11mo horrible sleeper

[londonsquirrel]

Hi all,

I was hoping for a bit of your mumsnet wisdom. Sorry for a bit of a rant, but it looks that I wouldn't be able to do this any more soon.

Breif explanation of the sittuation: I have an 11mo, we co-sleep since he was about 4mo (at that age he just woke up the minute I put him into his cot) and I nurse him to sleep. There is no way he ever fell asleep on his own. There were a couple of occasions before he was 4 months old, but ever since 4 months sleep regression bedtime is only with nursing to sleep. He never took a soother spit it out the very minute. I once tried to leave him with daddy in the evening, they ended up with an hour of crying and refusing to take a bottle in the end, even though we practiced the bottle before and he fell asleep with grandma for a nap. No way he will take a bottle from my hands he is simply demanding my breast when he knows it's time to sleep.

So this is the way the day goes: he wakes up at 7:30, goes for a nap at about 9:30 with breast. Wakes up 30 mins later whining, I feed him and he sleeps for another hour. Previously he was taking all the naps in the pram for 30 mins max. He would nap 3 or 4 times a day with 2 hrs in between. Now it is two and I get a bit more things done when he is napping at home. His second nap is around 3pm and he naps the same way. If I try to make it a 30 min nap -- he is just not happy and not in the mood at all. We start night routine at about 8pm. If we try any earlier that would mean more crawling around the room and would not affect the time he actually falls asleep. He falls asleep sometime before 9pm.

Then he wakes up 4 times: at about 11pm, 2am, 4am, 6am and then at 7:30 he wakes up for the day. Some days it is a bit better with 11pm, 3am and 6am, then 7:30 or 8 for the day. What I actually dream about is to have at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep... Ideally -- to have a day when I do not need to give a breast to soothe him every 30 mins after the nap. He does not really need that milk, he doesn't suck much and he gets really lots of food during the day.

It was a bit better when we were with my parents during the summer. They gave me a bit of sleep time while playing with him. I'd say he went to bed easier when we were with them and woke up maybe twice a night, maybe they are really better at entertaining babies.

I am not sure what is going on now. Is there some sleep regression at 11 months or around 1st birthday? I feel that he was a much better sleeper when he was 3mo and could do a 9hr stretch. And I feel like a zombie during the day, not being able to fully enjoy time with my son.

Any advice or success stories on how you deal with it?

That all sounds really tough. I experienced similar with DD (now almost 11 months), she was a real boob addict, co-sleeping at night, napping in sling. The approach I took was to gradually take away her various sleep 'crutches' - of which my boobs were her main ones! I started by settling her to sleep in the sling rather than feeding to sleep every time she woke up. That made for a tough few nights, she did not like the change but shifted from waking every 1-2 hours to waking every 3-4 hours. A big improvement! After that I got stuck so ended up working with a sleep consultant who sorted out a whole plan for us covering napping, diet, night times. Using no cry techniques. Brilliant. DD now almost sleeping through the night.

If you can afford it I would recommend getting help which will be tailored to your particular situation.

One of the tips which has helped is using a small comforter for all sleeps. I was totally sceptical that my little boob addict would accept such an inferior substitute (!) but amazingly after persevering for a few weeks she cuddles it in the cot and every time she wakes up.