him is ok. Mine needed silence & darkness so I stayed home as much as I could, put up blackout blinds, swaddled, ensured so longer than 90 minutes waking between naps...basically did whatever it took to get baby to sleep & stay asleep. It did help good night sleep. But I would also say - if you can avoid habits that are hard for you to keep up with then try avoiding them if you can find other alternatives. E.g. Swaddling instead of swing etc.

I would try whatever you think will work for you and him to get more daytime sleep.

I found that I could sometimes transfer my DS off me onto a sleepyhead pillow on the floor, if I wrapped him in blanket/muslin before he fell asleep.