Help!!! 4 month old unsettled for the last 5 nights!!!!

[reno]

Hello all. My DS has been waking up every two hours for the last five nights, but we can't pinpoint it to anything specific. We have started weaning him and yes, he has been having teething probs, but other than that, there seems to be no reason for it. He has a bedtime routine (of sorts) at around 7pm, and stopped having night time feeds over about two weeks ago when we upped his milk feeds from 7oz x 5 to 8oz x 4. he is on Cow and Gate hungry baby milk and takes quite a large amount of food at his weaning feeds, plus the full 8oz of milk. Any one got any ideas about why he is doing this? He never woke up before apart from needing his night time feeds. I get up every time he wakes and give him his dummy back as its the only thing that will settle him - we have tried to take it away but he screams!!! Also, anyone got any tips on this issue - babies settling themslves to sleep WITHOUT crying or needing a dummy?

If he is having teething problems - thats a reason in itself to keep waking up. Have you talked to your midwife?

No advivce, but just thought I'd share my thoughts (for what they are worth). My DD is 14 weeks and her sleep pattern has been haywire for almost 2 weeks now! Did think growth spurt but seems to be too long for that, no sign of teething so think she is just fussy, and have decided that when you think you've cracked it is the point it is bound to go t*ts up!!

I've decided just to perservere and fingers crossed they settle back into a new routine in their own time

Good luck

DS was unsettled for a few weeks when he wanted to roll over but couldn't yet. as soon as he was able to and he slept on his tummy instead of his back he was sleeping like a log! he's now also sleeping without a dummy.

I agree, don't dismiss teething too quickly. I tend to find that if I put some gel on DDs gums and she calms down thats probably whats wrong. After that, I either wait 20mins or so to see if she gets upset again or if I'm really confident, I'll give her some medicine. Teething comes and goes so you won't have to be dosing him up every night for weeks on end if thats a concern.

Speak to your Health visitor and let them know how much milk he's having and when and also how much and what type of solids. If he's a big baby maybe he needs more solids or a different type ie. carbs instead of fruit. but speak to HV as you need to be careful before 6 mths.

cheers popeye 123 - i have thought about some carbs but need to see the hv for ideas about what to give. Also thanks to asleep for comments about rolling over - i hadn't thought about that one , but he is gradually moving in that direction - will persevere and see what happens......

sleeping on tummy...yes, thats a good thought. DD also alot better now she does that (god its a worry when they start though!). Tend to put her down on her side (reaches out to teddy) and from there she'll roll one way or the other or just stay on her side. My HV said that once they are able to roll themselves onto tummy you don't have to worry as they'll also be able to roll themselves back if they want.

Having something very similar with my DS at the mo (just 5 months old). Had a reasonable routine, bed at 7-8ish and then would go through til 4, sometimes even 5/6 and on rare occasions 7. But now!! 3rd round of jabs (with new one) totally unsettled him, teeth are looming and we have just started weaning him. For about 10 days he was waking up at 9.30pm, 10.30pm, midnight, 2, 3...sometimes a cuddle sorted him, other times it was a feed. However, last couple of nights he has slept better, til 4.15am and then this morning til 5am. Didn't go back to sleep really but at least we've had a fair length of uninterrupted kip. All we did was a couple of nights of medication (Calpol one night, Nurofen the next) and got some Calgel on his gums. Sorry to go on but you sound very similar to me. Maybe it's just the combination of teeth and weaning? Will see what happens tonight! (oh, and I'd like to know how you can get them to sleep during the day without crying-rocking-dummy)

So its not only me thats going through this frustrating night-time fiasco then?

Reno, I know how your feeling hun! Sory to rant my problems on yout thread but am in need of a bit of advice too which sounds like what your going through. My ds is 14 weeks old and was sleeping through from 10pm till 5-6am-ish but over the past week has started waking up at 2-3am-ish and then again an hour later and maybe another hour later? Its absolutley killing us. He will not settle without being rocked or a dummy either, keep wondering if its my fault? Keep wondering if I should let him cry himself to sleep? As a first time mom I'm finding the 'not knowing whats wrong' thing very frustrating? I think he is teething, we are trying Calpol but it doesnt seem to do much? At the moment I'm breast feeding but we are giving him 3 bottles of formula throughout the day as he wasnt putting on any weight and was comfort sucking a lot, could this be causing it? Am very very confused!! Advice would be great!

I am comforted to find some other people having exactly the same issue. DS2 (14 weeks) was sleeping fabulously from 7pm until 3am and then straight back down until 6am until 2 weeks ago when he started waking every 2 hours everynight. We have increased his day feeds and tried a dummy, but he is still very unsettled. Maybe all these posts mean there is something strange that happens around 3.5-4 months? Both DS1 and DD1 slept right through from 7pm from about 12 weeks, so my new little guy has me totally perplexed (and tired).

Its really common for things to go haywire at this age...up til now they haven't done much apart from feed, poo, sleep and of course grow. Now the fun starts...weaning, teething, developement changes ie. rolling over, thinking about sitting up...
No - BigHotMama - its not you. You haven't done anything wrong. To quote someone on another thread "they are babies , not robots". You're not going to always know whats going on and you're not going to have all of the answers. To a certant extent you just need to ride the waves and wait for things to calm down such as weaning to really kick in (can take weeks), first tooth to appear (can take weeks!) and for baby to get used to being more mobile.
Personally I never wanted to do CC because I didn't KNOW what was going on so if DS really needed me/feeding then I didn't think CC was the answer. Others may disagree but if your hearts not in it then you shouldn't start it.
I feel like I tried everything and I think I tried too hard. I think I ended up confusing DD because I stopped being consistent. Once I gave myself permission to just go with it then I felt alot better. Until then I felt pressure..although not intended..from friends & books to do something...anything...and felt that everyone must have thought I was mad to put up with it all.
IMO, its only a sleep "problem" if its a problem for you - if you and baby are really unhappy then yes you probably ought to try something but its not really a "problem" just because baby isn't doing what the books say, what your friends babies are doing or even what it used to do.
Its all very well for me to say this because I'm out the other side (I hope) now but I found the self doubt and pressure worse than the sleepless nights which, believe me, were bad.

Comforting to know we're not alone! BigHotMama, definitely not your fault. I think I've read too many books and yes, you do feel as if you're doing something wrong or getting into bad habits. I'm slowly beginning to realise that little bubbas do their own thing and usually it's totally independent of anything we do as mothers!! Still would like to know, like you reno, how you can get them off to sleep without crying or needing a dummy?....

Thanks Popeye and Ali, its so good to feel reassurred its not something I've done/am doing. Last night he woke up again at 2am, instead of automatically feeding him I stroked his head, put his blankets back on and gave him his dummy with a little bit of Calpol and he nodded back off withing 1 minute so I feel today that I've achieved something, he then woke up at 4am for a feed then awake at 8am so have caught up on sleep and realised he may not need a feed just some tlc and his dummy. We are considering putting him into his cotbed soon in his own room as the moses basket is getting bit small now. Hope he'll sleep better there. Thanx again girls x

Thank goodness I've read this thread! I've been feeling so down on myself for not being able to crack the settling to sleep problem - my ds also cries before he sleeps and has to be rocked/given dummy esp for day naps - he's 17 weeks and hv is suggestig i start weaning. He's also dribbling a lot so teething is probably contributing to it. I've been thinking I need to embark on a sleep training method, ie make him learn to settle by himself, but it appears that some babies just drift off and others are bloody hard work.

This may be controversial, but do you think they will just do it when they're ready? I've read the ncss threads and it seems that no matter what people try, we're all still shattered from sleepless nights, even the dedicated mums who are doing all the "correct" things? At the moment, I haven't got the mental or physical stamina to ditch the dummy -

popeye - it's reassuring that you're out the other side, it gives me hope! at the moment I'm still at the self doubting stage about EVERYTHING - sleep, dummy, weaning...

MumofBen - please chill !

Just take 5 mins - to think about all of the things you are getting right. I bet you are taking it all for granted. Is he a contented little boy, does he smile, is he generally healthy, is he happy to be held by other people, does he feed OK...are you happy, do you enjoy being his Mum...? Focus on the good dtiff, give yourself a break. Sleep isn't the ONLY benchmark for being a good Mum. I know its the first thing people ask..."Is he good...?", "Is he sleeping..." but its NOT the be all and end all.
Took me a long time to get to thinking that maybe..just maybe...my DD is such a sociable, happy, lovely little girl because I'm always there when she needs me. It HASN'T made her clingy, quite the opposite. I'm sure she's sleeping better now because we've done our own method of sleep training...the programe where she cries out, I feed her/cuddle her until she grew confident enough to know that I'm never very far away and she's OK by herself. Another reason I didn't want to do CC because why she should be left to cry...what had she done wrong...?
anyway, I'll get off my soap box. 17 weeks is still REALLY early days - don't worry about makign a rod for your own back, don't worry about battles you may or may not have to fight one day (Battle of the Dummy), they might never happen and even if they do just take one at a time.
Finally, sleepless nights are shattering. Make sure your partner knows what you are going through and try to take the days easy if you can. This won't last forever.

xx

thanks popeye, i guess just when one thing sorts itself out, I start stressing about the next potential one - eg someone told me today, just wait till they can stand up in their cot etc - stuff like that makes me think will I ever have a decent night's sleep again in the next 5 years? The dummy issue does worry me, I had hoped he wouldn't need it by now, he's not a tiny baby anymore, and like reno and ali, I wish I he wouldn't cry and fight sleep, he cries, and scratches his head, even with a dummy and being rocked - it's distressing sometimes to think he might be associating falling asleep as something unpleasant.

Like you, I don't like CC, if he wakes in the night, a dummy sends him back to sleep straight away. if I leave him to cry for a few mins, he goes from being sleepy and quick to settle, to becoming wide awake, and crying his head off, and then can take an hour to calm him down again - I can't see how this will "teach" him to settle himself back down?

Anyway, thanks again for your kind words, yes he is healthy and adorable, and I shoudn't take any of it for granted.
x

I think that there is some truth in the com,bination of factors which are waking ds up in the night - last night wasn't too bad, although he woke at around 9pm, (having finally gone to sleep at 8.30ish)but woke again at 2, 3 and then 4 - at 4 i tired some bonjela on his dummy (not really advisable, i know) and he slept through to 7am - in fact, dh had to get him up for his breakfast!!! Am hopng that he will settle over the weekend now that he is on two feeds per day, and he's had lots of carbs. BUT, read my bounty mag earleir and it says many babies often need night feeds till about 6 months even later - anyone expereinced this? We stopped might feeds around the same time we stareted weaning - HV says to reinstate then but ds will then have too much milk, surely??? Don't know waht to do for the best really. Anyone got any ideas????

I'll add my ds2 to the list of babies who were sleeping well, and now are NOT! He is 4 months, and has been having some very unsettled nights. I sort of feel guilty that it is my fault because I always feed him to sleep, but in reality it is probably "just a phase"

BTW I am just going with the flow and feeding him as much as he wants. My other two never slept through until they were alot older so I knew it was too good to be true when ds2 atarted sleeping through at 9 weeks!

Seems like this is a common problem. And yes you do feel pressured when people ask 'is he good?' 'sleeping though?'. My little man is such a happy baby, loves attention and is very smiley and alert for his age.

Last night he woke up at 2am and I knew he possibly couldnt be hungry so I gave him his dummy with a bit of Calpol again and he went straight back to sleep then he woke again at 3am did the same, then i had to wake him for a feed at 5.30am as my boobs had leaked all over me lol . I'm now going to not feed him unless he's crying for it, maybe I've been too reluctant to feed on his early wake ups and he's not really hungry?? Oh the joys of motherhood. I havent started weaning yet so this willl probably go tits up when that starts in a few weeks. We are putting his cotbed up at the weekend and I'm dreading it but excited at the same time and in a mad kind of way I'm going to miss having him by my side in our room. His head is now touching the top of the moses basket so think its time he had more space to be rolling about and reaching his hands out without banging the sides..keep ya posted!

Had a decent couple of nights but all went haywire again 2 nights ago. Have to admit to one of those guilty secrets of motherhood and had ds in bed with us (saves standing by the cot when you're knackered!). In addition to the 11pm waking up, he also SCREAMED at half 3 so we did the calpol thing and fed him. (it must have been loud, he woke our almost deaf 80 year old neighbour) Thought things were improving. Should know better shouldn't I?
Now dropping night feeds has been mentioned I'd like to know how??? DS has 4 bottles in the day (plus baby food at one of them) and I BF at night. He never seems to take much so is it habit? Am I feeding him in these disrupted nights just to get him off to sleep rather than him needing it??? What can I do instead?? Is this stupid to consider at this freaky 4/5 month time? And why do all my friends with baby girls not have this problem?

After 2 weeks of very unsettled nights with our previously good sleeper DS2(14 weeks) we tried instituting a dream feed by waking him at 11pm (hadn't done it because it never worked with DD1 and DS1) and vowing to shush and pat when he woke after that. In fact, he never did wake after the dream feed until 6am for 3 nights running. I feel like a new person. I had to be persuaded to try the dream feed which I was convinced would not work!